To give up contraception at age 52?

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AIBU to think that I can give up on contraception at the age of 52? Or perhaps this is more a WWYD?

We've used condoms since conception of DD 20 years ago. DH is now not getting on well with condoms (understandable at his age - early 60s) so we'd like to stop, but the very last thing I need is an unwanted pregnancy.

It feels ridiculous to be worrying about contraception at my age, but NHS says you need contraception until 55 unless you've gone a year without periods. I've been on HRT for a few years and still bleed, so it's likely I'm peri still as otherwise I probably wouldn't bleed on the type I'm on. Really can't face changing anything hormonal so don't want to do Mirena or anything like that as I've only just found stability with the HRT I'm on and hated being on the pill when I was younger. WWYD?

YABU - keep going with the condoms
YANBU - no contraception necessary

I used the diaphragm when younger and then had a non-hormonal coil after our second. The coil was really liberating after years of the diaphragm as it required no further action once inserted. From memory (this is all behind me now as I haven’t had a period for 5 years or so), I had slightly increased back ache at the start of a period but that was it. All very manageable.

I used a diaphragm for many, many years. It did a good job of keeping me free of pregnancy and I got very used to putting it in and taking it out. But getting the spermicide to go with it could be quite difficult and I used to get UTIs quite frequently and it was only after our second daughter was born and I was getting a fresh diaphragm that the family planning nurse mentioned they can cause UTIs. I didn’t want to go back to that, so I got a coil fitted.

What levels etc are they checking in this test that confirms post menopause?

Wow. The one man I've ever heard of who got denied a vasectomy.

Copper coil with no hormones works great for me. Also vasectomy?

OP - Are you aware that some HRT can give you a bleed every month? So, even though you still have periods, you might not be ovulating. As others have suggested, a blood test might help you know where you are in menopause terms. Good luck!

Try the diaphragm. It’s a bit tiddly but ticks all your boxes and is zero commitment, so if you try it and find it doesn’t suit you, you can just stop m

Fiddly not tiddly!

Consult your doctor who will advise you on whether or not you are likely to get pregnant and on effective contraception of which there are many types. Or you or husband could be sterilised, then you'd never have to worry.

Another vote for Caya, especially if used with the spermicide it comes with. Don’t bother nowadays though as I’m low fertility anyway so he just pulls out… (#hopeprecumisntathing)

Only if they don't have children and under 40. With children and 40 plus it should just be about how long to wait. You can go private for the same cost of 12 years of condoms, assuming regular condom use.

Mumsnet users always have tbese crazy anecdotes of older women having pregnancies.

"Oh my great aunt had a child at 51! So you never know!"

Honestly, absolute hogwash. Ask yourself, have YOU ever seen a pregnant 50 year old in your life? I bet you 99.9% of midwives haven't either.

Life is way too short to be using condoms in your 50s (in a committed relationship).

I’d be tempted to just avoid fertile days. But I appreciate this may be harder to predict as periods may become more erratic in run up to menopause.

I’m not that far off your age, there’s no way I’d risk it in your situation.

Are you on cyclical HRT, or continuous combined?

My DSis got a diaphragm from the family planning clinic. She had to get “fitted” to make sure she had the right size. She said it was good for “date night” but you have to fit it a few hours in advance (so no spontaneous moments of uninterrupted passion haha).

Have you thought about ultra thin condoms?

Is there any reason why your husband can’t get a vasectomy?

Change of life babies happen! My DH had a vasectomy so no contraception needed on top of that, and no risk of change of life baby.

It does happen. There's a lot of people having babies on this forum mid-40s (sometimes with help), and 50 isn't that far from that. My grandmother was 50ish when she had her last baby. She thought it was the menopause and oops. That child is only 2 years older than I am.

I'm early 50s and wouldn't take the risk myself.

Are you on continous hrt? If not you can change over to continous after a year or two of being on sequential (which may stop your periods)

Do you still ovulate? And do you know when you are ovulating? If so, I would just track by using one of those apps and avoid your most fertile days.

So he was 50, and they refused him a vasectomy? on what grounds?

That doesn't sound very likely to be honest, all the guidance online says the average age for one is 35, why has it not come up in conversation since? Surely that is the best option rather than using condoms or making you go through any hormone related birth control?

You can also go private for vasectomies so it does seem that he didn't try very hard to go down that road, why are you still looking into contraceptives for yourself, when the obvious answer is right there?

That's primarily because reliable contraception exists nowadays.

Trace your own or anyone else's family history and you will find examples of women having babies in their mid-40's and beyond. My great-grandmother being one of them.

If you're on HRT anyway you can have a mirena coil for the progesterone part instead of taking progesterone pills. Then you're killing two birds with one stone, as the mirena will actually double up as a contraceptive and the progesterone part of your HRT.

The GP doesn’t do the vasectomy so all your husband has to do is ask for a referral. How odd that you went with him
for the appointment. I’ve never had a joint appointment with my husband and certainly would not do so for an appointment requesting a referral to a specialist for this.

Didn't want to vote, but l didn't bother with contraception at that point. I was having sporadic periods but just felt I was vanishingly likely to conceive, and my periods stopped completely in the next year.