Can’t say it to their face? Say it here

[NappyEverAfter]

I’m hoping this will be cathartic for others as well as me!

Happy birthday, dear friend. I would have loved to have spent it with you - or indeed, any time with you. But while we’re still friends on paper, in reality I haven’t seen you in years, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. I can only assume I trigger bad memories for you because I was your confidante when you got yourself into an awful situation.

It feels like you were the one who fucked up, but now you’ve got out of it, while I’m suffering the consequences. I love you and miss you, but I also resent you because I’m paying for your mistakes, so fixing things feels like an impossible dream. And that’s fucking painful.

Thank you to those of you who’ve read this - feel free to unload too!

Oh you two-faced cunt. Spouting your shit with no joined-up thinking. Believing yourself to be superior you decided London was beneath you. You now think you’ve “bettered” yourself. That’s not what news reports are telling me. Karma’s a bastard. Has it never entered your head that your son went off-grid to distance himself and his family after you made him homeless in your quest to chase down a man who made it clear he wasn’t interested but let you move in anyway. You’re fake as fuck. I don’t trust anything you tell me. You carry on keeping all your cards close to your chest. Oh and you know the mate whose arse you keep blowing smoke up? She slagged off your wedding and your son. If you ever look down on me again I’ll tell you what was said, but for now I’ll keep it up my sleeve. Just to add, this “friend” and her husband pity you. Bet you didn’t know that.

Dear Stepmother, You thought you had won when he left my mother. You thought you had it all....the new family, the big flashy house and "Your man". Gone tits up for you though hasn't it? "Your man" is now ill and you've already said that you will ship him off to a care home. This is after cutting him off from his original kids. You are a deeply troubled, jealous, insecure, controlling and horrible person who will end up alone - which is exactly what you deserve.

You are an absolute cunt of the highest order and I see straight through your 'I'm so thick and silly' act. You will slip up one day and everyone will see your true colours. That day will be glorious.

She simply knows what to say to who to get what she wants. And has started with her grandparents allowing it from a teenager (diagnosed with ADHD, OCD and Bipolar) all of which were chucked at her as social services were involved and they took all the diagnosis she could take - with very little evidence. Grandparents then got paid more DLA with her disgnosis. None of which I could (being very adverse in ASD now I am an adult) diagnose her with now but once she got the diagnosis it is never questioned. She claims she cannot get out of bed most days, claims she cannot walk to the end of her garden, claims she cannot clean the house so entitled to everything going. Carers, mobility car, high rate of both PIP, no intention of ever working. I’ve lived with her or next door my whole life and not once have I seen her struggle with one little thing. 4 kids, all natural births, rebuild a garden shed herself, painted the whole house herself, helped to lay a patio, takes the kids to the park everyday, walks over 3 miles to get the youngest to nursery, on the trampoline with her children. To name a few reasons why I hate the system because she gets away with it all. And I know many many genuinely struggling people who have to jump through many hoops to get the minimum of help if at all.

genuinely frustrating. Wish there was some official I could ask to watch her for one day to disprove everything she is claiming. I work full time and she gets more money for her ‘disability’ than I do working 6 days a week. And gets all the additional ‘help’.

I am trying to show those kids how to earn an honest living and become decent human beings. Strugggling to.

Mine is
I know you was rather lonely before you met your DP and you think you have it great with him, but he clearly doesn’t love or respect you. He loves the frame work for an easy life provided by you and he knows you will do nothing about it. A real partner would get to know your friends, help around the house, do his own lunch, his own work packed lunch, get himself to work, not expect you to revolve all plans around him and not allow you to do it all like he’s 8 years old. He doesn’t even do anything special for you, puts no thought into birthday or Christmas gifts even. Find yourself someone that appreciates you and works with you at home, not someone that has never grown up

Dear Dad
I'm so sorry I wasn't with you the day you died. I know you were asking for me and were heartbroken that I didn't come. I was the baby of the family and we were so close.
Truth is I wanted to come, truly. My only way to get to the hospice that evening was by car and my scumbag husband wouldn't let me take it, kept telling me that he would drive me over in the morning, but you didn't live past 8.30pm.
Clearly his squash match was so much more important even though he gave every other excuse under the sun but really, he didn't want to miss his final match of the month.
I was young then and I didn't have the courage to stand up to him.
Any ounce of love I had left for him died that day and you'll be proud that I did leave him some time later.
I'm now married to a lovely man who is very different and when mum was dying acted very differently.
Still miss you xx

What are you talking about??!! Literally listen to yourself- the cheese needs putting away? Put it away then, shoes- ditto. The house is messy? There are three whole fucking rooms covered in your shit- I’m trying to keep the rest of it tidy. No I don’t know where your glasses, wallet, passport, piece of kitchen roll with something important in it… are. What do you mean I can’t fit a handheld fan in our luggage? You are taking a fucking guitar!

