To give up contraception at age 52?

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AIBU to think that I can give up on contraception at the age of 52? Or perhaps this is more a WWYD?

We've used condoms since conception of DD 20 years ago. DH is now not getting on well with condoms (understandable at his age - early 60s) so we'd like to stop, but the very last thing I need is an unwanted pregnancy.

It feels ridiculous to be worrying about contraception at my age, but NHS says you need contraception until 55 unless you've gone a year without periods. I've been on HRT for a few years and still bleed, so it's likely I'm peri still as otherwise I probably wouldn't bleed on the type I'm on. Really can't face changing anything hormonal so don't want to do Mirena or anything like that as I've only just found stability with the HRT I'm on and hated being on the pill when I was younger. WWYD?

YABU - keep going with the condoms
YANBU - no contraception necessary

Ouf I’m 52 and almost certain I am still ovulating. Do you use an app to track your periods? I do, and it’s clear to me that mid cycle I get cramps, pain on one side etc, which coincide with the ovulation dates on the tracker. I would not risk ditching the contraception yet!

I don't think period trackers/ovulation sticks are much use when your cycle is all over the place with HRT. I don't have anything approaching a regular cycle. I think the suggestions about alternative barrier methods are good ones, so I'm going to pursue those

Copper coil is your friend.

The coil is very invasive.
I'd opt for the bar or injection, minimum invasion or time consuming.

The mini pill might be an option, still a pain to take it daily.

I feel that it isn't worth either if us getting surgery for the sake of three years.

For you it's invasive surgery, but for him it's a very quick outpatient procedure that will be done in about twenty minutes with only local anaesthetic, after which he can get a cab home. DH had his when our second was a baby - on the NHS, and quickly. Go back and ask.

I’m post menopausal and have a bleed on the HRT I’m on - I’m 54 and started peri meno at 43 . I’ve been told the bleed is normal . I was in your position though at 50 and my DH had a vasectomy!

You can’t decide to delete threads on here

😂 Made me giggle

I HATE the fact that they are so small and fiddly

Why not get a cervical cap fitted? BTW my grandmother had a child at your age.

My husband was refused a vasectomy until he was 35 and my youngest was 12 months old.
I really PUSHED to find out why.
apparently is a baby dies, you’re more likely to want to replace it!! … I was horrified! But pushed hard for that answer, which the GP didn’t really want to give.

go back to GP and insist on vasectomy as say husband is getting allergic to condoms. Ok it’s only 3 years till 55 but it’s not like no women get pregnant after 55. They may miscarry.

you need to use contraception for a year with the snip but then you have rest of life to relax and enjoy sex.

go private or avoid the middle of your cycle. You can get blood tests to see if you are still ovulating

YABU - keep going with the condoms
YANBU - no contraception necessary

Haven’t voted as the way you have asked the question and limited the votes to only these two options is utterly ridiculous.

Of course contraception is necessary.

Saw your comments about the GP refusing your OH the snip. Your husband felt icky about it. Boo hoo to him. Please make an appointment with another GP and your husband and request a referral. If he isn’t willing then just stick with condoms. If he doesn’t like it he has hands. Not on you to be taking all the risks.

My DH has just had a vasectomy and we have no children. We don’t want them ever. He had to be quite persistent as we’re childfree but they allowed him to go through with it so I do think it’s worth the ask and your DH looking into it again. They didn’t contact me to check I was okay with it, they just asked him if I was and he said yes. No further follow up or investigation.

The worst that can happen is they tell you no but it’ll stop all worry and stress for a few years. He can say it’s having a negative impact on his marriage bc he can no longer use condoms. I wouldn’t just write it off and shoulder the burden yourself. It’s definitely worth enquiring about imho.

Why didn't your husband get the snip when your family was complete? Seems you've listed all the options which involve you taking hormones etc, if your husband isn't getting on with condoms suggest he gets the snip. If you can't get it on the NHS pay privately, it can't be that much it isn't a long or complex procedure.

Id be really pissed off with that, I had mirena and hated it

Just wanted to mention on this that unless by “abortion pill” you mean actually having abortions as a form of birth control, if you mean the morning after pill, it only stops you from ovulating. So if you have already ovulated you can get just as pregnant as you would have without it. I think that fact is not as widely known as it should be! Also its effectiveness goes down after you pass a certain weight (which most people tend to be over already, like 75kg or something). Just info as you said you’re trying to decide

I think your DH should get the snip

I would go back and ask about the vasectomy again, or ask another doctor for one. It makes most sense,

Is there a chance he was scared of having a vasectomy and didn't really want one.
My DH asked for one when our daughter was almost 2 and the GP. suggested I get the coil (he was 36 at the time). He was very firm and said I didn't want the coil and they agreed to the vasectomy. It's quite a common response to push the responsibility back onto the woman (maybe money or maybe them being permanent) but if a man wants a vasectomy he can get one.
If I may be so bold, I don't think your DH tried very hard.

I wouldn't recommend the diaphragm, my youngest managed to jump that hurdle! I was 38 though.

I'm 50 and find that just not doing it at all is the best method. 😆

Oh heck...let's hope it's healthy and normal. She is going to be exhausted enough as it is. But what a joy to finally get to be a mum - I bet she had written it off.

How about the copper coil? Do they still exist? No hormones. I had it for a year between 2nd and 3rd DC.

This

Is there any reason he hasn't already?

Edited as seen you explored this. Annoying of the GP saying no.

Vasectomy?