Can’t say it to their face? Say it here

[NappyEverAfter]

I’m hoping this will be cathartic for others as well as me!

Happy birthday, dear friend. I would have loved to have spent it with you - or indeed, any time with you. But while we’re still friends on paper, in reality I haven’t seen you in years, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. I can only assume I trigger bad memories for you because I was your confidante when you got yourself into an awful situation.

It feels like you were the one who fucked up, but now you’ve got out of it, while I’m suffering the consequences. I love you and miss you, but I also resent you because I’m paying for your mistakes, so fixing things feels like an impossible dream. And that’s fucking painful.

Thank you to those of you who’ve read this - feel free to unload too!

Dear ex out laws
You are disgusting human beings.
You produced two self absorbed selfish children.
You let your son’s first wife and your daughter bully, abuse and act disgustingly to me.
They both wished our baby dead and thought it funny that he was left brain damaged at birth. They still wished he would die when he was fighting for his life.
You pay for everything for your first grandson. You’ve paid for cars, driving lessons, holidays, all his school uniform, private schooling.
you’re ashamed and embarrassed to have a disabled grandson and haven’t seen him in ten years.
You don’t think you should buy him a present for birthdays etc because he has all the money he will ever need…that’s a trust fund to pay for care you idiot from the court case for hospital negligence.
Pure utter evil all of you. My son is a beautiful soul and you’ve missed out. You encourage his father not to see him. When he hit our son you sent me messages saying I was disgustingly to call the police and report it.
you said I was lying, you didn’t encourage him to get court ordered anger management and get proper help. Help that was long needed due to the effects of growing up in that toxic environment.
You truly are oxygen thief’s.
your daughter did not deserve that transplant. She probably became so ill due to the toxicity of the bile of hatred in her body. It breaks my heart that a genuine person might have missed out and that toxic spoilt bitch got it. She demanded her brothers kidney at a time she had wished his baby and wife dead and been abusing us for years.
I am so glad my son didn’t have to be part of it. I am so very glad he has a new daddy figure in his life who adores him and takes joy in his achievements and cares and laughs with him.
Evil pure evil living in a false reality

To an ex friend
I was devastated when you ghosted me after 30 years of friendship. But now after a couple years I’ve realised how self centred, narcissistic and deluded you were throughout our long friendship. Of course you could be kind, funny and great to be with and we had so many great holidays and days / nights out. We used to joke we’d be gossiping in the old people’s home together. But I was your emotional punchbag when things went wrong in your life and though I was happy to support you it never worked both ways. When I had a traumatic time years ago you half heartedly supported from a distance at a time when I needed you most and thank god other friends looked out for me. Over the years there was always drama with you to ensure you were the centre of attention at all times. You lied and embellished the truth - for no good reason other than to make yourself look more successful than anyone else. You were always jealous of my other friendships and made bitchy comments about my other friends. I wish you well but if you got in touch again I’d have nothing to say to you.
If only you’d self reflect that you’ve now cut off all three of your bridesmaids - I know your reasons for the other two and quite frankly they are ridiculous and I wish I’d told you that at the time instead remaining silent.

To my sister in law..... you truly are the most nasty, vindictive, manipulative, evil, hateful, selfish, controlling, pathetic excuse for a human being that I've ever encountered. You have always been a vile horrible mother. God only knows how your daughters have turned out to be lovely girls, albeit they both have life issues that you caused with your domineering, loveless actions. My poor brother is so brow beaten he's a shadow of what he used to be. Do everyone a favour and disappear off the planet. You deserve only misery and torment.

Oh this feels so self indulgent,but what the hell.

dear family. There are time when I would like you to ask me how my treatment for cancer is going.
maybe even ask what treatments I am getting.
you should all be very embarrassed to not know. what do you say when someone asks after me?
how hard would it be to just pop in once in a while to see how I’m doing.
and I know things are difficult now that I can’t help out.but surely you can see that I am just not able to do that anymore.
i feel guilty for having cancer,guilty that treatment is tough. Guilty that I have to pace myself. You all have busy lives.but maybe when you do see me , briefly, you could put your phone down for ten mns. Actually finish a whole conversation with me uninterrupted.
I feel all the guilt, but I also feel very sad.my cancer is such an inconvience.
I Have fears and demons to keep From overwhelming me.
and tonight is just another sleepless night, sleep never comes easy. And the fatigue I have in daylight hours isn’t cured by sleep. I’m on this never ending cycle of insomnia and fatigue.
so I guess I will finish by saying I’m sorry, I’m sad and I feel pretty abandoned.
tomorrow is another day, I’ll masquerade as a functioning member of society. But the mask comes off in the dark. Where I can really be me.
broken and pretty bloody lonely.

