Gave cpr. Not heard anything from the victim. Is it ok to feel a little sad?

[Rizzlekicks123]

Never posted before but was hoping for either some moral support.

I gave cpr recently to a neighbour (who I don't know but who mutual friends do). I am not a medic and havent had formal training. Just online reading. The woman lived and is going to be ok (thank goodness). The thing that is upsetting me is that she hasn't reached out despite knowing how to find me. She owes me nothing and I'd do the same again if I was faced with it, but I feel so sad that the trauma I experienced has not been acknowledged. I dont want anything other than a "are you ok" It was so stressful. Aibu?

No it isn’t.

She died.

Give the woman a break.

Yep. And totally different for the person whose life was nearly lost. OP did a really good thing but if she’s been left traumatised she should seek professional help rather than relying on the person she saved to grovel in gratitude.

Of course it is. Her experience is totally different to that of Op and the reality is that after giving CPR the OP will have turned things over to the professionals who are the real life savers. Her neighbour is probably not even aware that OP was involved because the nature of the event was an emergency.

She isn’t

Well what would you call it then ?

She will have been told. And sorry you are in no position to say paramedics were the real life savers. Were you there?CPR whilst waiting is sometimes vital and can save lives .You just clearly have an unpleasant axe to grind. Thankfully there are kind people like the op willing to help people.

Nope, no axe to grind and you have no more reason to say she will have been told about OP’s part in it than I have. I’ve been through this with a relative. Cardiac arrest in the street. A passer by gave CPR until paramedics arrived, handed over to them and then disappeared. My relative never found out who they were because no details are taken - it’s an emergency. The CPR given by those who know what they’re doing and happen to be on hand is invaluable and OP should be proud of herself. But she should not be seeking validation from the person she saved. There are support groups she can talk things through with, without further traumatising someone who may only just be coming to terms with having faced their own mortality.

And there’s a way to be kind to the OP - which many of you have failed to do.

My husband has done it twice. Once in the street His details were taken. Sorry but I disagree, it takes 2 minutes to send a note or message and if somebody goes through something traumatic for you and saves your life you do actually owe them something. As a society taking the bravery and kindness of others for granted doesn’t do anybody any favours.

I’ve acknowledged that Op did a wonderful thing. But that absolutely doesn’t entitle her to seek support from the person she saved. There are support services out there which can do that. How is that unkind ?

Ok we’ll leave it there because neither of us know whether OP’s details were taken or not. And if not, then the person she saved clearly doesn’t even know she was involved because she was too busy trying not to die at the time.

Really no need for the dramatic “trying not to die”🙄

What else would you call it ?

I did CPR on a neighbour in the street, he died. His wife has never looked at me, let alone spoken to me in the 14 years since.

1. Bearing in mind someone has to be unconsious before you can perform CPR how can she possibly know it was you who did it?
2. She might not have wanted to be resuccitated.

In someone needing CPR almost all body functions have shut down to the point of fatality. It’s reasonable for OP to feel proud of herself that she achieved something rare - someone surviving amateur CPR in those circumstances. What’s not reasonable is to expect the recipient of that CPR to remember it, given the severity of the situation, or to be aware of who did what and when.

Well done, the trauma from carrying out cpr passes, real cpr is nothing like the movies, it has a heavy impact.
I had flashbacks for weeks, the person didn't survive. It was the act not the outcome that shook me.
I hope you feel better soon.

Completely agree. It’s unbelievably difficult in real life, and you definitely aren’t singing Bee Gees songs. You are listening to the dispatcher’s instructions, praying the sirens mean real help is coming and desperately trying not to fail. The sound of ribs cracking isn’t one you forget easily. I had no clue that happened and was crying at the thought I’d done more harm than good.

They are going through their own trauma, not to mention possible medical issues either linked to the cardiac arrest or the cause of the cardiac arrest.

8 weeks after my sons cardiac arrest, I could barely think straight. I was still having flashbacks. Nothing else but my son and our trauma was my priority at that stage. It is still hard to think about 17 months later.

Well the man my husband helped to save managed to acknowledge my husband when he was back on his feet. It takes 2 minutes. He was questioning if he’d do it again before he was approached by the family. Ive been in the position myself with loved one who had CPR in a traumatic situation. When the dust dies down it is the right thing to do unless we want the general public to back off and not do anything in these situations.

If you do something for the thanks and acknowledgment, then you are doing it for the wrong reason.
Rather shocking that your husband would question whether or not to give someone else CPR based on not being thanked by the previous person.

It’s wasn’t about thanks at all but processing it
amd whether he did the right thing. Quite shocking that those whose loved ones have been saved by a member of the public going out on a limb and doing something quite traumatic and risky don’t even see the need to check in with them when the dust has settled. I guess it’s a sign of today’s society.

That’s a bit ridiculous. You don’t do CPR to be thanked. You certainly don’t suggest that someone who has nearly died has a responsibility to thank the person who did COR on them immediately, otherwise the ‘general public’ will stop intervening when occasion calls.

This. That someone would let a person die because they can’t guarantee they would be ‘grateful enough’ is shocking.