To give up contraception at age 52?

[TemporaryNC1234]

AIBU to think that I can give up on contraception at the age of 52? Or perhaps this is more a WWYD?

We've used condoms since conception of DD 20 years ago. DH is now not getting on well with condoms (understandable at his age - early 60s) so we'd like to stop, but the very last thing I need is an unwanted pregnancy.

It feels ridiculous to be worrying about contraception at my age, but NHS says you need contraception until 55 unless you've gone a year without periods. I've been on HRT for a few years and still bleed, so it's likely I'm peri still as otherwise I probably wouldn't bleed on the type I'm on. Really can't face changing anything hormonal so don't want to do Mirena or anything like that as I've only just found stability with the HRT I'm on and hated being on the pill when I was younger. WWYD?

YABU - keep going with the condoms
YANBU - no contraception necessary

@TemporaryNC1234 tell him to try again if his last time was 20 years ago?!

Brilliant thank you

There’s no year of using condoms ?you can given a certain # times to ejaculate and go back for a sperm count check. Think it was around 20-30 in 3 mths. And same again if not all clear. Clinic said to my OH the stories of pregnancy post vasectomy are usually when men haven’t gone back to get the count checked to be sure. Draining the tank is important!

Yes so I've discovered! It's like Hotel California 😬

What about an IUD? That will solve the question while also mitigating menopausal symptoms when they start to kick in

Sorry I can’t remember. I had it done to see if I need a new contraceptive implant fitted or not. If both tests came back with what they’re looking for I wouldn’t need a new one.

Not true if the HRT being taken is a cyclical one.

OP - nhs will refuse blood tests as they have no value when you are over 45 (possibly even 43, i can’t recall) as they have little value.

seriously consider mirena coil - best protection, also allows you to drop the progesterone part of oral HrT and go to a no bleed hrt preparation. No periods is so freeing

How many of us are friends with thousands of women? How many of us stare at women's stomachs when we are out and about? How many if us could accurately guess a woman's age just from walking past them in the street? Never be foolish enough to think that if you haven't seen it that it can't be true! My partner's aunt and uncle were still having kids when she was in her late 4O's!

My grandmother was 52 when she gave birth to my mother.

I stopped using contraception at 45 and am now 50. No issues. I rarely have periods anymore and am nearly in menopause. I do occasionally do a pregnancy test but if I were pregnant the chance of delivering a healthy child to term would be tiny, so I'd have an abortion. It's not a decision I'd take lightly and I've never had an abortion, but it's a risk I'm willing to take to be free of contraception. I've tried everything in the past from hormonal (which my body hates) to barrier methods, including the female condom and cap. They've all been awful.

One of you getting sterilised would solve the problem, though if you were going to do that it would have made sense to do it years ago and get more benefit. Vasectomy is the simpler operation, but female sterilisation is pretty straightforward too these days. I had it done at the same time as my last caesarean, one of the best decisions I ever made.

Diaphragm is more effective than people think. It’s not about blocking the sperm from getting through, it’s never going to manage that, it’s about making sure the sperm can’t reach the cervix without coming into contact with spermicide. Spermicide is extremely effective at killing sperm. The two things work together very well. I had a diaphragm for a few years before I had kids, they’re pretty simple easy to use once you’ve had a bit of practice.

Do not stop using contraception unless you want to get pregnant. It might be unlikely, but it does happen. There was a post on here a month or so ago from a lady who had it happen. She had a miscarriage before she’d really worked out what to do, so in the end didn’t have to make a difficult decision, but it was really upsetting for her to go through.

I found the female diaphragm a real mood killer. It's not easy to position all the time. There's no spontaneity with it and you are supposed to wait 30 mins or something after you've inserted it, if I recall correctly. Frankly I'm happy to be been and done by then. 😁

Yes, I don’t understand her ‘too late in the day’ attitude’. And this magic 3 years cut off of fertility.

What about the copper coil if you don't want something hormonal? I would not be taking a chance.

Thank you

It's not magic - it's the NHS advice.

Well this thread has been an eye opener!

I'm 53 and had my last Mirena fitted when I was 45. I was told I could leave it in until after the menopause - although I had no idea when that might be because I never had periods with Mirena, apart from when it'd been there for five years and was due to be replaced I'd have the occasional bleed. It's still there and I'm terrified of getting it removed but that's another thread! I had no bleeding at all with this one after five years and assumed that's because the menopause had happened in the background. No meno symptoms either apart from the odd hot flush about two years ago, again to be expected with Mirena. I did one of those POAS menopause tests two years ago and it was positive. That, and the fact I've been technically without hormonal contraception for three years, made me feel pretty confident I was safe.

After this thread I'm not so sure!

I've done several of those POAS menopause tests over the years. I did one seven years ago and it was positive. I still have regular periods.

😱

Well I'm not having another Mirena, bollocks to that. I've had over three decades of hormonal contraception and I'm done. Plus the last removal/replacement was so painful I just could not do it again. I was so pleased when the doctor said that was my last one.

That said we've been having sex three or four times a week and I've not fallen pregnant yet so hopefully it's okay <clutches at straws>

Pretty sure I’ve missed the menopause symptoms due to being on the pill forever. They wanted me to talk to the pharmacist at my GP’s before issuing the last lot, bit silly ‘Are you for?’ Yes. ‘How’s your blood pressure’. Good. Bearing in mind this was over the phone, they then issued a new batch. I’m 55.

Haven’t read the full thread, just popping off to visit mother in hospital, but why wasn’t your Dh allowed a vasectomy? Seems very unbalanced!

You should have reported your GP for that. Disgusting, misogynistic behaviour.

If you are still having periods I would stick to having some form of contraception because while conceiving in your 50s in unlikely, its not unheard of

That is extremely useful reading, thank you!

10% chance of getting pregnant 😫 gosh I didn’t think it would be that high. Having said that I do know a couple of people who accidentally got pregnant (and had the babies) at 49 and 51. So I will be being careful.

Sorry that 10% is for 50, it’s much lower at 52 supposedly