To give up contraception at age 52?

[TemporaryNC1234]

AIBU to think that I can give up on contraception at the age of 52? Or perhaps this is more a WWYD?

We've used condoms since conception of DD 20 years ago. DH is now not getting on well with condoms (understandable at his age - early 60s) so we'd like to stop, but the very last thing I need is an unwanted pregnancy.

It feels ridiculous to be worrying about contraception at my age, but NHS says you need contraception until 55 unless you've gone a year without periods. I've been on HRT for a few years and still bleed, so it's likely I'm peri still as otherwise I probably wouldn't bleed on the type I'm on. Really can't face changing anything hormonal so don't want to do Mirena or anything like that as I've only just found stability with the HRT I'm on and hated being on the pill when I was younger. WWYD?

YABU - keep going with the condoms
YANBU - no contraception necessary

How about a diaphragm? I tried it. It's ok. Google Caya.

Haven't had much sex since sadly but if I remember correctly, it was fine and no hormones. Effective enough with low odds I think.

Im facing the same dilemma @TemporaryNC1234
Im 52 I went on the mini pill in October 2021 Waited for my period so i could start it but period never came so started it anyway. Apart from a bleed while i was on HRT for three months last year, .................nothing.
Partner is almost 69. and orgasms but doesnt ejaculate. He has type 2 diabetes He was told by a doctor years ago that he "fires blanks" but doctors have been wrong about this sort of thing. Can i canvass MN opinion here. Is it safe for me to stop the mini pill? Have no idea whether ive gone through the menopause or the mini pill has stopped them

If you're still bleeding regularly then it's obvious you haven't reached menopause. No blood test required.

I had a new Mirena fitted at your age. Pregnancy is very unlikely, but it's just not worth the risk to me.

I worked with a man who got a vasectomy in his twenties because he wanted the casual sex without the complication of the CSA knocking on his door. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I used a diaphram succesfully when I was in my 30s and very fertile. The fitted type I used dont seem to be available as much now, but you can get something called a caya which (I think) doesn't need fitting.

Easy enough to figure out how to use - if you have ever used a menstural cup its a similar enough idea.

Whilst it’s rare to conceive at your age, you need to consider what you would do if you were to conceive. Personally I think I would have been horrified but I’d already happily had 4 healthy children. It wouldn’t have been fair on them.
If you think you could cope with a child in the fairly unlikely scenario or indeed would seek a termination then as long as you feel you could cope that’s fine.
Personally I’d be looking at a coil or diaphragm.

Do not risk this. It's always "just the once". You've managed this far OP...

There wasn’t a moments question from doctors re DH having the snip here. DS was 3 weeks.

@TemporaryNC1234 a friend was only telling me a few weeks back about her 55 year old cleaner who found out she was 7 months pregnant who had presumed she was finally in menopause so not worth the risk. Her children are now 27 years apart apparently and she had not at all taken it well.

My husband had a vasectomy within days of my last child being born, the GP had a cancellation and when he called into enquire, he was offered the surgery then and there. Poor man, I still remember the shock on his face. However we were in our late 30s with 4 children and we knew we were done.

Personally, I wouldn't take the risk of an unwanted pregnancy and I would suggest DH gets the snip. That simple procedure, vs 3 more years of condoms?

The GP just shut down that conversation completely so insisting didn't feel like an option at the time. I'm not going to pursue it now though - it seems daft this late in the day.

Thanks, I'll check it out x

My son just had a vasectomy aged 33 and no children so your husband should be able to get one, maybe privately? Or see a different GP if there’s more than one at your practice.

Yes, good point. We're not getting on well with condoms though, so we will need an alternative

My friend who is a GP told me the other day that women in their late 40s - early 50s make up a very significant number of women opting for terminations for this exact reason; you think you're in menopause and the risk of pregnancy is extremely low, then it turns out you get pregnant because you were having unprotected sex. Best not to risk it.

Yet if i walked into a doctors surgery at age 52 and said i was trying for a baby they would laugh in my face

Why don’t you try the non-hormonal coil (as per pp mentioned above)? They can last up to 10 years, but obvs you can just get it removed a year or so after menopause. I had one, and was absolutely fine with it.

If you're still having semi regular periods I guess you do need something. But it's fair it shouldn't be your responsibility any more to take anything or have an IUD etc .

Would he get a vasectomy? If it's that or nothing even close to PIV can take place you'd hope he'd at least consider it.

I gave up at 49. I put a thread on here and was told that my chances were almost zero. No more babies yet. I’m 52 and still bleed every month like bloody clockwork.

My aunt had my youngest cousin at the grand age of 53 😂 hes 18 now and she really struggled. Definitely stock up on condoms!

“Also doesn't seem worth it with only 3 years to go”

3 years to go to what? Is one of you terminally ill?

“all the stories I've just read of 52 year-olds getting pregnant”

Here’s another story. My best friend from school was a menopause mistake. Her mum was 54 when she was born.

Have you considered sterilisation? And please don’t say “there doesn’t seem much point this late in the day”. There is EVERY point in considering it if you don’t want to get pregnant NOW and want to stop using condoms (for whatever reason) or don't want to stop having sex.

Can you get them on the NHS?

NHS says no contraception needed after 55 - as permanent original post.

I feel that it isn't worth either if us getting surgery for the sake of three years. Obviously you don't agree but when you say "please don't say..." to someone it implies they should only say things you agree with!

Thanks everyone - deleting this post now xxxx

Ovulation sticks are expensive. You could try them for a couple of months.
Not sure if they're reliable.
The chances of pregnancy are slim but not impossible.

"NHS says no contraception needed after 55 - as permanent original post."

Yes, I appreciate that but human bodies are not predictable.

Obviously you don't agree but when you say "please don't say..." to someone it implies they should only say things you agree with!

No, actually, I was just re-quoting what you'd said in response to an earlier reply to someone else, for the reason I gave.

I do think you're being a little naïve in thinking the whole menopause thing has a definite and finite timeline though.

I hope you manage to find a solution.