Refusing responsibility for contraception anymore

[Growingyou]

Maybe this is immature of me but DH has happily accepted me taking responsibility for contraception for over a decade (the pill). We are finished having children and I have been strictly told I cannot use hormonal contraception (I have the broken skull from brain tumour removal to thank for using the pill). DH is refusing condoms or vasectomy and has asked me to figure out another option. Of course, there are non-hormonal options available, but after multiple pregnancies and a craniotomy, AIBU to pass the baton to him and say this is your problem now? ( yes, I know it’s a joint problem, I’m just tired)

What future proofing would she need as she's not affecting her own fertility

This.
And don't compromise.
What a selfish man.

She's already said most conventional contraceptives for use by women could affect her general health though.

Not immature for expecting and telling someone to do their share. I gave my husband the options of vasectomy or condoms. I had done my bit with pregnancy, hormones etc. It's only fair

He was fine with it as he recognized it's not on me

No condoms, no sex - easy

Given your situation it would be completely reasonable for you to decide you are only having sex with men who take full responsibility for contraception. He can do with that what he wishes.

Your obsession with vasectomies suggests it very much is personal.

YANBU. I told DH the same a few years ago as I came off contraception due to gynae issues and I am so limited to what I can take and they just don't agree with me. After two pregnancies, childbirth etc, I have done my bit!
We have been using condoms and now he's taken the decision to go for a vasectomy, I haven't put any pressure on but he knows if he doesn't want to use condoms that's the only other option!

Hormonal contraception turns me into a nun so me and my partner use condoms at the moment. It's been a great solution for me, not ideal for him but the more we've used them the more he's got used to it and we've tried different brands and found one that works best for him also. We had issues before due to a difference in sex drive and me coming off the pill has solved that, so ultimately he's just happy to be having sex!

I would buy some condoms and tell your husband it doesn't have to be the permanent solution but they are there for the next time you want to have sex. That way he will know you are serious about not wanting to do anything else and if he wants to have sex with you right now he'll have to put a condom on.

I have already told my DP that if we have another one, I will be expecting him to have a vasectomy. I have been on contraception almost constantly from I was 15. I am now 32.

I am fed up of side effects, weight gain, mood changes, changes to the cycle. It couldn't be good going into peri menopause years still on contraceptives.

He says he doesnt want a vasectomy or use condoms. I told him, I guess thats the point we become celibate then.

And what did he say to that?

I’m not sure if you’re a bit slow or just talking crap for the sake of it but several times I’ve said it’s not personal to me. I have no reason to lie about it not being personal or not…. It’s not, if anyone sounds obsessed here it’s you

Yes I am aware of what you have claimed.

And yet you keep coming back saying it must be personal

Don't you just hate it when the original poster doesn't come back? Suspect this is a fake post!

condoms
vasectomy
abstinence

point out you took responsibility for years now it’s his turn and you won’t be putting yourself through any procedures nor will you be having sex until he resolved it.

i took a similar stance to dh , we us condoms.

Yeah definitely done for a wind up

Yanbu. I mean you could have tubes cut but given what you've already been through why the bloody hell should you. It's condoms or vasectomy. In your shoes I'd be pretty disgusted to the point of telling him to leave. He sounds dreadful and frankly very unsupportive.

Aren't most of them atm?

Also I wouldn't want to have sex with someone as selfish as him.

I get you are tired
And you have been through an awful experience
But never would I leave contraception up to a man ..unless I was 100% sure he had had the snip.
At the end of the day op
It's you who will get pregnant and have to decide on keeping it or a termination
And you who will have to go through pregnancy or termination
Basically in your shoes I would say
No sex till you have had the snip

Your husband is a fuckwit.

I’m in the exact same situation: done with having kids and can’t take the pill anymore for medical reasons. DH didn’t want a vasectomy so condoms it is. It has been 2y, condoms are a bit of a pain but you get used to it.