Furious at DH and his friend bringing someone back to our house

[TiredSaturdayy]

My DH’s friend is staying for the weekend. He lives about 4 hours away and they only see each other once a year. This is perfectly fine with me as I usually get on well with him.

Last night, they both went out into town to catch up. DH got into bed about 1am, I sleep lightly so was woken but soon got to sleep. His friend is staying in our spare bedroom.

I am woken by noises shortly after. I wake DH and ask if he can hear them. He says there’s something he needs to tell me and that his friend met a women in the last bar they were in and INVITED HER HOME! So the noises were infact them ‘at it’ in my spare bedroom.

I go ballistic at DH and ask why he thought this was acceptable. Our DC is away this weekend which is beyond the point. Completely irresponsible to allow a stranger into our house in those circumstances.

I tell DH that if he doesn’t ask her to leave then I will. He says he’ll message his friend. No reply. He’s about to get up and knock on the door when we hear it open and his friend sees her out and she eventually leaves.

DH is asleep still now, I am downstairs absolutely aghast at their behaviour. If he thinks I am sorting out the fry up they kept on about before they went out then they’ve another thing coming.

But it’s the OP’s husband’s home too and he has just as much say in who stays as she does. He agreed that his friend could bring the woman back.

Even if they had an on/off partner, and they woke you up in the night by shagging so loudly in the next room?
#bantz

The ‘thing’ coming is a thought 😁 but you can’t argue with illogical people 🫤

Well we’re all different are we. I would feel the same as OP.

Two grown adults need to get a hotel if there was some reason that they couldn’t go back to hers.
Skanks.

Gets worse, OP. Are you going to tell the partner? Terrible that she is with such a loser.

Why would want be an issue? My husband going out with a friend who was actively on the pull and found another woman out with single friends?

Obviously it's not cheating but it's not how my husband would spend his time when he could be either out chatting to his mate that he hasnt seen or home with his family rather than women out on the pull (and don't berate me for that phrase, I know not all women out together are on the pull but some are - I have been a single woman out with my single friends and we were out on the pull, so let's not pretend it doesn't happen for the sake of political correctness)

Yes. What he chooses to do is his business. If I went out with one of my own friends and they hit it off with someone and wanted to hook up, I’d be completely fine with that - even if I heard a noise on a Friday night, the horror! Why would I feel any differently because it’s my husband and his friend instead of me and mine?

Oh please. Anyone that judges whether someone is smart or knowledgeable based on the fact they use what has become a well known phrase, especially when that phrase is more widely used than the original, is a complete idiot.

I must be up tight because I just don't get this at all 😂 you'd actually be annoyed at someone not having a one night stand at your house, cheating on their on/off partner etc at the age of 40 odd in your family home.

Well you've got another think coming about that

So would I. People just should not behave like that in friends' homes, it is disrespectful. They could have gone to her place or even got a room somewhere.

Teenagers sometimes sneak about in that way but this pair are in their forties. They should have known better and the op's husband could have refused.

Now the friend is feeling sheepish, serves him right.

Just opened this thread and knew that when I flipped it to the end it would have descended into an argument about think/thing coming.
It is think. Anyone with half a brain knows that.

I assume he was in a spare room and not using one of your DC beds...

Assume friend is stripping and washing the sheets for you too?,

The OPs husband and his non-local friend were drinking with a woman took that local likely drunk woman home from a local which has other locals watch them toddle their 3 drunk selves off home.

What happens if she is drunk and makes a police report the next morning or just speaks to her friends about what happened and they have an opinion.

Ha ha 🤣

100%!!
Massive cf behaviour, astonished with the minority that think it is ok and chill.

Bonk on your own turf and it remains YOUR business and choice…

Honestly, I wouldn’t care. The kids were not there. He was in the guest room. He is a grown man. Good for him! Who is getting hurt? I don’t understand what you are so upset about.

Don't you mean the 'thinging' process?

That's all very well, but there certainly wasn't enthusiastic consent from the op for a friend of her dh and a random woman to shag in her house, in the room next door

Don't worry @maudelovesharold I'm team OP here. I don't understand why some posters don't think it is rude for a guest to have an overnight visitor without the consent of both the hosts. It is rude, regardless of whether she was there for night time activities or just a cup of tea.

🤣

I cant imagine as a woman going back for a shag with a person I knew was staying in a friend's family home. It's absolutely minging. Add in that the wife would be at home and is a friend of a friend, Gos, that's just CF at its finest.
No idea why your DH didn't tell his friend to go to a hotel.
Can't believe pp stories about booting out a lodger though. Surely a lodger is allowed a personal life. If you take rent from a lodger you would surely have to expect that.

I voted YABU on the basis that:

1. It's a bit grim, a bit seedy and not ideal. I wouldn't be impressed either but I think the hysteria is excessive. Furious, ballistic, aghast, the capital letter shouting. Are you going to threaten to LTB next?
2. Even worse than all the pearl clutching is the 'another thing coming' as opposed to 'think'. It just doesn't make sense. It's the same as people I've heard talk about what life has install for them instead of in store. Blows my mind and yes, I judge them. More than I judge the lady (maybe wrong word) with the happy, flappy vagina who spent (half) the night at the OP's house.

…and leave the kitchen spotless after, and sort all the bed laundry out…

For me, one of the advantages of getting older is no expectation of waking up to the sound of housemates shagging, or bumping into randoms on the landing if you get up in the night to go to the bathroom. That was fine when I was 20 and living in student digs, but it's not something I'd expect to have to deal with in my own home at 40. I couldn't care less if my single friends have a ONS and I'd never judge them for it, but none of them would be disrespectful to bring a ONS back if they were a guest in someone's home. It's just grim.

Your DH's friend could have gone back to this woman's place or gotten a hotel. He was incredibly disrespectful to bring her back to your house. I'd be more annoyed with your DH for thinking that just because DC aren't home it's fine, he obviously didn't think you were worthy of any consideration.

Once he's gone I would be telling DH that next time his friend is in town he will have to find somewhere else to stay.