Page 5 | If you are NT

Ohwhatusernamethough · 2025-07-25T19:57:25+00:00

Do you instantly recognise a ND person? Sort of related to a thread on here currently, I find it quite fascinating. I suspect I’m probably ND and wonder if NT people recognise an ND person pretty much immediately? If so, how, what do you see?

IAmQuiteNiceActually · 25/07/2025 22:56

Hercisback1 · 25/07/2025 21:30

There's nothing to "lol" about.

If I said "NT people are boring" I'd (rightly) come in for a slating, so why is it acceptable to say it the other way round? It's rude, unkind and unnecessary.

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Well it's because we've struggled so much and we've thought ourselves defective. And we've been seen as defective. We've been disabled by having to live in a society created for neurotypicals with all your awful noise and busyness.

Now many of us are realising that in many ways we are the more rational, interesting and intelligent group. So we're making sure neurotypicals are aware that we're happy as we are and we don't want to be NT. I don't see why that would be hurtful.

Inastatus · 25/07/2025 22:59

mindutopia · 25/07/2025 22:54

Not necessarily. But I also don’t really buy into the idea of ‘neurodiversity’ in the sense that there are people who are NT and people who are ND. There are lots of types of people and some think differently than others and some find the world works more or less well the way it’s structured in our culture. I’m not sure it’s always helpful to slap a label on the person. I think we would be better off having a more flexible society where there is more options for everyone and not one sized fits all cookie cutter expectations. People are meant to be so much more diverse than we are willing to admit. You can have a really intense interest without being ND. Just like you can hate crowded spaces and loud noises. Or feel awkward meeting new people. These things are perfectly normal for everyone.

For example, absolutely everyone I know in their 40s is now being diagnosed with ADHD. Now do I think there is an actual condition called ADHD that some women have, sure. But I think the reality is that a lot of us are simply burnout out, overstimulated from constant doom scrolling, still reeling from having parented through COVID with small children at home, many people abusing substances of various sorts, trying to pretend that being stuck in front of a screen 12+ hours a day is normal from an evolutionary perspective. And then feeling like we have a diagnosable condition if we can’t cope with all that. It’s our lifestyle that is broken for lots of us, not our brains.

Edited

100000% this!

TheTwitcher11 · 25/07/2025 23:01

TtbbOnTheFloor · 25/07/2025 22:55

Sure, but that’s nothing to do with whether can identify someone as NT because they’re boring and superficial. I don’t care about offending NT people or anything, just don’t know how you know they are NT for sure without asking.

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Okay well said people have stated they are NT, I’ve had discussions with them surrounding Autism etc

Tippexy · 25/07/2025 23:04

God yes. Often I AS them and I’m nearly always proved right…

(I thought you meant posts on here!)

GarlicMetre · 25/07/2025 23:13

There are lots of types of people and some think differently than others and some find the world works more or less well the way it’s structured in our culture. I’m not sure it’s always helpful to slap a label on the person. I think we would be better off having a more flexible society where there is more options for everyone and not one sized fits all cookie cutter expectations.

Couldn't agree more heartily with this, @mindutopia! Strangely (or not), people with autism tend to be very keen on categorising and labelling everyone.

I also think there are observations to be made about society's escalating need to fit everything/everyone into computerised systems. If you don't meet the criteria expected by a digitised system, you must be some identified 'other' and there must be a branched system for that identification.

We've already lost a huge amount of societal flexibility, and it's still leaking away.

Fraggeek · 25/07/2025 23:14

mindutopia · 25/07/2025 22:54

Not necessarily. But I also don’t really buy into the idea of ‘neurodiversity’ in the sense that there are people who are NT and people who are ND. There are lots of types of people and some think differently than others and some find the world works more or less well the way it’s structured in our culture. I’m not sure it’s always helpful to slap a label on the person. I think we would be better off having a more flexible society where there is more options for everyone and not one sized fits all cookie cutter expectations. People are meant to be so much more diverse than we are willing to admit. You can have a really intense interest without being ND. Just like you can hate crowded spaces and loud noises. Or feel awkward meeting new people. These things are perfectly normal for everyone.

