AIBU to tire of moral superiority around meals?

[Spinmerightroundbaby]

I think if women/mothers have the time to spend cooking nutritious meals and enjoy doing it, that’s a beautiful thing. I have noticed though, there’s a tendency just lately for judgement towards parents who sometimes opt for frozen foods, takeaways or less healthy options.

AIBU to think that as long as there is a balance and your family isn’t on KFC every day, people should keep snooty attitudes to themselves as the odd frozen meal or microwave dinner isn’t a big deal? Especially if it means you have more quality time with your children rather than fussing about in the kitchen? Especially for working mothers too who are generally time poor and low energy.

It just feels like it’s the whole BF versus formula feeding disagreement but it’s become a bit more prevalent (in my locality at least) and I find it a bit tiresome. To me it feels like mostly now, this isn’t even about women wanting to do right by their children, it is about perception. They want to be perceived as ‘good’ mothers when children care more about quality time with their parents.

We have reduced takeaways, but do air fryer teas at least twice a week, and have absolutely no shame in that.

Tonight’s was home made. But it was home made on Saturday when I could be bothered.

Quick meals are fine I think but KFC etc are garbage. Fine once every few months or something but you can knock up an omelette, beans on toast etc far quicker and cheaper than KFC.

I do think the people who get all uppity about citric acid in tinned tomatoes need to get out more though.

There's a balance. Feeding your children nutritious food that isn't full of crap is pretty important.

I don’t know anyone who’d comment or have issue with the odd freezer tea or occasional takeaway.

I do know people who think beige food, pot noodles and takeaways are a normal way to eat every night, and while I would never comment, yes I’d inwardly think it wasn’t great. Sometimes it’s the best that can be done in people’s circumstances (homelessness, disabilities etc), but I do also think some people have a somewhat warped idea of a typical healthy diet.

It’s not that time consuming for most adults in normal circumstances to cook an omelette or a stir fry and I’m not buying that for most people having to make a simple dinner is a significant reduction in the quality time they could spend with their kids - cook with the kids!

Ain't that the truth (re the citric acid I mean).

Honestly I couldn't give a rat's ass at this point what anyone thinks about my DCs diets. Both autistic with different food issues, takeaways don't happen but there is a fair degree of premade/ processed food involved because if it's not a "safe food" they simply won't eat it.
I like cooking so I'd love to be "fussing around the kitchen" making things they enjoy but that is not my reality, I make nice things for me and DH and I make whatever I can for DC

Ready meals - no for us. But the kids love the occasional fish finger wrap with a potato waffle. And some cucumber and lettuce to balance it out.

Quick dinners after clubs are more likely to be scrambled egg on toast/pasta and pesto with sweetcorn and chicken (usually have some in the fridge), frozen dumplings in the steamer or even porridge.

I don’t like ready meals though, so the kids have never eaten them and now won’t.

Agreed. Most takeaways are total shite. KFC being one of the very worst!

We don't cook meals with too many ingredients but every night we have chicken or fish with various vegetables. Obviously I'm working so I'm not cooking lunch either. But ! Because my husband insists on buying fresh , his food budget has been crazy recently. He doesn't want to change it, so I let him get on with it and save some money just in case this organic extravaganza ruins his finance

YANBU. It’s not a recent thing, though, my eldest is 17 and judging was around long before she turned up!

I don't think we shouldn't normalise eating poorly. I'm not one of the cooking from scratch people, but I'd like to be. Processed food is really bad for you and should not be eaten regularly, that's just a fact, there's nothing morally superior about it.

A lot of take-away are just not very good, apart from being unhealthy. And do you even know what’s in them.

in the time I heat up a bunch of ready-meals or frozen food I can rustle up a meal.

Planning helps: batch-cooking protein and carbs, making a week’s worth of salad dressing, using bagged salad and frozen veg, keeping it simple and using herbs, spices and ‘ethnic’ sauces for flavour.

Well, I guess there’s a lot of concerns at the mo around UHPFs so that’s probably where a lot of it is coming from.

Where are you seeing these comments? I can’t imagine commenting on the dinners of anyone I know unless they were feeding the family ready meals every other day or something like that.

I feel a lot of sympathy for parents who are working and have little time. However a child's diet is very important and we have a big problem with obesity. In fact, in some areas, Drs are seeing children who are both obese and have malnutrition.

Putting together a healthy meal needn't be time consuming or expensive but you need to know what you're doing. I'd be in favour of free or low cost cooking classes that teach the basics and pressure on supermarkets for better deals on healthy food.

Putting together a healthy meal needn't be time consuming or expensive but you need to know what you're doing. I'd be in favour of free or low cost cooking classes that teach the basics and pressure on supermarkets for better deals on healthy food.

This.

Simple fresh good is quick and easy.

Salmon steaks
Chicken breasts
Steaks
Stir fry
Plain white fish
Turkey steaks

New potatoes
Cous cous
Rice
Pasta

Salads
Vegetables
Roasted veg

Good olive oil
Lemon juice
Fresh herbs

Why does ot matter what others think i feed my child thr wsu I want what others think is irrelevant so maybe people should start parenting and get on with it and stop parenting by social media or wherever else people are feeling judged by

We are the parents so need to act like it

Nothing wrong with quick meals, plenty of fresh food is quick but ready meals and more processed foods should be very limited in our diets, they simply are bad for us. If you need to feed your family fast just chop up potatoes toss in oil and bung in the oven or airfryer, meanwhile cut carrots into batons and broccoli into florets and microwave in a microwave steamer (fine to opt for frozen vegetables, they can have higher nutritional value!) and pan fry fish, chicken or whatever you like, not in breadcrumbs, the raw stuff. This is cheaper than buying microwave meals and far cheaper than takeaway food.

another quick idea if you wfh especially is to throw a whole chicken in to roast and serve with salad and couscous

You can still do quick meals with some healthy additions like a side salad or some veggies

Part of being a good parent is feeding your children well. Giving them utter crap and upf’s under the guise of ‘spending more time together’, is in fact, laziness.

Edited to add - I’m not talking making your own pasta and yogurt levels of feeding well. Just normal.

So long as your DC are not overweight or malnourished why worry what others say?

Eat as healthy as you can with the resources you have, be that money, time, energy.

I enjoy cooking when I have time and we choose to not eat a lot of processed food or fast food due to health reasons (history of bowel cancer in parents on both sides) and cost. We eat a lot of fish, veg and fruit, tinned beans and pulses. I don't judge anyone for their choices, just as I wouldn't expect anyone to judge me for mine.
DCs now at uni/just graduated, when they're home our meals are generally cooked from scratch (ish) every night. Stuff like pasta, tacos, grilled chicken and salad, roast dinners, poke bowls. Maybe once every couple of months we have an Indian takeaway. DCs do have some fast food but that's their choice as young adults.

Agree… what goes into their bodies is pretty bloody important. Especially because it’s really not that hard to not feed them crap. Like homemade macaroni cheese and a big bowl of frozen peas takes about 20 mins start to finish and is surely better than a frozen meal?

Also don’t buy the statement about spending quality time. Kids can and should be doing jobs in the kitchen so they don’t grow up to be adults who can’t feed themselves or their families healthy food. Our DC are generally desperate to be given big helper jobs in the kitchen.

I think feeding your children nutritious food, of the best quality you can afford, is really really important in terms of their health. I don’t think regularly eating fast food/beige food/ready meals should be normalised.