You are a pathetic little man, I am so glad you are struggling to get a job because the only thing you had going on in your pathetic life is being a doctor. Well enjoy not being able to get a job as one, hope you have to work in a mcdonalds for the rest of your life you absolute cunt.

It probably wouldn't hurt so much if I hadn't been so blindsided.

I never believed you would be the source of it. My trust in you meant I ignored my instincts yet even they didn't pick up on the extent of how wrong I was. I kept faith in what you had told me, but it turns out it was all meaningless.

You betrayed me and our friendship and it appears you did so knowingly. I have spent nights wondering if I inadvertently hurt you first, if I had done something wrong. Yet, I think it just comes down to the fact that you don't need me anymore...

I don't know how one really recovers from losing the relationship one felt most secure in and I'm not sure how many years it's going to take for it stop hurting. We known each other our entire lives and no one knew me better.

To be so casually discarded is one thing, but the deceit is another. The outright attitude of being a chore to you is something which will bite for a long time, I think.

I wish you nothing but happiness but I really hope you don't contact me again. I don't want to talk to you again. I'm done.

Oh where to start, you lying, stealing, vile chaos goblin.
i have spent so long being furious with myself but my anger was misplaced. It should have been directed at you all along.
You must’ve had a right fucking laugh, every time you called me in tears claiming you couldn’t afford to feed yourself and the dog (nice touch btw as you know I’d never let an animal suffer) and like an idiot I trusted you, bailed you out, paid for food, your bills,
im not even that bothered about the fact I’ll never see the money again; thankfully your stupidity caught up with you on that front (if you’re gonna plead poverty don’t put a FB post up about treating your waster boyfriend to a track day less than 24 hours after sobbing that your electrics being cut off)

What you forgot though, is that when you fake a pregnancy & a baby, human gestation ain’t 12 months long & I know human physiology inside out so you really fucked up on that one. And I’m not the only one who knows the truth.

Dear family I love you all dearly but my DC you need to know that my health has got alot worse and if my brain carries on failing the way it is then I'm not going to just keep going on,I've looked after people with dementia and alzheimers and even though I'll be called selfish for once in my life I don't care. Before it gets so bad that I can't make the choice legally I will be making that choice so to my 4 oldest now adult DC buck up and start sorting your own life's out because I won't be here forever and for the love of God be there for your little sister and your Dad because I know for a while they will struggle.

To my lovely DH I'm sorry my love I really am and I know you want me to stay no matter what and for now I'm here but that 19 more years my love I honestly don't see that happening,you know how ill I am and you know it's only getting worse and if I could carry on forever for your sake I would but I can't. I'm not going right now and I will carry on until I can't xx

@ChewbaccasMrs that sounds very hard - wishing you strength and hope x

My little moan is just to a person who used to be a really good friend, but it turns out you just used me because I was convenient and that you have better mates and better things to do now. You always say - oh message me and we will go for a coffee - but when I do - you're always busy. Plus I realised you have never once messaged me to go out in all the years I've known you...

If it seems I cut you off, it's because you gave me the scissors.

Dad it was so selfish of you to die without any kind of warning today. Why did you down play feeing unwell and not get medical help before it was too late? We only lost mum 1 year and 12 days ago, I was finally copying with the loss of her why did you have to join her?

