To find it weird that smacking kids is still normal?

[autienotnaughty]

Obviously it doesn’t happen as much as it use to and it’s thankfully mostly frowned upon but there’s stil the “a smack never hurt me” people around. If you just stop and think, grown adults hitting children half their size and hurting them. Really it’s abhorrent. Whilst I understand there’s always evil people who want to hurt children, smacking was normal and done by people who are not considered a risk to children

Totally agree with you like anyone ever says ‘Oh I’m so grateful I was smacked growing up it really helped me become a better person.’ It was taken too far, used for every frustration and there are so many other methods of discipline available, that the older I get the less I understand why it was a very normal part of life. I think it causes more harm than good. Violence does seem to be much more prevalent nowadays but I’m not sure if it is or if it’s much more documented and recognised now. When I was little though you had to actually see stuff in every day life, where kids today have access to media and technology meaning they can see stuff all over the place and I think parents forget to vet that as much and make sure everything is age appropriate. A lot of people defend smacking saying kids today are more aggressive and violent not thinking about the sources they’re seeing this behaviour. Besides treating people the way you want to be treated is my kind of vibe. I teach mine it’s not ok for me to do to them anything I wouldn’t like them to do to me x

I don’t think it is normal anymore, it’s illegal in Scotland and Wales (not sure about NI). Hopefully England will do the same soon.

It's not normal, why do you think it is?

It's not even slightly normal. I don't know anyone who does it or anyone who thinks it's normal. There are weird people on the extremes of literally all behaviours and belief - that doesn't mean that it's normal.

I don't think it's 'normal' at all. It's not something anyone in my social circle or family would consider acceptable. I appreciate that it will be normalised within some families and communities, but I think it is widely considered morally questionable now.

The fact that it is still legal in England is indefensible given that there is now a wealth of evidence that smacking is psychologically damaging and does not even have the desired impact of improving behaviour. Hopefully we will follow Scotland and Wales and outlaw it very soon.

It's basically an adult assaulting a child.

It certainly isn't still normal. Not where I'm from anyway, and I love in a rough working class town.

I havent heard anyone say anything like this in about 20 years. I really can't think that this is in any way still considered to be a normal PoV.

It’s not normal. I don’t know anyone who smacks their kids, and I’ve never witnessed anyone smacking their kids. It’s something people are very negative about in my experience.

I don't think it is normal.

A few people with outdated views doesn't mean it's normal. You don't see/hear people threaten to smack their children in public any more, or see it happening. If you did see it happening most people would be shocked. I remember the whole room going into a shocked silence when a mum smacked her toddler's hands (repeatedly and quite hard) at a toddler group and that was about 15 years ago! So I think it has not been normal in the UK for a long time, except perhaps among certain social demographics. OTOH about 25 years ago I think it was seen as normal, even though it wasn't considered excellent parenting. I remember comedians joking about "why parents take their children to the supermarket to smack them". That wouldn't make a lot of sense as a joke now.

Maybe depends where you live? Where I live I hear people threatening to smack their kids often

Smacking kids is not normal and hasn’t been for decades.

It Is definitely not normal in my circle.
Although I live in Scotland where it is illegal, even before that it would not have been the done thing.

I never hear anyone threatening to smack their children either. I know there are children who sadly
suffer abuse but I really don’t believe the smacking of children in general
for bad behaviour is common now.

Christ! Where do you live?! I haven't heard anyone actually threaten that since I was a child.

I’ve never seen it but… I hear it fairly regularly on the morning commute, lots of very stressed parents trying to get their kiddies to school on public transport. No, it’s not a particularly nice area of south London.

Horrible. And believe me, my three year old has driven me to the brink of madness on many an occasion but I couldn’t bear him to think i’d lamp him. I actually looked it up the other day, after hearing someone say it, and it’s still legal to smack your children in England if you don’t use force intended to cause injury or harm or some weird loophole like that.

Rough part of South London .. I've heard mum's from my kids school threatening to smack them.

We might live in the same locality as I’ve heard it too.

Not normal round here… I’m sure children are still being hit but I can’t think of anyone we know who would consider it part of normal discipline for a child.

We never smack our kids (2 and 4).
I was smacked as a child and while I don't think it did me any major damage, I think it was a product of the time (90s) and it's better not to. Other forms of discipline take longer but are better overall.

In my circles, the “never did me any harm” people are usually not talking about smacking, as much as they are talking about unruly (or worse) behaviours. It’s a simplistic response. Even the fact that people feel compelled to justify themselves indicates how unacceptable it is.

I think we’ve made enormous progress in a very short time, because it was not only routine, but encouraged in living memory. But I agree op that it’s baffling that people can’t just work out for themselves that it’s not ok for bigger, stronger people to hurt smaller ones. I find it shocking listening to some American media, particularly parenting podcasts, where it’s often discussed casually. And worse- eg face slapping, “popping a kid in the mouth” for mild swearing, spanking, or using spoons, belts or actual purpose made paddles . Any Facebook or you tube videos of misbehaving kids, or gentle parenting videos always have tons of comments advocating physical violence. Even the fact that those sorts of comments and likes stand is quite weird to me.

Never heard it. Never done it. Only time I’ve seen it in 30 y was in Spain 20 years ago. My son was about 4 at the time and horrified

I was smacked in the 1970s. I don’t think it did do me any particular harm.

That doesn’t think I mean it isn’t harmful generally. And I would never ever lift a hand to my own children.

My own parents would be appalled if I’d smacked my kids - things have moved on in the last 45 years.

I distinctly remember being smacked twice as a child, once hard on the leg by my mum when I was being fussy about the food she’d served up (this was the 90’s, it didn’t fly to be picky about what was in front of you ) and once on the bottom by my grandad for crawling across an antique sofa at his house when I was about 3/4.

Can’t imagine either that response to either incident occurring these days but it wasn’t unusual then. My poor friend had his mouth washed out with soap once for swearing, and the mum was almost boastful of the fact that she’d used that level of discipline towards it. A lot of ‘well he’ll know not to do it again!’ responses from other parents. You’d be on the phone to SS if you heard that someone had done that now.

I remember being shaken & smacked by my mother when I was only about 5 because I was scared of being taken to the doctor.

60 years later I can still remember her angry face and the feeling of misery & shame because I had displeased her.

It is a really destructive thing to do in terms of your relationship with a child

Totally agree

I remember getting hit repeatedly around my head with a shoe. I didn't know why. Must've made my mum feel better for a minute or two. I’d even get hit for spilling a drink.