Refusing responsibility for contraception anymore

[Growingyou]

Maybe this is immature of me but DH has happily accepted me taking responsibility for contraception for over a decade (the pill). We are finished having children and I have been strictly told I cannot use hormonal contraception (I have the broken skull from brain tumour removal to thank for using the pill). DH is refusing condoms or vasectomy and has asked me to figure out another option. Of course, there are non-hormonal options available, but after multiple pregnancies and a craniotomy, AIBU to pass the baton to him and say this is your problem now? ( yes, I know it’s a joint problem, I’m just tired)

Just tell him the other option is abstention

I would divorce him in those circumstances. What a twat.

Sorry I’m not fully understanding your post. Did you have a brain tumour caused by the pill. I would be single forever if my husband wouldn’t take responsibility after that. We had our kids and within weeks DH had his vasectomy because he is a decent human being. Honestly I’m horrified if I’m reading your post correctly.

What are his bullshit excuses reasons for no condoms or considering a vasectomy?

So why is he refusing vasectomy? I would be passing the buck back to him. He takes responsibility or it’s abstention

I’d definitely say no sex until he’s sorted it one way or the other.

YANBU, tell him there will be no sex until he figures it out.

Not unreasonable, DH & I have always agreed that once we are done having children he will be having a vasectomy. His idea, he agrees I’ve done enough!

I do think though unless you’re prepared to not have sex at all you unfortunately can’t fully pass this onto him because the reality is if there are any slip ups it’s you that then has to go through either an abortion or another pregnancy- neither of which is easy.

You’re not being immature at all. Him on the other hand.

what’s his reason? It sounds like he sees you as a sex toy not a person and I’d be telling him that. And suggesting counselling together with abstention until this is resolved.

Then he doesn't get to have sex. There are no other options.

You'll get people saying it's unfair on him, but fuck that. You've been through enough, selfish twat.

There are 3 options:
condoms
vasectomy
abstinence
He can take his pick from those.

Agreed all this abstain, it’s like women are only having sex to please the man?

Surely it’s not that easy to “just abstain”, assuming you enjoy sex?

Of course you aren't being unreasonable. What's his reason for refusing condoms? I'm confused what does he think is going to happen? Is he ok with not have penetrative sex anymore cos that's the only other option.

So your option is?

He has a vasectomy! But why is the go to for the majority of posters, just abstain? It’s not acceptable!

I wouldn't abstain. I'd go and find a better man to have sex with.

Well I definitely wouldn't want to shag him after that comment so no sex it is!

You can still have sex just not penis in vagina penetration. There's lots of ways to experience sex without that.
What's the other option? But anyone a selfish man isn't usually a turn on and if he's selfish when it comes to this I doubt he's a giver in bed

Of course you divorce him. He is scum.

Yeah but she can't force him to have a vasectomy. So what's the option now?

He's refusing the vastectomy. He's refusing condoms and he's told the OP to sort it out.

would you get wet for someone so selfish?

You have a cracked skull due to having a brain tumour removed and he won’t wear a condom?!

just buy yourself a sex toy and leave him out of the equation altogether. He’s a staggeringly monumentally selfish twat

Wtf? Yeah... That would be a hard pass for me.
After 15 years on the pill, three pregnancies (youngest is 9m), I told my husband I was finished with contraception and he bulk bought condoms, not that we need many, we have sex about twice a month! But he reckons he's getting the snip "next year"...
Sorry he's had that response to you, how disappointing, you deserve more respect.

Tell him your option is abstaining!

What an arsehole! How dare he put all this on you. I said I was done with the pill and DH got a vasectomy. I have since had the Mirena coil due to peri symptoms. DH has never said anything (aside from being supportive regarding peri symptoms). My friend’s husband (a dick at the best of times) said to me (not DH, he wasn’t there) that I should now pay for DH to have a reversal. Dickhead!