You don't deserve everything you want because other people get it. You got yourself into this mess. Go out and earn some money. Stop asking for other people to pay for things so you can go out for dinner and buy what you want. Pay your own fucking bills

Dear son and dil. I tried my hardest bringing you up alone when your dad left i got deeper and deeper in debt but made sure you always had a roof over your head and anything you needed and wanted. Ive been alone since my twenties because I never wanted to bring anyone around you like my mum did to me. When you met your now wife she moved in with us for 4 years and I done the same with her. When you got married I took a loan out to pay for your reception that I'm still paying for. You are still the first person I think of in the morning and why I get out of bed. When you had your son I took 2 weeks off work to help when needed but was never asked. I always tell you I'm here if you need anything but am never asked. He's now 1 and he looks just like you. Do you know how much it hurts me that I'm getting to spend some time with him just taking him little walks that I'm told to bring him home because her family is coming in? Do you know how much it hurts that she takes him down to her mum's every day but because I work full time I only really get to see him on my day off and that gets cut short for her family as well? Do you know how much it hurts hearing about all the things they do together and I have to swallow my pain and put a smile on my face. I love the three of yous so much but I can't compete with her family and all the things they can do for you when I'm trying so hard every month to keep my head above water. You will never know the things I done and still do to survive every month. Please stop excluding me from his life so much,I don't want a lot just even an hour myself to spend time with him every week. Please fight for your mum who fought so hard for you. I guess we just aren't as close as I always thought we were and that's what tears my heart out. Will love you best always.

Dear friend, I wish I could tell you that I’m hopelessly in love with you. I know you don’t feel the same, but you can’t deny the connection we had, we both felt it. You’ve moved now and I cried everyday for about two after you left. We’ve kept in touch but now you’re ignoring me, this has hurt more than anything as I’ve been nothing but kind and respectful. I know you’re going through something, I know you’re struggling and I want to be able to help you but I can’t, you’re isolating yourself. I feel selfish for feeling hurt but I miss you so much you’ve no idea how you make me feel. I’m slowly moving on, getting help for myself but I don’t think I’ll ever love someone like this again, it’s cut me so deep and no one knows, I can’t tell a soul and that’s lonely.

I was stepping into adulthood, finally ready to explore something real my first serious relationship, an exciting, grown-up adventure. I felt alive, desired, independent. He was older, yes, but he saw me not as a child, not as someone to mold, but as a woman coming into her own. It was thrilling, it was mine.
But she couldn’t stand it.
Instead of supporting me, she went behind my back. Whispered warnings, planted seeds of doubt, meddled in quiet, calculated ways. And all the while, she wore the mask of the worried mother. "I’m just protecting you," she said what a lie. She wasn’t protecting me; she was undermining me. Jealousy disguised as concern.
Looking back now, it’s so clear: she didn’t fear I’d get hurt she wanted me to. She watched my heartbreak unfold with something close to satisfaction. She saw me fall apart and reveled in it, pretending to be the shoulder to cry on while secretly enjoying the collapse. Pathetic. She couldn’t bear to see me experience something she never had, so she poisoned it before it had the chance to bloom. That wasn’t love it was control. And I see it now for exactly what it was.

Hey M m,

You are a lying, cheating abuser. I hope your wife leaves and divorces you and takes half and it ruins you.

No wonder she doesn't want to have sex with you. You are a pathetic, weak, loser who has to bully and control women in order to feel good..what a pathetic loser. You fear being rejected? That's because who wants to be near you. You are toxic, a lying, cheating hypocrite. A Christian pastor while giving out sermons, cheated on your wife.

Treats women appallingly, is able to conveniently lie to cover up the dark evil inside of you. There's been 5+ women who have been hurt by you. Yet you are always the victim, woe is me.

To my line manager

I know you are being pressurised to find out exactly when I'm leaving and I know that the department needs the funding that will be released when I go to pay for somebody to take my place, but I don't know how many MORE times and in how many MORE ways I can tell you that I am waiting for the judgement on whether I am eligible for early retirement due to ill health so that I can get my pension.

In the meantime... I am on sick leave. That means that apart from clearly scheduled, at times that suit me, check ins, you should not be contacting me to ask me the same questions. These leave me stressed, both before and afterwards, and this is not helping my health. I have told you this clearly (and politely) in an email and you have, thank goodness, reduced the constant phonecalls a bit.

In our last discussion you mentioned the date that my sick note runs out and asked me if I was intending to extend my sick leave if I have not heard about my pension by then. I know why you have asked and I told you, yes I (bloody well) am! I'm pretty sure this is harassment and if it continues then I will be taking it further which will cost our Trust a hell of a lot more than another measly month of sick pay.

