Misuse of SAHM terminology

[NotEnoughKnittingTime]

Am I being unreasonable for getting slightly irritated when mothers describe themselves as SAHM when they actually work outside the home? Often see this on tiktok!

What a weird thread. Firstly, why would anyone even care what a woman calls herself, whether she works in the evenings or sporadically or whatever? So what?

Second, why are women instantly piling in to bitch about a imaginary non-issue about SAHMs and CVs? What does this have to do with anything? Look at yourselves. It's just your own pettiness.

@banquepopulaire unfortunately these cvs are very much not imaginary….

Ah fair point.

So what? The OP to the thread is not remotely about CVs is it?

It's about a woman who apparently works (flexibly?) but calls herself a SAHM.

No I know it’s not what you’re saying - just the vibe of some of the comments in response (I’ve been working mum and SAHM at different times)

Is there any reason why it matters? Honest question as I’m not understanding the issue. (I’ve been both if it’s relevant 🤷‍♀️)

They definitely do!

edited: oh, link didn’t link

www.askamanager.org/2020/02/can-i-put-running-my-household-on-my-resume.html

I've seen women being advised to do it on here!
Mortifying.

Gawd. 😁

“Who claim to be SAHM’s but have teenagers” - what does that even mean? They’re SAHMs when the youngest child is twelve, but magically not SAHMs anymore one day later when the youngest child turns thirteen?

Not working for money plus minor children at home equals SAHM.

Why?

if she’s working that makes her a working mum??? Why does it matter what time of day you are working? I work from home I don’t call myself a SAHM?

I guess I'm not understanding what it is about it that irritates you specifically? Is it just that you're being pedantic? No judgment ,I can be pedantic myself sometimes. Or does this somehow damage the plight of a stay-at-home mother?

No idea what you are talking about. Why are you here? What are you gaining here?

You come across as quite simple. I mean that respectfully. What man is going to talk about about abortion during foreplay or the lead upto having sex... come on use your imagination or perhaps read correctly. It's common sense he told me after we had sex.

There seems to be a lot of focus and critism/ pulling me down. Don't you feel theres been more than enough?

I unfollowed your thread because you don't seem like a very nice person and I'm not interested in talking to you anymore. But if you're going to follow me around the site and make comments then I'm going to report it.

Eh?

What about a shift worker who only ever foes nights or back shift but are at home during the day with their DC doing all the household tasks as well?

What about someone who only works while their DC is out at school but is at home looking after them and doing the household tasks around that?

By your bizarre logic they are SAHPs too…..

it doesn’t matter when you work your hours, if you work you are not a SAHP.

It's equivalent to calling yourself a qualified nurse, because you look after your kids when they're sick.

I work part-time but when people ask me what I do for a living my instinct is always to say “I’m at home with the kids at the minute.”
I work 15 hours per week outside the home but it feels so little in comparison to the days I’m home with my 2 preschool age kids that it actually feels a bit disingenuous to say “I work as x” - I think I feel like a phony when I say that!

Anyway, not saying that this is right or that your original observation is wrong- just sharing to give some insight into why some people might choose to say this despite working part-time?

Not really. To be a qualified nurse you have to have a specific qualification. Project management is not one specific thing but an umbrella terminology that encompasses a whole range of varied jobs, involving planning and overseeing the implementation of business activities. It requires a particular skill set which is definitely also utilised in trying to manage a household/ kids.

I’d honestly find it so odd if I found out someone worked two full days a week whilst claiming to be at home with the kids/SAHM.

I honestly think some women are ashamed of working while having a family and so what to present what they feel is the ideal image of being a SAHM. Working while you’re a mother is nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s something to celebrate.

ETA - celebrate is probably too strong but there is no shame in working IMO, especially if it’s part time so you get the best of both worlds

In my mind it's the concept that you have children who require significant practical support day to day - school runs, after school and holiday childcare etc, that looking after them fills a significant chunk of their day, the children need someone to be home and around for them consistently. By the time they are in secondary most young people get themselves to school on buses etc, can be left alone at home for chunks of time, so having a mum/parent staying at home becomes more of a description/label than a practical time consuming role - as others have said, many prefer it to housewife or unemployed to define themselves - as is their choice to do so. I am only stating my perception, not a legal definition of a SAHM.

Of course many primary children don't have mums who stay at home, but provisions need to be made for school runs, so that role is still essential, even if it may not always be done by the mum.

I mean at the moment (it is due to change) only "registered nurse" is a legally protected title - requiring appropriate qualifications and registration, so anyone can call themselves a qualified nurse. They could well be claiming they are qualified through experience of caring for their own children.

Its similar to calling yourself a plumber because you once unblocked a sink. Or a tax advisor because you did your own tax return. Or a chef because you cook at home.
You know a tiny little part of the job, but completely miss the awareness of the complexity. its s hood start, but you have a lot to learn. It can justify why you are interested in developing some knowledge!

If children are at school all day, I don't see how they are SAHM's. To me, SAHM's care for their children all day because they are too young for school.

I find it odd when someone calls themselves a SAHM but they have children at school all day.

That is ridiculous. Although I've seen Work at home mum, or something equally stupid on here.