@somethingischasingme the kitchen roll cracked me up! 😆

I know it's not sisterly of me but I can't wait til you fuck off on matt leave so I can steal your job and do it 4 million times better without being a total knob to everyone.

Dear Friend,

I have known and cared for you for a very long time, and I know that saying this to your face would really hurt you.

So - you are not the centre of our group around which all must revolve.

When our lovely friend died, you were not the only one hurting, your grief did not trump ours.

The reason you find it so very hard to get / keep tradesmen is that you are cheap.

Finally, if you hate where we live so much, just move. Your constant complaining and comparing to the place you last lived as a 3 year old, is tiresome.

You can report benefit fraud here:

https://www.gov.uk/report-benefit-fraud

ADHD is surprisingly disabling without medication or if the meds have not been optimised. I have just been diagnosed myself, although I got the benefits for other conditions, before I was diagnosed with ADHD. My psychiatrist who diagnosed me thinks that one of the main reasons I have ended up with the other health problem is due to dealing with undiagnosed ADHD and the stress of hiding it.

It doesn’t sound like your sister has any trouble with walking, which is one of the things that you can PIP for. You can get the mobility element of PIP if you find planning and undertaking a journey, on public transport for example, so psychologically distressing that you can’t do it - that is a possibility with ADHD. I know my friend who has ADHD finds public transport virtually impossible because she makes mistakes like impulsively getting on the wrong bus and she has terrible time blindness so is invariably either an hour early or a hour late.

The other element of PIP is called daily living and is about whether you can cook, wash and dress yourself, read, socialise, manage finances and a few other things. I can imagine people with ADHD will be claiming about forgetting to take meds, forgetting to eat and drink, struggling with wearing suitable clothing due to sensory issues, language processing issues when trying to talk to groups of friends in busy environments like pubs or cafes. To name but a few examples.

Another one. Guess what? I never liked you. I was warned by others but I found some of your personality quite amusing. You controlled and bullied me for years. You picked on what I ate, what I watched, what I listened to, the names of my friends but mainly what I wore. I know keeping the peace is a trauma response but that’s what I did because I needed the job to help get us out of some financial difficulties. Of course you wouldn’t have known about any of that. All you could talk about was yourself and you assumed everyone lived how you do. I find it incredible that both you and the husband you married (to cover the fact that you’re a secret gay) can have spent so many years in the workplace but still have no friends or even know anything about other people. As soon as the opportunity arose I walked away. You’ve tried for years to keep calling me from no caller ID numbers. I know it’s you because I was there when you hounded others that had dropped you. Fuck off and leave me alone you massive cunt

Dear BIL. I am pleased that you are feeling fit and healthy. However, I am utterly sick to the effing back teeth of hearing about your diet, your fitness regimen and your current weight. Good for you. Meanwhile, being a postmenopausal woman with osteoarthritis, I am really working hard to lose some weight, a week's semi-starvation might yield a pound off if I'm lucky, but then my diet was already healthy, I haven't just given up eleventeen pints of beer and huge curries. What I'm really sick of is you and DH looking at me and saying well, WHY can't you be exactly the same, BIL did it! Because I don't have the metabolism of a 5 foot 10 man, that's bloody why! Oh, and by the way BIL, your beard makes you look like Catweazle, and that earring is frankly ridiculous. 🤣

Dear friend -(would have classed you as one of my best friends) We've know each other for over 35 years but it hurt very much when after my mum passed away you took over 4 weeks to ask me when her funeral was.
You had known her and met her many times over the years especially when we were younger.
Afterwards you didn't check in to see how I was and only messaged me 6 weeks later to thank me for your birthday card.
I will never say anything to you but deep down I felt let down and disappointed with how you were 😢

Im 5 pages in and still going.
I can't believe you would argue over a pension but give up your daughter. Your loss.

Just tell me what I did.
Then I might understand why you ghosted me.
And it would give me a chance to explain myself - if an explanation was needed.

