Not to disclose the ingredients?

[Sparklingred]

My friend just got back from abroad and brought us some biscuits. They were super tasty and really buttery. DP ended up eating most of them.

When I wanted to bin the packet, I noticed they had lard in them. DP doesn’t eat pork for religious reasons. He’s not super religious otherwise, but that’s the one thing he sticks to.

Now I don’t know whether to tell him. I feel bad keeping it from him, but he’s already eaten them, and I’m worried he might get upset or blame my friend. She definitely didn’t mean any harm. She’s not the type to check ingredients, and honestly, we didn’t expect biscuits to have lard either.

YABU - tell him
YANBU - don’t tell him

Beef lard? Tallow or dripping is from beef. Lard is from pigs.

That was dripping, not lard.

This is a bit odd- do they have any weird history? Why would he think that she did it on purpose? Unless there’s back story between the two of them, that wouldn’t be nice of him at all. She’s just bought you both a gift and of course she wouldn’t think to check the ingredients, it is up to HIM and ONLY HIM to check what he is eating.

Sorry- no it can’t. Lard is definitely pork.

I’ve got to agree with many posters - lard is 100% from a pig. If it’s not from a pig, it’s not lard.
Lard was traditionally used in a lot of recipes - we now usually see butter (like pastry made with butter)
However, pastry made with half butter/marge half lard is far superior to all butter. It gives a flaky quality.
Lard is (if rendered well) quite flavourless so was always a popular ingredient in biscuits and cakes - or indeed lardy cake/bread!
I always make my homemade bread with a bit of lard rather than the ubiquitous olive oil - the lard comes from watching my grandma make bread in the 70s.
It’s a fabulous fat for cooking and without doubt the cheapest (half the price of dripping -which is from beef).
Modern health now seems to be swinging back to animal fats over sunflower/rapeseed/vegetable oil. I have pretty much switched back to lard and dripping and I’m not suffering any ill effects from this. Animal fats are simply rendered - not highly processed like sunflower/vegetable oil is.

Anyway, I’ve totally missed the point of the post in my little chat about the joys of lard and dripping!!
@Sparklingred Dont tell him. There’s nothing to be gained from it.

There is no point in telling him as nothing can be done about it now.

Maybe it’s just me overthinking it. I think it’s more that I don’t want him to associate her with this event because I don’t know how affected he’d be if he knew he had ingested pork.

I don’t think he’d blame anyone, but I imagine he’d be quite disgusted, like I’d feel if I found out I’d inadvertently eaten dog.

Op do you really not see that if he was that bothered…. He’d read ingredients!!

I mean, this is all so very strange. Mainly your reaction to this non event

Thats dripping. Very tasty but not lard.

I get that but most goods dont contain dog so you wouldnt necessarily think to check

On the other hand, lots of products contain pork products or other animal products, its not uncommon. So you would surely think to check

And before you said it was Spain, I thought I bet thats Spain and of course they are masters of the use of the pig. Almost nothing gets past them without having some sort of association with pig meat and bits of pig. Even buttery biscuits.

And to say it again for people that dont seem to realise, lard is pork, it is not from any other animal.

What amazes me is that some people don't even know that lard is pig fat.

There's absolutely no point in telling him. You don't even know it's pork. It will only make him feel awful. It's not as though he's going to eat them again.

@healthybychristmas , if it was lard, it was pig fat.

Yes I've checked with Google and lard is pork fat. Beef not mentioned.

Don't tell him - no point.

So he didn't bother to check and would think your friend is malicious?

I'm a bit worried why you feel this is an ethical dilemma at all. Obviously dont proactively tell him because there are no positives to it.

Are you worried he will be angry at you?

Don’t tell him. I once accidentally bought something that contained non-kosher beef gelatine. It would have been worse for everyone to bring it up, so I just quietly binned it and checked more carefully going forward.

I don’t eat meat and I would rather not be told after I’ve eaten them. Before, or not at all.

My husband is in recovery from alcohol. He is vigilant about having no alcohol at all. No sherry trifle, no steak and ale pie and no fish if it’s cooked in beer batter. He always checks in a restaurant. His reason is he doesn’t want the thought in his head that he’s had alcohol ( yes even if it evaporated with the cooking) because he’s worried that might start the craving again and he’s been in recovery for 15 years. Anyway we were at my nephew’s and he was cooking dinner and I saw him ( too late to stop him) putting a glug of wine in the sauce he was making . It wasn’t something that you would normally associate with alcohol, so not beef carbonate or coq au vin etc. I had to make a decision as to tell him or keep schtum. I kept quiet , it wasn’t a large glug of wine and you couldn’t taste it but I thought my nephew would have been mortified and my husband paranoid. Keeping quiet was definitely the thing to do. It would be different if it was something he was actually allergic to.

If he is observant he could have checked the packaging himself. Not sure why you needed to do it for him after he’d eaten the biscuits.

It strikes me as ‘I’m super special because I have a religious boyfriend’ or some kind of grudge against the friend. Weird vibes from this ‘dilemma’ 🙄

It doesn't strike me as that. What an odd conclusion.

Why are you blaming your friend? Blame your husband for not reading the ingredients. This is on him. Don’t be so dramatic.

Is he your husband or your five year old son?

Lard is always pork. Beef fat is called tallow.

This.
However, biscuits always have some kind of fat in them and it's not unreasonable for it to be lard.