To give up contraception at age 52?

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AIBU to think that I can give up on contraception at the age of 52? Or perhaps this is more a WWYD?

We've used condoms since conception of DD 20 years ago. DH is now not getting on well with condoms (understandable at his age - early 60s) so we'd like to stop, but the very last thing I need is an unwanted pregnancy.

It feels ridiculous to be worrying about contraception at my age, but NHS says you need contraception until 55 unless you've gone a year without periods. I've been on HRT for a few years and still bleed, so it's likely I'm peri still as otherwise I probably wouldn't bleed on the type I'm on. Really can't face changing anything hormonal so don't want to do Mirena or anything like that as I've only just found stability with the HRT I'm on and hated being on the pill when I was younger. WWYD?

YABU - keep going with the condoms
YANBU - no contraception necessary

I used the diaphragm many years ago. It's a bit fiddly at first, but you soon get used to it. The only thing to remember is to get checked if you have any significant weight gain or loss as you are likely to then need a different size.

Very unlikely to conceive at your age. Even less likely to carry a pregnancy.

As for the supposed great aunts & grandmas pp’s have mentioned having kids into their late 40s early 50s probably their grandkids as was common back than (didn’t want shame brought on the family) nowadays IVF makes it possible or surrogacy.

Or a 3rd choice: DH gets a vasectomy.
Isn't it a no-brainer?

My dh & I had a joint appointment, not a gp, I think the doctor was a urologist to discuss dh havingva vasectomy. His policy was to have both husband and wife there.

I would ask your dh to go see a doctor again and say he wants a vasectomy.

I cannot think of good reason to deny him.

I'm 53 and on the mini pill. Had regular as clockwork periods till a year and a half ago. In may I had a 2 day period. First in 18 months. That was it. Asked the nurse if I should stop taking the pill and she said God no! You're on it till 55.

My DH had one in his late 20s (we had no children), but his GP accepted that we didn't want children.

My mother was 17 when my aunt was born and remembers it. My aunt is only two years older than me. Definitely my grandmother gave birth around 50. My grandmother was never one to try to hide something like that. When my mother was pregnant with me she offered to look after me so my mother could go to university (she never wanted my mother to marry my father). After a lifetime of babies she figured, "What's one more to care for?" Ancestry also links that aunt as an aunt, so I guess my grandmother actually did give birth to her.

I would be careful and still use a condom or other methods. A nice problem to have in many ways 🤣👏🏻. I hope I have an active sex life when DH and I are older

To be honest me and DO have always used the pull out method and only been pregnant when we planned it, never accidentally

Try a different GP? Why would they have refused it to your husband? My husband got one at 41 after two kids.

I’m 46 I asked dh to get a vasectomy after stopping hormonal contraceptives at 42 (25 years after I started them) he’s not keen so we use condoms. I won’t back down. After 32 years of heavy periods, side effects of the pill/coil/injection, three pregnancies and now peri menopause with menopause to follow I have more than done my bit.

Another with direct second hand experience with natural pregnancy aged 52, hence advice of contraception to 55 or confirmed menopause.

Diaphragm is much less effective than condom
(or female condom where there is only 1% less effectiveness). Not especially recommended by the NHS and more between pregnancies - wanting another DC but ideally not yet.

As PP Diaphragm potentially used it your lower risk situation but NHS only advise with spermicide which is much messier, often difficult to get hold of and can cause localised issues (like irritation), even more likely in peri menopause.

Have tried all and condoms preferable, especially as an established user of them the others will be more disruptive to change to and potentially more issues.

Wow, hope you’ve changed doctors as the misogyny here is stinking.
Vasectomies are very common and low risk. We have a clinic that does many a day in my area.

Was it a natural conception without any help whatsoever though? Highly unusual if it was.

The obvious solution is your DH goes back and insists on the snip! I don’t think they would refuse again. Or you could track your cycle with something like natural cycles app and avoid sex during your fertile window.

I think your husband should be able to pay for a vasectomy privately. Personally I have tried a couple of different coils the worse effects being the copper with heavy periods I had to have it removed. Mirena made me lose my sex drive. Pill is best. I think it’s trial and error for everyone.

Sorry haven’t read the whole thread - I’ve used a female condom and thought they were ok. Well worth a try. I’ve also used diaphragms on and off which are fine too. You get them off Amazon these days, I’m not even sure the NHS offer them.

I gave up contraception at 51 tbh so I’m a bad example…

Diaphragm. Used it for a few years, and didn’t get pregnant. I liked it, but since I’m very fertile, I stopped using it after my last baby, as I wanted something with a higher efficacy rate. Just in case.

We stopped using contraception in my mid 40s. Never had an issue.

There's always one or two miracle baby stories on threads like this but you'll never know if it's true and people don't always know if the parents used any fertility assistance.

Look up the odds of conceiving naturally and the odds are so remote you'd probably have better chance with a lottery ticket.

At school it was drummed in to us how easy it is to get pregnant but look at how many women even in their 30s and early 40s struggle to conceive.

Honestly the papers I’ve read suggest at 50 the risk of natural conception to live birth is 1%. That’s not nothing so it’s worth using something, but a slightly lower efficacy method appears an incredibly reasonable choice.

Your dh could have a vasectomy.

I'm 53, and we use condoms. I think the chances of my getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term are close enough to zero as to be irrelevant, but that doesn't mean that the probability of getting pg and miscarrying is zero and I don't see why I should risk putting my body through that.

Dh offered to get a vasectomy, but seeing as you are supposed to wait for a year before stopping condoms anyway seems pointless. I conceived both my dc after the probability of natural pg was put at 'effectively zero' by medical professionals, so I guess I'm particularly wary.

He should have seen a different GP. My husband went once at 41 and was given one straight away. (2 kids) They didn’t even ask to speak to me. His body his choice, same as it should be for women too!

Thank you 👍