Not sure what evil thing it is I was supposed to have said or done but even before that you turned into a selfish arrogant bitch who thought you were better than us going off and expecting us to deal with the mess you left to us.
You used DM when she was fit but then ignored her during her final illness (but happy to have your share of the inheritance). I hope your adult children will help you when problems start I certainly won't.

To my ex, you were absolutely horrible to me and broke my heart several times over. I still don’t know if you really felt anything for me. But despite of all this, I still miss you bitterly. I occasionally let myself indulge in the memories of the happier times we spent together and they were wonderful. My heart breaks knowing I will never have that again and that I don’t even know if any of it was real.
Now kindly, please get out of my head. I wish I could forget you exist.

To my new MIL, you fooled me once, you won’t get a second chance.

Stop whingeing about missing your kids’ graduations. You lost the chance of that when you decided that shagging various slappers was more rewarding than family life. Actions and consequences, arsewipe.

So glad I never have to see you two again. No more painful visits to your smelly, freezing house eating various tasteless concoctions served with “penis portions” every time. No more listening to you disparage me, my daughter, my job, my family. No more listening to you drone on about your excruciatingly dull “achievements”. And yes, I’d say this to your smug and eminently slappable faces.

Stop telling me "you're lucky they foudn it early" ," at least they are doing the right tests", "better safe than sorry", "I'm sure it will be OK" etc etc etc - just bloddy listen to the fact that I am telling you I'm hurting and scared and empathise with me

Dear Person Who Ditched Several Friends But We All Understood

Oh dear, you're a TERF.

Dear colleague

I know you're a skiving bastard. I know that you work with clients over the phone while the appointments in the shared calendar show enough time blocked out to do a 60-mile round trip for a face to face appointment.

I've also noticed that you have a lot more issues with your kids that require you to take "family leave" when there are significant sporting events on tv.

I know that your caseload is far smaller than mine despite you being contracted for 60% more hours than me. I also know that you only address the clients' immediate issues, and don't look at their cases as a whole and pick up other things that are wrong so you can get them put right. When I've been assigned to peer review a sample of your cases, I've found significant errors that indicate a lack of basic knowledge.

Thankfully, I'm retiring in two months time, so this won't be irritating me for much longer. But what I know, and you haven't been told officially yet, is that they cannot recruit any new staff funtil decisions have been made about renewed funding for the projects we work on, which may not be until the new year. And X is leaving, so what was a team of 6 will be down to 3.

You'd better get your shit together, and fast.

Hello Sally

You were such a liar. All the other colleagues knew you were a liar. A manipulative con artist. Should have realised what kind of person you were when we’d been told you’d been married 5 times before.
I hate you. You broke me. You broke others. You lied on a daily basis. You couldn’t stop. Even the delivery men said to your face what a liar you were! You lied to the boss, you abused customers, you abused members of staff. You abused us in secret. Hospitality?! You’re having a laugh.
And your fat friend Tracey……the one who did the lookout……she was a lazy cow as well.
I worked so damn hard. I didn’t think I deserved any better. You were the one who wanted me to work there and then you said I’d got my feet right under the table!
You harassed me every single bloody day.
You attacked me at a meeting….you are a sly evil witch of a woman.
Gossip was an everyday occurrence. You even said you loved it!
And you were mean. Never ever generous to others, But you love money, don’t you? Making sure you’ve got your hands on property and living the life.
But we’ll always know you’re the biggest liar. Shame Anna didn’t. You manipulated her too.
Good riddance to you.

To my XH - you really are a needly pathetic piece of shit, still wallowing in self pity after 16 years. You bleated to all your friends and relatives that I'd left you for no reason when the fact was that I did absolutely everything to do with the house and kids while working full time - you came home, ate dinner and fell asleep in a chair. At weekends you were out doing your interests. Worst of all they believed you. You ingratiated yourself with all my relatives whereas I don't have anything to do with any of yours because they believed you. You have had positions of responsibility at my family funerals which has left me feeling utterly betrayed by them. I hate you.

To my (thankfully) dead mother. All my life you controlled me - chose my school subjects, career etc. I wasn't allowed a say in anything and it continued even after I'd left home and married. You totally took XH's side when we split up and left me only 1/8 of your estate even though I was the one you came bleating to when my sister upset you. But you left her half because "I'd brought shame on you by getting divorced. I'm glad you're dead and I haven't shed a single tear for you.