To say MIL not sleeping on new sofa when it arrives?

[Starry4321]

We have 2 bed home with a young toddler (crib her room, no spare bed) so space is tight. When MIL comes to visit (5 hours away) she normally sleeps on sofa with bedding with her dog. It’s a big comfy sofa and she has always stated she prefers that over the blow up bed option we also offer. For the first time in almost a decade we have a new sofa arriving Saturday. It’s a light colour and quite expensive. I said to DH today when MIL comes to visit I think its best we look at some sort of pop up style bed I can set up in living room for her with bedding instead of sleeping on new sofa. Particularly as dog will also be sleeping with her. He got annoyed and said he wants her to sleep on new sofa and said I am over complicating things. MIL even said oh brilliant, new sofa, can’t wait to sleep on it!

I just don’t went the new sofa being ruined basically! More than happy to make an alternative bed a comfy option for her to stay. AIBU?

Would a sofa bed not have been the answer?

I don't think you can stop this but you can definitely get a decent protective cover or some kind of cheap but functional throw and put it on and make the bedding up before she and the dog arrive.

You might find that the new one is a bit stiff and she doesn't enjoy sleeping on it as much as the old comfy one. In which case she might appreciate the offer for a camp bed etc for next time.

I wouldn't want anyone kipping on my sofa either, I'm surprised your MIL is happy to do so. I totally get what you're saying regarding being concerned about it becoming misshapen etc, your DH should understand your concerns and support you with suggesting another option.

It’s your sofa. It’s not unreasonable IF it’s going to make you unhappy for her to sleep on it. It’s a big purchase and one you obviously place a lot of value on.

I wouldn’t be keen either, especially re the dog. Your best bet is a proper sofa cover you can put on when she and the dog visit. Add a mattress protector and a sheet (possibly superking size flat sheet) covering as much as the sofa as possible overnight. That should negate any possibility of smelly dog infiltrating the new sofa.

Because it’s her sofa and her house??

I mean she’s sleeping on it with bedding. How’s she going to ruin it, is she incontinent?

It was more the sagging seat cushions over time I was worried about as that’s not as easily fixed as a mark

Maybe if it was slept on every night that might become an issue, but a few nights occasionally isn't going to have much effect. I speak from the position of having a mil who sleeps on the sofa.

Even if mil or dog don't sleep on the settee it would be difficult to keep the dog off it during the day - if that's his usual place. Suggest washable covers or dog stays at home.

Me, I did 😂 I had very romantic, unrealistic ideas of what parenthood and family life would look like - which actually having a family (followed by partner walking out) soon remedied! That sofa was a wreck within a couple of years, and never mind people sweating into it, the number of times my offspring peed on it was horrendous 🤢

MIL - ok to sleep on sofa with covers/throws

Dog - Ugh no way ever ever ever would I have a dog anywhere near my sofa, and it's not a new one either. Good lord, the hairs, the smells, the farts, the dribbles (that's also from the MIL lol, but she's human!). Dog a big fat no.

Maybe others are ok with it, and maybe you are too OP, but the thought of dog on my sofa makes me want to boak.

Screw that! No way would I let a stinky dog on a new sofa

Get a king size mattress protector and put it on the sofa. If mum’s in the room, the dog will be on the sofa so protect it.

Hi op,

I get it. You have a new thing and you don’t want to share ahah! Honestly I think you will struggle with MIL not sleeping on it because…well…it isn’t your couch that should win against someone. Against the dog, yes.

So compromise, MIL can go on but the dog goes down. With any chance, she will absolutely want to sleep with dog and then you can both put them somewhere else.

Our settee is also regularly slept on and it was bought when dd2 was newborn. Before that we had large floor cushions. Dd2 is 32!

As someone else said, big elasticated cover and I'd add to that be saying possibly a mattress pad that covers the seat and back. My dog wouldn't stay on the floor as she's always slept on my bed, it's not as easy as just saying no dog. We have a waterproof sheet on our sofa, covered by a thick washable blanket as we have wet dogs etc climb onto it and it's lasted well.

I'm with you OP, no way would I want someone's night sweats and smelly dog odour on my brand new sofa!!

I think in hindsight, you should have just had the seat cushions restuffed and waited until you moved into a bigger house before purchasing a lovely new sofa!

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing I am a MiL and dgm and honestly don't mind where I sleep when I visit my family. I am not a young dgm and at 60 still have 7 years to retirement. Both dd1 and dd2 have very comfortable guest rooms but I think its their mils who have been catered for as they know I'm not fussed.

Since you knew she would be coming to stay, why on earth didn't you buy a top of the range sofa bed or a futon? I've got a futon I've had 25 years and when I lived in a one-bedroomed flat, that's where visitors slept. It's short sighted to buy a sofa that isn't designed to be slept on when you have so little space.

Research sofa covers and get a waterproof one. Useful for sick kids/teens/adults too. You might also look at a cut to size foam topper that could go on it too, to spread any weight further (if you're worried about damaging the cushions). Sell it as extra comfort for MIL and dog, but it's also an additional barrier between the smelly dog and the sofa.

Dribbling

As well as the stretch cover, which another pp has already suggested (vg idea), I'd also invest in a huge dog-blanket to keep over the sofa the whole time MIL's friendly-but-smelly dog is on the premises. "Belt And Braces".

I love (other people's) dogs, especially outside in the park. But dogs smell. I wouldn't want any of my soft-furnishings being imbued with that unmistakable dog-smell. Ew. No.
Make sure everything covering your new sofa can easily be thrown in the washing machine. All should be fine.
You'll need throws & covers to protect your new sofa from toddler-accidents, in any case.

Well we recently purchased a new big comfy sofa so that we can sleep on it with our elderly dog who can no longer make it upstairs to the bedroom. We have covered it with throws so there’s no damage done. And it’s comfy! Put throws or blankets over it and there’s no issue.

Give the dog a bath!

Get a cover for it. It’s also quite reasonable to say no dogs on the furniture.