If you are NT

[Ohwhatusernamethough]

Do you instantly recognise a ND person?

Sort of related to a thread on here currently, I find it quite fascinating.
I suspect I’m probably ND and wonder if NT people recognise an ND person pretty much immediately? If so, how, what do you see?

No and no and no... I mean, sometimes ppl say they are and I still can't tell and sometimes people don't say but somone else says about them they are ND and I think "yeah that makes sense" but could also think "I didn't know" but most importantly:

I don't know what to do with the information 99% of the time. Can't I just take people as I find them? Everybody is weird in a different way. I know people who think they are ultra conventional and yet I find them very unusual. Most people think of self as "I'm normal, it's rest of you that are weird" so basically, we're all weirdos to someone <shrug>

How though? What did you see?

How

Difficult to articulate but I suppose it’s noticing a combination of autistic traits in the other person; some subtle, some obvious. I am very into detail so I suspect I’m more likely than most to notice little things, but many autistic people say similar so it may be more woolly / amorphous than that.

Sorry, not the clearest answer.

It depends on their diversity and how far along the scale they are. Can normally tell autism pretty quickly. ADHD can be masked a little more easily.

What happens when home, how does she show being dysregulated?

I don't know how - just do. Maybe it's coincidence but l am always right.

I did say a few posts in that I was talking about Adhd & autism

I imagine you are using “far along the scale” as shorthand but some (autistic) people find this offensive. It’s a spectrum like a light array rather than like a knob on a cooker that turns from low to high.

I thought the replying with long tales about themselves was more ADHD than autism. I’m genuinely not disagreeing with you, just didn't realise that was an autistic trait too

i didn’t ask about how you find them boring. I asked about how you know they are NT.

Yes, it was laziness, apologies. I’m exhausted so shouldn’t have commented, the word ‘spectrum’ had completely evaporated from my mind.

Yes, this all over. Must admit that it's not my favourite 'superpower' as a ND person!

I’m kind of weirdly offended at the idea that someone can’t be ND and talk about boring surface-level topics in a passionless way

All of the ones I know have very specific interests and hobbies - myself and my 2 ND children included

so, anyone who doesn’t display that to you must be NT?

@IShouldNotCoco - not spreading crap. I know a lot of people who say they realise they are ND but they just accept it’s the way they are and they have found ways to deal with it. Not everyone seeks a diagnosis because it’s not that easy. My DS has dyslexia and dyspraxia and I had to go privately to get him diagnosed. School tests were useless.

Assuming that all ND presents in the same way is an annoying thing that some NT people do. It’s also annoying when ND people do it.

Majority I’d say.. do you have any specific interests? (Genuine question, not being contrary)

No, I'm quite neuromundane (some might say "boring", I won't contest it) and can't always tell quickly if someone is ND. Isolated traits not adding up to a diagnosis are common in the population.

I do, but I won’t necessarily display it up front to you. Because not all ND people are the same. (It would be obvious that I am ND for other reasons, but maybe you wouldn’t be able to see past my dull surface level chitchat)

I didnt say they were all the same but having a special interest is a common indicator within the diagnostic criteria.

I don’t have any special interests, although I can get quite obsessed about different things at different points in my life

Not necessarily. But I also don’t really buy into the idea of ‘neurodiversity’ in the sense that there are people who are NT and people who are ND. There are lots of types of people and some think differently than others and some find the world works more or less well the way it’s structured in our culture. I’m not sure it’s always helpful to slap a label on the person. I think we would be better off having a more flexible society where there is more options for everyone and not one sized fits all cookie cutter expectations. People are meant to be so much more diverse than we are willing to admit. You can have a really intense interest without being ND. Just like you can hate crowded spaces and loud noises. Or feel awkward meeting new people. These things are perfectly normal for everyone.

For example, absolutely everyone I know in their 40s is now being diagnosed with ADHD. Now do I think there is an actual condition called ADHD that some women have, sure. But I think the reality is that a lot of us are simply burnout out, overstimulated from constant doom scrolling, still reeling from having parented through COVID with small children at home, many people abusing substances of various sorts, trying to pretend that being stuck in front of a screen 12+ hours a day is normal from an evolutionary perspective. And then feeling like we have a diagnosable condition if we can’t cope with all that. It’s our lifestyle that is broken for lots of us, not our brains.

Sure, but that’s nothing to do with whether can identify someone as NT because they’re boring and superficial. I don’t care about offending NT people or anything, just don’t know how you know they are NT for sure without asking.