Child’s friend insulted house

[Spicychili]

As heading- my daughter’s 8 year old friend came over to play and kept asking why our house and garden are so small and commenting on it. This is a sore point as most kids at their school have larger houses! I overheard them so didn’t get involved in the discussion. My daughter seemed to brush it off. AIBU to be upset by this or is this normal?

I'd expect that the parents of that little angel had taught them some manners at the very least

Your child's friend is a rude little piece of work.

I'd be throwing a wet blanket over the friendship unless she has a lot of redeeming qualities and her parents are nice, down to earth people.

Give over….she’s 8

I know, it's ridiculous!

Some posters (and OP) think it actually means something??

🤣 🤣

Over a factual remark said by a child?

Please tell me you're joking?

Well said....

This thread is ridiculousis.
I'm reading it and thinking wow, some posters actually think that a kid's factual remarks mean something?

Just wow!

My DD had a friend like this; he was a rude little shit! Got in my car once and was going "errrrrr your cars so old and rubbish", I told him "if you don't like it, i can walk you back home dear 🙃" He actually snarled and told me to shut up! My DD was shocked and said "you cant talk to my mum like that". I was very proud of her reaction! Needless to say, despite continuing friendship from reception to year 6, he's never been invited back.

However, he was a complete bullshitter. He would tell my DD all her toys were rubbish; but i knew for a fact from being friends with his mum, that they were on the breadline and he wasn't flush with half the things DD had. I think it was his mask to criticise others so openly.

She’s just a kid.

Jesus, that's just nasty, not "saying what you see" like the big/snall house thing. Nasty kid.

My kids would absolutely know not to say this at 8 (and probably from around age 6).

Walking home from school aged about 9 with schoolfriend, talking about weekend. Me "I'm going swimming with Jane and Emma. Do you want to come?" 'I'd like to but we've got to go to the Queen's garden party. We go every year. Do you ever go?" she asked hopefully. 'Er no. Never done that'. Point being that she wasn't bragging, she was quite miffed at being dragged along with her parents to a boring event. We attended a perfectly ordinary state primary with no noticeable signs of privilege going on. I was poor, she was not. Neither of us at that age had noticed any inequality between us. Don't worry about the size of your house.

Dropped dds posh friend home literally covered in mud after a down and dirty festival and she muttered how she had better get washed up quickly as she was having tea with a king that afternoon 😀. Of a small Asian state but still cracked us up!

My friends has this happen to them a lot, they lived in a flat and their daughter always made friends with wealthy children with big houses. Often had comments like “why don’t you have an upstairs” and “how can your house not have a garden” - think it’s normal!

So you know he's masking his situation and you still wouldn't invite the kid?

My niece called me Fat many times at 8 years old. Like wow you're sooo big! I should have called the police as my mental health is affected 🙄

I can not phantom the amount of people who shrugs it off with a 'she is a kid'. She is 8!!

Do you not raise your children to be kind and considerate of others? I think it is absolutely insane 🤯.

I would be absolutely mortified if one of mine ever had behaved in such an entitled and inconsiderate manner.

Kindness and respect is not optional. As I said this happened to my son last week, he is 6. It was the first playdate he had in our home and he was so excited and proud about it. That comment really hurt his feelings and the rude, entitled little shit will not be coming back to our house until they has learned some manners.

Edit.

No, you should have told your niece that she is wrong to comment on the appearance of others. It is rude and shows poor manners.

I did but it doesn't stop me from playing with her and banning her from my house like some of the overreacting adults here!

Dd2's friend asked if we were Jewish as we had 2 sinks - one in the kitchen, the other in the utility room!

Also dd3's friend came around when she was about 7 (I'd picked her up as her dm had called me as she had been caught up in a car crash). She kept on saying how small our house was and how she'd hate to be joined to another house (we live in a 3 bed semi).

I had a cousin who asked if we were poor because we used washing up liquid instead of shampoo. My mother was mortified when I told her and we had shampoo henceforth.

I'm still not sure why we used washing up liquid tbh.

[random musing]

Yes she's 8 so I would let it go over my head. But also, at that age a lot of kids DO know that such comments are rude and their personalities are starting to form by that point. I recall being bullied by kids at the same age over where I lived and being "poor" and they knew exactly what they were saying. They almost certainly learned this attitude from their parents. They're still awful people.today.

This sounds more like you being incredibly thin-skinned and insecure than anything. some people recognise that their house is small, or they’re poorer than the visiting child’s household, and aren’t cut to the heart by a remark. Or indeed by a child from a family that spends money differently. We are financially comfortable, but have one tv in a five-bedroomed house. For some people that would be a sign of poverty. For us it’s not.

The OP had the option to bring it up with the child, she doesn’t have the option of parenting that child and teaching her about social niceties,

You are supposed to be the big guy, the parent. You sound more like the child. Children are not perfect, one of yours will disgrace you one day, will you blame yourself?

Very observant and reasonable question!