For example, absolutely everyone I know in their 40s is now being diagnosed with ADHD. Now do I think there is an actual condition called ADHD that some women have, sure. But I think the reality is that a lot of us are simply burnout out, overstimulated from constant doom scrolling, still reeling from having parented through COVID with small children at home, many people abusing substances of various sorts, trying to pretend that being stuck in front of a screen 12+ hours a day is normal from an evolutionary perspective. And then feeling like we have a diagnosable condition if we can’t cope with all that. It’s our lifestyle that is broken for lots of us, not our brains.

Edited

Part of the assessment covers your childhood. The amount of questions they asked was overwhelming, especially when I can only remember so much years on haha!
So realistically those in their 40s who have only felt this way for part of their adult life wouldn't be getting diagnosed as ND

GarlicMetre · 25/07/2025 23:17

IAmQuiteNiceActually · 25/07/2025 22:56

Well it's because we've struggled so much and we've thought ourselves defective. And we've been seen as defective. We've been disabled by having to live in a society created for neurotypicals with all your awful noise and busyness.

Now many of us are realising that in many ways we are the more rational, interesting and intelligent group. So we're making sure neurotypicals are aware that we're happy as we are and we don't want to be NT. I don't see why that would be hurtful.

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we are the more rational, interesting and intelligent group

Well, people do tend to be 'hurt' by assumption that they are inferior to another group.

CarpetKnees · 25/07/2025 23:23

As so many others have said, people with autism are not person, and present as individually as people without Autism.
I've met many, many young dc (through work) who it is so clearly obvious that they have autism from when you first lay eyes on them, but I've also met some adults, in completely different circumstances that I have not really thought about it until I have got to know them better. I've also met a couple of adults that I have been told have autism, that I have been surprised at.
there is no 'one' presentation.

Isitreallysohard · 25/07/2025 23:27

No and I think it's only a MN thing where everyone seems to be ND. But ... because of MN now if someone acts the slightest bit weird I assume they're probably autistic

Disturbia81 · 25/07/2025 23:30

Yes I’ve always worked and been around ND people so can see it easily, which I love as I can quickly adapt to them. Without talking to them I can see it in their walk, expressions, mannerisms etc.

cadburyegg · 25/07/2025 23:41

I’m NT. I have spent a lot of time with ND people over the course of my life - my dad, most of my best childhood friends, my ex husband, my ex best friend who lived with me for 18 months. So no I wouldn’t say I immediately spot ND people but there are some traits which I recognise. Such as, not making eye contact, finding timekeeping difficult, struggling with day to day tasks that NT people manage quite easily, not being aware of how much space they take up, so often walking into things or being perceived as not allowing space for others. At work - struggling to “fit in” with a team. Obviously these things are not exclusive to those who are ND. I guessed that my friend’s DS was ND the first time I met him as a baby. I have a DS the same age and her DS was just so different - didn’t really interact with you, no eye contact, repetitive movements.

Original poster

Ohwhatusernamethough · 25/07/2025 23:45

Disturbia81 · 25/07/2025 23:30

Yes I’ve always worked and been around ND people so can see it easily, which I love as I can quickly adapt to them. Without talking to them I can see it in their walk, expressions, mannerisms etc.

What is the walk and the mannerisms & expressions?

OP posts:

TipsyCoralOtter · 25/07/2025 23:59

Yes, but that's because usually they will tell you they are within the first five seconds of speaking to you, just like vegans. Especially the self diagnosed (tik tok) ones who think it makes them more interesting.

InattentiveADHD · 26/07/2025 03:35

I am ND so haven’t voted. I don’t think NTs would usually consciously know that someone is ND. But I do think they subconsciously sniff us out within a few minutes and they clock us as different/weird/odd and rule us out. I think it’s all subconscious though. I’ve said to my DH that an NT can spot us at 50 paces 😂. You often see a shutter go down behind their eyes after a couple of sentences! And I am perfectly polite! Not all NTs of course but a large proportion ime.

NDs however do the same in reverse. I can usually spot that someone’s ND extremely quickly either in person or sometimes even by the way they write. But I’m then drawn to them rather than put off.

CommissarySushi · 26/07/2025 03:56

Quite often. I find most autistic people really annoying and difficult to be around to be honest. Obviously I don't make this apparent, but it's true.

IShouldNotCoco · 26/07/2025 05:46

Inastatus · 25/07/2025 22:34

@IShouldNotCoco - not spreading crap. I know a lot of people who say they realise they are ND but they just accept it’s the way they are and they have found ways to deal with it. Not everyone seeks a diagnosis because it’s not that easy. My DS has dyslexia and dyspraxia and I had to go privately to get him diagnosed. School tests were useless.

