Child’s friend insulted house

[Spicychili]

As heading- my daughter’s 8 year old friend came over to play and kept asking why our house and garden are so small and commenting on it. This is a sore point as most kids at their school have larger houses! I overheard them so didn’t get involved in the discussion. My daughter seemed to brush it off. AIBU to be upset by this or is this normal?

It wasn't an insult, it was factual.

That's an intelligent question.

It does mean something. It means the child is rude and has been brought up in an entitled household where they are not being taught manners, respect and kindness. 🤢

She has to option to teach the child how she expacts the child to behave in HER house. She also had the option to never invite the little madam back again. Thank goodness she doesn't have to parent her. Seems like the child is about 4-5years behind in terms of manners so it would be a hard slog that.

I don't think the child "insulted" your house, if your house was much bigger than hers and she made multiple comments about it being bigger would you consider that an insult? Whilst perhaps not good form on the child's part, I think you are projecting here.

Shes a child. Children say things as they see it and it wasnt said to the parent it was the children talking amongst themselves . She wasnt being nasty . Its only the parent who has the issue because SHE thinks her house is small compared to everyone elses

The child was not misbehaving she simply commented that the house was small. So what? This parent is projecting her own insecurities about her house . No one else cares! Her own child doesnt care its just this woman
Some of these comments are way OTT you nust all have perfect robotic children who only speak when spoken to and never say anything you dont agree with
Its not like the child walked in and said
"Ffs sheila your house is tiny its shit compared to mine , you must be really poor"
She just simply made a comment .

'kept asking why our house and garden are so small and commenting on it.'

The child KEPT asking AND commenting. Rude

Ignore. Children frequently say what they think without understanding it could cause offence.
If it happens again just reply that you all love your house and garden.

Kids at that age know what they are saying, especially as she kept repeating it. I wouldn't have her over again, she sounds like a brat.

P.s. Have you posted before about having a small house and your kid's friends all living in bigger ones, with no shared bedrooms etc? Someone posted something similar a couple of months ago, about their daughter wanting a dressing table in her bedroom but it not being big enough to fit one in. Sorry if it wasn't you!

Not all 8 year olds have perfect social skills.

YABU. It’s an entirely natural comment for an 8 year old to make.

And there we have it....

This is a sore point as most kids at their school have larger houses!

OP'S insecurity.

Nothing to do with a little girl.

Children just say what they observe with less filtering. She may not have realised it could be construed as rude. I had previous comments like this in the past and it didn’t upset me as children will be children.

Here's another example....

I do think the child was repeating her parent's opinion which is why it particularly bothered me

OP's insecurity.

Yet blaming it on a child!
Disgusting.

As long as your house is the fun house- that’s all that matters! My friends always wanted to stay at mine even though it was the poorest and smallest! My parents let us get on with having fun and threw loads of lovely food and snacks our way… it was never a “show home” and I try to do the same with my kids now. 8 year old girls are starting to get judgy sometimes but who cares? It will only get worse but I remember a school friend whose house was (looking back) a disaster- you couldn’t see the floor in any room, but what fun we had. It was loving and funny (actually I think the older kids just fed us crisps!) Do t over think it! My kids sometimes go to their friends houses and report back that the bed was full of crumbs… I’ll always make sure they’ve got clean bedding!

We live in a big(ish) house, 5 beds and four reception rooms. The only thing I care about are which children are kind to DD and make her happy and which parents are friendly to myself and DH. All material things are no where near as relevant.

Well my friends son when he was a similar age thought everyone had the same car as his Dad so went to someone’s house and asked ‘where’s your Range Rover’ luckily they just laughed and said they couldn’t afford one - although my friend was clearly mortified when she found out and had a talk to her son. Kids if that age are rarely malicious, just state the obvious.

Just be grateful that your own child is not a rude, opinionated little madam.
8 is old enough to know that certain opinions are best kept to yourself.

It’s literally a question, the only one interpreting it as an insult is you, which is clearly your issue not theirs.

There are some deeply unpleasant people on this thread, commenting with disapproval on others parenting and their apparent failure to teach their children appropriate social responses. Yet here they are showing everyone their own lack of manners. Astonishing.

This child has no awareness that bigger is better or any concept of money or property value. She’s used to seeing houses a certain size, yours differed from the norm, she commented on it - it’s not an insult

Definitely this. I'd take it as a perfectly innocent factual observation.

Damn right i didnt invite him back. He still made my DD feel like shit about herself and was rude to me. Why would I want to encourage that friendship!

She’s 8!

My friends child came over and asked my why my tv was so tiny, I just found it funny!