Not to disclose the ingredients?

[Sparklingred]

My friend just got back from abroad and brought us some biscuits. They were super tasty and really buttery. DP ended up eating most of them.

When I wanted to bin the packet, I noticed they had lard in them. DP doesn’t eat pork for religious reasons. He’s not super religious otherwise, but that’s the one thing he sticks to.

Now I don’t know whether to tell him. I feel bad keeping it from him, but he’s already eaten them, and I’m worried he might get upset or blame my friend. She definitely didn’t mean any harm. She’s not the type to check ingredients, and honestly, we didn’t expect biscuits to have lard either.

YABU - tell him
YANBU - don’t tell him

If he asks what? I know I've eaten them now without checking but did you read the ingredients on those biscuits for me?

He's a grown up - it's up to him to check ingredients if he's so bothered.

Was waiting for the he is an abuser type answer lol Def didn't disappoint

No point at all

It is his responsibility to check any label of food if he has dietary restrictions. My sister is veggie and will check all labels for things like gelatine.

This is on him, not you. Lard can be from beef or pork, some are labelled as such but probably not those biscuits although I am sure a google may help you. I check the ingredients list of any foods I am buying when I will be feeding my sister.

Yes if I had dietary restrictions I would read the label of anything that I was eating. My son is a vegetarian and I have to read the labels of everything that I cook for him to make sure that it's something he can actually have.

Surely unless it’s a child, then the person who has intolerances, allergies or doesn’t eat certain foods due to religious reasons, should be the one checking the ingredients and making sure it’s ok for them to eat.

I would have assumed he read the ingredients and was ok with eating them or wasn’t that bothered about whether they were ok for him to eat.

If he obviously doesn’t care then why should you.
So no I definitely wouldn’t tell him.

As he's not 'super' religious I don't think any harm is done - whether he gets to know the ingredients or not.

Any Muslim or Jew who would feel bad about eating a pork product would be extra vigilant about what they eat. Observant people understand that some sort of fat goes into biscuits.

I would tell him.

Absolutely nothing for you or your friend to worry about. It wasn’t some secret, he didn’t look so he didn’t care enough to know. But he should’ve had an inkling when they were so tasty. Pigs are tasty!

I wouldn't mention it.. I told my Muslim friend that Nightnurse which is now not available had alcohol in it and it was the only thing that helped him sleep with a toddler. He was cross he couldn't have it anymore

Say nothing. If he ever finds another packet or asks someone to get them again, you can suddenly remember you forgot to tell him the recipe has changed and they're no longer vegetarian. I say that as a vegetarian who would be raging I'd eaten something like that and think I'd be happier not knowing.

Beef lard is far more common than pork lard.

I think it depends what sort of person he is. Would he rather know or not?

I’m vegan and would want to know if I’d eaten something that wasn’t vegan. My partner knows me well enough to know that I’d want to know. Only you can say whether your partner would feel the same.

This. My friend has a serious allergy. If she is bought food as a gift she checks the label before she eats it. The onus is on the person with the restriction to work out what they can and can't eat.

I’m vegetarian and avoid animal fat. I would be able to tell as soon as I put something in my mouth if it had lard in it and I’d spit it out. He clearly isn’t too bothered. What good would telling him do?

A friend brought me some biscuits from abroad with beef fat in. Luckily I noticed and made out ide eat them later. But, if I was your husband I would probably not want to know. It's not going to achieve anything other than cause upset.

He is not a child so it is his responsibility to check. You could tell him if you wanted to teach him that lesson but I wouldn't bother.

and I’m worried he might get upset or blame my friend.

Oh, give over!

He has a pick & mix approach to his religion from what you say, so no real harm done!

FGS buck up OP

By the way, if he is Muslim the teaching is that if you accidentally eat pork you are forgiven as God knows you didn't know.

Nothing gained from telling him.

I believe lard is pork and dripping is beef

So I initially voted don’t tell him, but having reread your post I’m not so sure. You say you’re worried about his reaction and that he might blame your friend. That is concerning. No one expects lard to be in biscuits, but since he’s the one avoiding pork it’s very much his responsibility to check. I think I’d tell him so that he can be aware of this in future and check ingredients on similar products. Feeling you can’t tell him because you’re worried about how he will react and who he will blame is a far bigger problem than him accidentally eating some lard.

My DM used to talk in Proverbs and Maddeningly (because I could always find a way to counteract them) I find myself remembering them and they drove me mad because they were not, as she supposed, actual facts, but she would have said

"What the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve over."

and also

"Eaten Bread is soon forgotten."

Sorry, that's not right. Lard is from pork, tallow is from beef.