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No it’s not easy. But not everyone is on the autistic spectrum. And it’s infuriating when some people won’t accept that from people who know better.

youalright · 26/07/2025 06:04

IShouldNotCoco · 26/07/2025 05:46

No it’s not easy. But not everyone is on the autistic spectrum. And it’s infuriating when some people won’t accept that from people who know better.

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I think what they mean is everyone has autistic traits but it obviously doesnt make them autistic. Just like being anxious doesn't mean you have an anxiety disorder

Motherfluffers · 26/07/2025 06:21

mindutopia · 25/07/2025 22:54

Not necessarily. But I also don’t really buy into the idea of ‘neurodiversity’ in the sense that there are people who are NT and people who are ND. There are lots of types of people and some think differently than others and some find the world works more or less well the way it’s structured in our culture. I’m not sure it’s always helpful to slap a label on the person. I think we would be better off having a more flexible society where there is more options for everyone and not one sized fits all cookie cutter expectations. People are meant to be so much more diverse than we are willing to admit. You can have a really intense interest without being ND. Just like you can hate crowded spaces and loud noises. Or feel awkward meeting new people. These things are perfectly normal for everyone.

For example, absolutely everyone I know in their 40s is now being diagnosed with ADHD. Now do I think there is an actual condition called ADHD that some women have, sure. But I think the reality is that a lot of us are simply burnout out, overstimulated from constant doom scrolling, still reeling from having parented through COVID with small children at home, many people abusing substances of various sorts, trying to pretend that being stuck in front of a screen 12+ hours a day is normal from an evolutionary perspective. And then feeling like we have a diagnosable condition if we can’t cope with all that. It’s our lifestyle that is broken for lots of us, not our brains.

Edited

I think this is very sensible point although I have absolutely no doubt that ADHD is real and debilitating. Lifestyle narrowing is pushing more people into struggle which is diagnosable. Also hormonal shifts are known to exacerbate difficulties in coping with things like ADHD

Zempy · 26/07/2025 06:24

I’m ND and I suspect I find it easier to spot a fellow ND person than someone who is NT, especially if they aren’t trained in that area.

I absolutely wouldn’t claim to always know though.

TorroFerney · 26/07/2025 06:30

Absentmindedsmile · 25/07/2025 21:21

Fat people - thin people vibe isn’t it.

poor people - rich people

povvo - ra ra

Comprehensive schools - private schools

One way criticism is acceptable.. but the other way all hell breaks loose.. hypocrisy at its finest.

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Was just going to say exactly that in relation to it being like the absolute free for all on insulting thin people. It's real chip on ones shoulder /lack of self worth stuff. Insulting people because you are not happy in your own skin.

Kfris66 · 26/07/2025 07:26

CommissarySushi · 26/07/2025 03:56

Quite often. I find most autistic people really annoying and difficult to be around to be honest. Obviously I don't make this apparent, but it's true.

Can I ask why?

EternalLodga · 26/07/2025 07:26

Its obvious within the first minute of meeting someone.
If its not obvious and they later tell me they are ND I assume they are selfdiagnosed or got their diagnosis from an "online provider"

Absentmindedsmile · 26/07/2025 07:27

EternalLodga · 26/07/2025 07:26

Its obvious within the first minute of meeting someone.
If its not obvious and they later tell me they are ND I assume they are selfdiagnosed or got their diagnosis from an "online provider"

💯

CommissarySushi · 26/07/2025 07:50

Kfris66 · 26/07/2025 07:26

Can I ask why?

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A difference in personality, I guess. I don't gel well with the rigidity that a lot of autistic people need. There's often a lot of single mindedness too, they can only see from one viewpoint and they're immovable from it.

I really struggle with the lack of flexibility and compromise. I grew up living with autistic family members and the feeling of walking on eggshells to avoid a meltdown is awful. Obviously I know not all autistic people are like this, but that's been my experience.

Confrontayshunme · 26/07/2025 07:56

I have worked as a carer for ND children and adults, and I wouldn't say I can spot it instantly, but there are some common childhood experiences that if someone says they experienced make me think about it. Also if I see a child with autism or ADHD, there is almost certainly some ND in the family. I also realised that my dad had autism long after I should have but it was mainly because I was trying to deal with abuse I suffered because of his choices.