To say MIL not sleeping on new sofa when it arrives?

[Starry4321]

We have 2 bed home with a young toddler (crib her room, no spare bed) so space is tight. When MIL comes to visit (5 hours away) she normally sleeps on sofa with bedding with her dog. It’s a big comfy sofa and she has always stated she prefers that over the blow up bed option we also offer. For the first time in almost a decade we have a new sofa arriving Saturday. It’s a light colour and quite expensive. I said to DH today when MIL comes to visit I think its best we look at some sort of pop up style bed I can set up in living room for her with bedding instead of sleeping on new sofa. Particularly as dog will also be sleeping with her. He got annoyed and said he wants her to sleep on new sofa and said I am over complicating things. MIL even said oh brilliant, new sofa, can’t wait to sleep on it!

I just don’t went the new sofa being ruined basically! More than happy to make an alternative bed a comfy option for her to stay. AIBU?

A sofa is an expensive object to replace and not one easily replaceable...OneGiddyDuck

New or old i wouldn't be allowing any dog on my sofa, stand your ground on that one, bed with dog or sofa no dog, they are her options.
If she picks sofa i agree with a PP about a mattress cover over the cushions.

Sofas aren't cheap and it's perfectly reasonable not to want a dirty, smelly dog clambering over something new.

MIL sleeping on it is fine, but also perfectly reasonable to say that the dog needs to stay off it.

I’d just buy a single fold up bed with mattress, I wouldn’t want a guest sleeping on my sofa as I just don’t think it’s very hospitable anyway.

I think you should probably cancel the sofa order and look at getting the cushions reshuffled on the old one. We had a great sofa bed in our old house but it didn't fit in our new one when we moved 3 years ago so had to change it. We bought a cream leather one in a charity shop and were talked into buying another smaller one for £20, it needed cleaning and the cushions were a bit thin. We stuffed it with a cut up duvet. It looks fine now and is very comfortable. It was only meant to be temporary but we still have it 3 years later.

@Starry4321 I wouldn't like this on my new sofa either but as your options are few, I would either buy a stretchy sofa cover from Dunhelm and put that over sofa when making up the bed (also good to use during toddler years) or a proper fold up guest bed with mattress but you will need somewhere to store it. The sofa cushions will be fine in terms if sagging. I think the no dog is totally justified and I have a dog.

Is this a sofa bed or just a sofa?

I’m 25 weeks pregnant and having a lot of aches and pains so really need my own bed right now. Prior to this my toddler was in crib in our room as I was still breastfeeding in the night and wasn’t a good sleeper (only just turned 2) . Before toddler born MIL was in a guest bed in our spare room.

We only have two bed house atm - wish we could offer a guest room!

@Starry4321 So why did you buy a sofa bed rather than just a sofa if you were worried about the fact that sleeping on it would make it a less good sofa? We have sofas that do not turn in to beds for this very reason.

Put the toddler back in your room for a couple of nights and give mil a bed

25 weeks pregnant with aches and pains. Prior to this toddler was in a next to me in our room as was still breastfeeding. And prior to toddler being born MIL was in bed in guest room which is now toddlers room.

It’s only a crib in toddlers room, only just turned two. This is an option eventually once ready for a bed.

We sweat out half a pint of sweat every night and people are ok with that sinking into a sofa?

People are weird. Settees aren't meant to be beds. I'd be covering the bugger in plastic.

why didn’t you buy a sofa bed?

Are you looking for a bigger home?
If not perhaps start laying the groundwork now that MIL will no longer be able to stay overnight with dog once you have a baby, as well as 2 adults and a toddler, in your 2-bed flat.

I don't allow people to sleep on my sofa. I provide beds (fold away, blow up, trundle). Sofas are for sitting on, not sleeping.
You sweat more overnight than you would just sitting on a sofa, you also move around and distribute your weight in ways that it isn't designed for.
You're right to put your foot down. Sofas are expensive and should last a decade, no need to speed up the wear and tear.

Another one here who can't understand why you didn't just order a sofa bed, knowing that you had someone staying regularly. I'm with your MiL all the way about inflatable beds, they're horrible.

It’s a two bed house, not flat. We are looking to extend or move but can’t afford to do this until after my mat leave ends.

Omg no freaking way on my brand new sofa 😮 I’d be annoyed at this like WTF! Get a flat fold up double chair bed thing from Argos and added mattress toppers if you wanna make it seem luxurious.

I have slept on mine (once for a year) with and without dogs and its now in its 30th year.

So why aren’t you buying a sofa bed so that your MIL can stay more comfortably? Or putting a full size bed in the toddler’s room for her and bringing the toddler in with you when she stays? Why aren’t you making an effort to accommodate her properly instead of just saying it’s not possible in a 2 bed house? It is possible, you just need to plan for it properly. Plenty of people find airbeds uncomfortable to sleep on, especially as they get older. Once you get past 40 your back can get very particular about sleeping surfaces. If she’s old enough to be a grandma she’s old enough to be shown some consideration for her comfort. Unless she’s actually horrible and you are justified in discouraging her from visiting, which is a very different matter and something you should have mentioned earlier in the thread.

We would never let our mother sleep on a sofa because we always give her our bed. It’s shocking that so many don’t!

I seem to be in the minority here OP but I see where you are coming from and agree with you. I wouldn't want someone sleeping (and sweating) over my new sofa, especially with the dog! We've all got our quirks and this would be one of mine too!

In that case you'll need to ask DH to find some dog-friendly hotels/B&Bs nearby and tell his mum that she'll need to stay there after baby is born.

Theres no way I'd have overnight guests in a 2-bed place with a toddler and a baby - let alone a guest with a dog!

How long does she stay for..is it just overnight occasionally?