Misuse of SAHM terminology

[NotEnoughKnittingTime]

Am I being unreasonable for getting slightly irritated when mothers describe themselves as SAHM when they actually work outside the home? Often see this on tiktok!

I agree!

I assumed a SAHM meant you didn’t work at all. I don’t think it includes mums that WFH.

I agree.

I think if someone made income from their TikTok account which was about being a SAHM I would still count them as a SAHM.

What kind of work?

Manager of a magazine. Might be outing 😂

I’m not on TikTok and don’t know exactly what you mean but doesn’t it depend on the context? I’m a SAHM in that I had my older DC at home with me bar a couple of mornings of preschool the year before school and still have a toddler with me full time. But I also work and bring in money of employed mostly in the evenings and some weekends. What should I call myself?

You’re a working mum obviously . That’s what you call yourself .

I baffled. In what way is a mum who works outside the home a SAHM??

You work part time so no you aren't a SAHM. Basically if you give up your job and live off the wages of your partner then yes you are one.

this is really not on and completely outrageous! How dare they 😵

Completely light hearted obviously.

Why does it matter?

I mean I roll my eyes when I’m doing recruitment and get those ridiculous CV’s claiming that being a SAHM means that they have essentially been a ‘project manager’ because of how they run their family (I am an actual project manager and it isn’t even remotely similar) but I don’t get worked up about it.

I also roll my eyes when someone says they are a SAHM, and when asked 'how old are your childen' the answer is '18 and 21, both away at uni'. In my mind a SAHM has pre school or primary age children, or older children needing extra support due to health needs/disabilities.

Oh dear god please say you’re joking and no woman ever has done that - toe curl!!!!!

Except SAHMs do work - they just don’t get paid (I’ve been both working mum and SAHM)

Hang on - I work (very) part time and definitely live off my husband's wages. Mine woouldn't support our dogs, never mind our children and run a house. So what am I?

(I know I'm going to regret asking that)

But why? It’s up to them, surely? It wouldn’t be my bag, but best not be judgy

But how can they be a SAHM if they have children not at home?

Fair point. But they’re just trying to put a best side in order to get work. If they didn’t, would you “roll your eyes” that they weren’t working? Sorry - just found your comment a bit snipey.

If you have minor children living at home and you don’t work, you’re a SAHM. The idea that you can be a SAHM with older minor children, but only if they’re disabled, is kind of a weird take.

Gosh MN really doesn’t like SAHMs!

@LowDownBoyStandUpGuy i get especially annoyed at the ones providing a long list on all the “transferable skills” they learned while being a SAHP. No, organising playdates and doing batch cooking does not mean you would be a great project manager/insert other job titles. It means you are insulting the people who actually do this job . instant rejection

I think if your children are at uni, you’re not a SAHM. You’re a housewife. Which is fine, and will be what works best for some households. But maybe they think housewife is pejorative so don’t want to use it.

@Theroadt i don’t care if someone had a family break. fair enough. i do mind people being delusional enough to think organising playdates does enable them in any shape of form to organise a project team.

No, I think a brief comment to explain that the gap in their CV is due to taking time out to raise their family is totally fine and is what I’d expect the majority of CVs from women in that situation to say (same if they took time off paid work to take care of an elderly relative for example, you just need a sentence to explain why there’s X number of years gap). No need to pretend it’s project manager work.