To give up contraception at age 52?

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AIBU to think that I can give up on contraception at the age of 52? Or perhaps this is more a WWYD?

We've used condoms since conception of DD 20 years ago. DH is now not getting on well with condoms (understandable at his age - early 60s) so we'd like to stop, but the very last thing I need is an unwanted pregnancy.

It feels ridiculous to be worrying about contraception at my age, but NHS says you need contraception until 55 unless you've gone a year without periods. I've been on HRT for a few years and still bleed, so it's likely I'm peri still as otherwise I probably wouldn't bleed on the type I'm on. Really can't face changing anything hormonal so don't want to do Mirena or anything like that as I've only just found stability with the HRT I'm on and hated being on the pill when I was younger. WWYD?

YABU - keep going with the condoms
YANBU - no contraception necessary

I had a neighbour who got pregnant in her early 50s, 20 years after her supposedly last child was born. She didn't realise for 4 months as she was convinced she was menopausal. They went through with the pregnancy, their son has some developmental delay. He's now on his teens, both parents are retired and absolutely exhausted.

I think it's incredibly rare to get pregnant at your age, but not impossible. I honestly would carry on using contraception until you've gone a year without a period. Which in my case was 58. Luckily DH had a vasectomy after DC2 was born.

Your GP can do a blood test to see if you’ve reached menopause. It’s done twice, 6 weeks apart. I had one recently, it was a definite no so there was no point in having the second one done

A colleagues family member has just had her first child age 52 🫣

That's the kind of reply I need! Just off out to buy another packet... 😂

Could you use a female condom or diaphragm instead? I know they aren’t as reliable, but you also have a much lower risk of conception, so better than nothing.

I probably wouldn’t risk going completely without contraception at your age, unless you have definitely reached menopause.

I didn't know that - I'll look into it (although one of the reasons I'm posting here is that it's quicker than a response from my GP by about 6 months 🙄)
Thanks for the reply

This might help you decide

Fertility and the menopause | My Menopause Centre https://share.google/xHmb7Vpyd4XbgtCrl

I'll do some research, thank you!

You can have a non-hormonal coil. I used to have that.

There's 20 years difference between me and my brother (with no other kids in between) for this very reason. My mum was absolutely bloody mortified. Proceed with caution OP.

Will do - thanks for the warning xx

Your chance of conceiving at 52 is so minuscule that it’s practically unheard of (except for on here of course, where it’s quite the norm apparently)

It's extremely unlikely that you're still capable of carrying a baby to term (although not, obviously, impossible). However, that doesn't mean that you are incapable of conceiving, possibly several times, and having early miscarriages, which could be quite physically and mentally difficult.

It comes down to what chances you are willing to take and whether they are worse than condoms to you. I assume there's a reason why your H never pursued vasectomy in the twenty years since you last tried to conceive...

I'm a midwife so my work colours my view significantly. I would look in to alternative contraception because of the (very rare) surprise babies I have delivered to women in their 50's! They are very few and far between but it does happen.

DH tried to get a vasectomy when I was 40 as I knew I definitely didn't want a baby post 40 (each to their own but not for me). GP wouldn't allow it and turned to me instead and said 'but the great news is that you can have a Mirena instead!' - ooh lucky me! Hence condoms for 12 years...

Thank you! Will do...

Anyone on here tried a female condom or diaphragm?

Why can’t he get a vasectomy now?

Given that we were refused before I don't think he'd be given one now. Also doesn't seem worth it with only 3 years to go

I think you need to way up the actual percentage risk against how you'd feel taking the abortion pill and using pregnancy tests monthly. I'm same age similar position and trying to figure this out at the moment also.

I've never heard of a man being refused a vasectomy before! Learn something new every day!

I honestly think the GPs in my area get a bonus for every mirena they fit, they are so pro them. GP was very anti-vasectomy and told DH a few horror stories to put him off (never seen him go so green!) and then turned to me and offered mirena. I've had a few friends also be turned down

I assume the GP refused as you were both much younger. Different kettle of fish now. And it might not only be another 3 years. If your husband is struggling with condoms then he needs to find another alternative.

I'm a worrier, so I guess I'll have to think of something, especially after all the stories I've just read of 52 year-olds getting pregnant 😂

I asked dh to get a vasectomy as soon as ds3 was born as I get insanely broody in the newborn stage. He said the gp refused because baby was under 6 months old. But I suspect dh wasn't very insistent as others at the same gp did have vasectomy with a newborn. When dc4 turned up the midwife delivering offord to take dh into the car park with two bricks. I kid you not! How insistent was your dh?