Misuse of SAHM terminology

[NotEnoughKnittingTime]

Am I being unreasonable for getting slightly irritated when mothers describe themselves as SAHM when they actually work outside the home? Often see this on tiktok!

Eh? Not what I am saying.

I disagree that there is not a tonne of project management involved in raising children and running a household. The admin is insane. (I work full time and have several young kids).

So do I. But I really think it’s not a project manager role, and a comment like that on a CV would suggest to me that they didn’t fully understand what project managers do.

Project management is a huge umbrella term though. My brother is a PM for an offshore supply company. His job is entirely different from the Project Managers I work in construction with.

@Tandora yes, organising a household is a lot of work. that doesn’t make it a project manager role, or count as project management experience.

Sure, I just think it’s totally different to bringing up children. I’m not even saying it’s harder to be a PM than to be a SAHM. I’m just saying they aren’t the same and it’s silly to present it that way on a CV.

Absolutely not. Some of them make money, good money at that. They are working filming regular content and posting for a job. It's not just a hobby for some of them.

My kids are now at uni. On visa declarations, I declare my role to be 'house bitch'.

And no, SAHM's are really not liked on MN.

A mother who is at home all day with her children, rather than having them in daycare is a SAHM. If she works in the evenings whilst her husband is home and/or the kids are in bed, that doesn’t not make her a SAHM? What a load of nonsense.

She does all the same roles as a SAHM, all day, but the poor bugger instead of having a wee seat at night, watching a bit of telly, has to go out and work at night too.

It depends on what type of project management it is. It is not totally different at all. There are a whole heap of transferable skills from SAHM to working in some aspects of project management.

I WFH, and am main carer to my complex needs disabled teen, but that means I don't work, apparently 🙄

Working mums do almost all the things SAHMs do though, which is why it looks very silly to start listing things like “project management of household” on a CV, as if ensuring the house is stocked with enough bog roll etc. is a special skill only SAHMs posses.

Agree, tik tokkers are definitely not SAHMs, there’s a lot of work that goes into filming all those videos.

I wouldn’t class someone who works in the evenings or weekends as a SAHM either.

That’s something only someone who has no idea about professionalism in a given fiend/ recruitment / the world of work in 2025 would say on their actual CV though.

I think often there is no point having a black and white distinction.

My mum was a SAHM while we were little, then she got a job as a TA at our school. She was with us before and after school, and in school holidays. So she was with us as much, and did as much childcare, as any SAHM with school age children, she also had a paid job while we were at school. I don’t think many people would describe her as a SAHM during that period, but it’s not dissimilar to your example of a woman working in the evenings while the children are in bed or with their dad.

But it depends what issue related to SAHMs you’re talking about. If you’re talking about the level of childcare/amount of time with children, then you’d include my mum with any SAHMs of school age children. But if you’re talking about the effects of trying to get back into the workplace after years of being a SAHM, you’d only count my mum as a SAHM for 10 years (the time from me being born to her becoming a TA), and not for 15 years (the time between me being born and her doing a PGCE and becoming a full time teacher, which she did after 5 years of being a TA).

But if you’re working from home then are not either employed by someone or self employed? Are you talking about others saying you do not work because that does not seem to be the opinion of this thread.
Edit: I meant to quote @ASimpleLampoon

I thought this thread was going to be about those who claim to be SAHM's but have teenagers.

I WFH and I'm most definitely not a SAHM.

Ah now, surely you knew that all sahms use network diagrams and gantt charts to plan the housework.

I used to work shifts around my DH so we didn't use any childcare and one of us was always home with the kids.
Neither of us considered ourselves SAHPs at the time though.

Why on earth does it matter what other people describe themselves as? I couldn’t care less whether they say SAHM, housewife, wfhm or whatever. It has no impact on my life at all.

Oi, I’m the CEO of this household, thank you very much! 😁

I like the idea of asking them at interview if they prefer to apply Agile / Lean / Prince2 etc. methodology to their home management and if they wouldn't mind explaining how they've done that and the steps involved.

Although people probably do make Kanban boards for birthday parties these days

I've never come across a project management role that you would be qualified for by dint of being a sahm.

I am not critical of SAHM. I am just saying some call themselves SAHM when they aren't. That is all

I have been a sahm with my oldest until he was 2 and then was training and studying until he went to school. Sahm of baby or toddler is definitely hard work and can feel a bit of a thankless task. However ive got to be honest, I dont think you can count yourself as a sahm to children in secondary school, excluding children with additional needs. And tbh children in primary school. You aren't at home with them all day, they are in school for a significant portion of the day.

Who said that? If you wfh then you’re working and are also a carer.