Refusing responsibility for contraception anymore

[Growingyou]

Maybe this is immature of me but DH has happily accepted me taking responsibility for contraception for over a decade (the pill). We are finished having children and I have been strictly told I cannot use hormonal contraception (I have the broken skull from brain tumour removal to thank for using the pill). DH is refusing condoms or vasectomy and has asked me to figure out another option. Of course, there are non-hormonal options available, but after multiple pregnancies and a craniotomy, AIBU to pass the baton to him and say this is your problem now? ( yes, I know it’s a joint problem, I’m just tired)

My thoughts exactly

It does if the alternative is his partner risking her health. It also shows they are a decent human being by being willing to play their part in avoiding pregnancy.

So you’d handle it in a childish way

Nope. The only option here is abstinence as others have said. I’ve never been able to take anything hormonal so we used condoms for decades and my husband has a vasectomy after our second child. I had enough responsibility between pregnancy and breastfeeding so it was very much his turn.

Still doesn’t mean someone who doesn’t want one isn’t a decent human being

It’s easy to abstain if the other options pose a risk to me physical and emotional health.

I don't think he deserves sex ever again tbh. I wouls leave my husband if he had that attitude.

But one who refuses to bear the contraception load as his turn is not a decent man.

That was not my go to. My go to would be condoms or vasectomy. He has refused both of those so my other option would be to abstain.

He is being selfish to put it all on OP of course but saying someone isn’t a decent human being because they don’t want a vasectomy is unfair

In this situation it really does.

He is a selfish man for putting it all on Op but not wanting to have a vasectomy doesn’t make someone not a decent human being

I would have no desire whatsoever to have sex with someone so stupid. But that would solve the problem of course .......

This. To be honest this alone would kill any desire I would have for him.

I could not stomach a man this selfish.

And is the husband being childish?

Lol. So there's never ever been an occasion where you get carried away. Fairly unusual if say. It's pretty normal to want to feel a guy inside you. No matter how many orgasms you may have had thought other means

He can fuck right off. No sex for him then I guess. I cant believe he'd even consider for you to risk your health again. This is one of the worst things I've read on here about a shitty husband.

Nobody said that.

Putting the entire load of his partner does make him selfish.

The other PP have an example of her husband sharing the load (a vasectomt) as him
being decent. I assume this is personal to you im that you want to see yourself as decent despite never desiring a vasectomy.

No he’s being selfish

What a total knob! You are not being unreasonable at all. How could you possibly want to shag a man who cares so little for your well being? He can get his act together or fuck off. Never mind abstinence, I’d be seriously considering divorce.

You basically did say that in a roundabout way

It also shows they are a decent human being by being willing to play their part in avoiding pregnancy.

I have already said he is acting selfish!
No this is not personal to me and I don’t have the right body parts to desire or not desire a vasectomy

In the original post, the OP's husband is refusing to take any responsibility for contraception, so what else can the OP suggest?

DH is refusing condoms or vasectomy and has asked me to figure out another option.

What a selfish twat. I would tell him there is no other option. It's his turn to take responsibility. End of.

Sure. If there are other options then it’s a discussion. But in this scenario hormones aren’t an option and he’s blanket refused the two options that would put the responsibility on him. So he’s a terrible partner.

plenty of men don’t want vasectomies but also don’t need to consider them as they aren’t with partners who don’t want to be pregnant and can no longer take on 100% of the burden.

Abstinence or vasectomy- and say not remotely fussed either way and while he thinks on it enjoy the peace and quiet x