I know you are being pressurised from above, but you have been told about the stress these phonecalls are putting me under. You have been told that I don't have any more information. Asking me the same questions time after time are not going to get a different result. I am entitled to 6 months of full pay and 6 months of half pay - if you are not very careful I will take the whole lot which will mean the funding for my position will not be released for another 8 months AND I will be entitled to a whole year's worth of annual leave on top of that. Be very glad that I intend to leave as soon as I have the decision about my retirement, even though I could squeeze a whole lot more money from our employer.

Dear female relative of DH. Your toxic father has passed on most of his genes to you. Your mother put up with countless infidelities because he had money. Your drama and stuff you invent is ridiculous, you’re 60 grow up. You move areas every few years because you have to reinvent yourself, then eventually everyone catches on and you move again. Your husband who people see as controlling, he glues himself to your side, more to minimise the damage, than wanting to spend every moment with you. You totally exhaust everyone and think it’s ok to make personal comments, look in the mirror and do something with that Brillo pad stuck to your head.

@ChewbaccasMrs .There are no words💔💔🙏

Dear NDN

You don't know it but the morning before you arrived home from your two week holiday we got noise monitoring equipment installed from the local authority, then you arrived back from your summer holiday later that evening same day🤪 you played right into it as well, completely oblivious, inviting a friend over for drinks to talk at pub volume levels against the party wall two days later at the weekend (Saturday). 😀 Most people, first weekend back from a two week summer holiday would naturally just lay low and not be up to socialising but thanks for being different from most other normal families and being loud because now we may have some evidence to corroborate our several complaints against you. Cheers 🤞🤣🍻

Dear X. You are lazy. Plain and simple lazy. Your ‘job’ hunting is not hunting at all and taking two weeks to fill out one application form is taking the piss. You’ve had a free life, never worked and that time has now come to an end so stop sitting around blaming everyone and everything else and go and get a job. Any job. At nearly 50 it’s your own fault you’re starting at the bottom and I have zero sympathy or tolerance for any more of your excuses.
and you aren’t busy because everything you do I also do and more and work full time.
like I said your lazy and our friendship has run its course because we no longer have the same morals.

When I saw you at that event, at first I thought, "Oh, how funny, that person looks just like a really bad looking, badly dressed and badly presented version of Twat". And then I realised...

Hahahaha!

Her-who-must-not-be-named

Just drop it now. He has blocked your number. He has repeatedly asked you to stop contacting him after the deadline. He doesn't want you in his life anymore. Why the hell are you insisting on turning up at his house?

Has the fact that you needed to collect all your stuff through indirect means not told you he doesn't want to see you? Or that he refused to attend the event he had been looking forward to all year when it transpired that you'd be there despite saying numerous times you wouldn't? Or the very clear message that you need to leave him the fuck alone after you'd already squeezed all joint possessions and some money out of him?

You know he has moved on. I'm sorry you found out the way that you did, but we're not going to hide every time we see a familiar face. He is happy. I make him happy.

You had been given numerous chances. You blew every single one of them. You lied, you were disrespectful and you assaulted him. And once again, you are disrespecting his boundaries. Stop trying to push them. Stop trying to involve his friends and family. It makes them feel awkward.

If you continue to try and contact him, or if you turn up when I am around, the police will be involved. Again.

You made your bed. Go lie in it. And leave him alone.

I love you because you are my son and I would do anything for you, but you really are a nasty person and you change the narrative to suit yourself, your upbringing was not different to your siblings you just made it harder for yourself, you need to stop taking drugs even though you do not class smoking weed as drugs, and get your life together as you are wasting it, and stop blaming me and everyone else.
Oh and I will never forgive you for assaulting me.

Dear Sister,

please stop screwing the system, you are not disabled, you simply know what to say to get what you want. You frustrate me that you are claiming disability PIP and shortly getting a mobility car (when you don’t even have a licence) in your partners name. You have done so many things illegally (driving, no insurance, no licence, no car seats for baby, benefit fraud, lied to social services, lied to police).
I genuinely know one day your lies will come crashing down around you and we will be there yet again to pick up the pieces of your life and rebuild you without a simple thank you.

I do love you but I hate that you a lying, stealing, cheating and generally being a crap role model for the tribe of children you are continuously pushing out.

NB