For saying Im not auto childcare because I don't have children?

[Trainfortwoplease]

Background - DH and I have been trying for a while with no success, apart from a recent first trimester miscarriage.

We have a trip planned with another 3 couples, which I've really been looking forward to. All other couples have children, ranging from 6 months > 3 years old. Its not our first trip, usually a mix of walks/Sunday lunches and bbqs. It will be the first trip since the latest couple had their first DC. All couples know DH and I are trying.

In the last few weeks there have been comments about how I'll have the job of being responsible and getting all the mums home from the pub, how DH and I can babysit all the kids and let the parents have a night off and I recently found out they are planning a trip for just the other 3 (like a Disneyland), but DH and I aren't invited because "that doesn't seem our thing". We weren't asked, just told.

Today there was another joke that on the upcoming trip I'll be watching the kids while the rest are at the pub. I replied on our group message with "ha ha, no thanks. I might have fertility issues but I still want to enjoy the trip with you all".

My friend has now messaged me separately, saying ive upset her husband (who i was responding too).

I have no plans to apologise, aibu?

@Trainfortwoplease if worried, you could report it to MN yourself and ask for deletion? You can come back on a new thread if you feel you want to update us and just reference it then …

Hope the conversations goes well, and have a nice holiday.

My heart really bleeds for you - can't believe what twats they have been. You've been a saint putting up with it. I hope you can repair your friendship with this couple.

This is probably the one thing that almost always amazes me on mums n , where do you find yourselves such " friends ".

The other is: I have never found another nation with more self entitled pass takers. How's that coming to be. Are you raised to believe that the world owes you

I hope it goes well. The fact that he reached out to your husband personally and fairly quicky and asked to do so in person gives me hope that he and his wife were just thoughtless, not entitled arseholes.

@Trainfortwoplease Just wanted to say that you’ve carried yourself with great dignity throughout what must have been an upsetting and stressful situation. It’s so disappointing to see people whom you thought were good friends for what they really are. I hope all goes well today with your peace-making friends. You and your DH seem switched-on enough to know if it’s genuine. Whatever life brings you (and I sincerely hope it’s a wee baby), you and he will face it together as a team. Wishing you and your DH every blessing.

Just to say you well done you for speaking up, the ‘friendship’ group sound like utter twats!! Your DH sounds lovely. Hate entitled people with kids thinking they can dump their brats on someone, just cause they don’t have their own kids. Greggs DH is a knob!!! I wouldn’t want friends like these

Excellent response!

Same.

These are not "jokes". They mean it. OP and her husband are only there to tag along and watch their children I would not be at all surprised if they would just dump the children with OP and run off before OP can protest.

Since when have adults not been allowed to go to theme parks unless they have kids

I think some theme parks don't allow adults without kids in? I seem to remember something about Legoland Manchester not letting in adults unless they had children with them?

Kindy, I think you need to get a grip. I don't think there's anything wrong with the parents with the kids wanting to go on a trip to Disneyland or similar and not invite OP. Just because they go on some trips together doesn't mean they have to go on all trips together. And maybe this was intentional because OP doesn't have kids and a trip like this is all about the kids and they don't want to hold back.**

I'm glad you've pulled out of the trip, and I hope things are salvageable with the couple who apologised.

The Greggs, on the other hand, can take all of their extra Gs and ggggo fuck themselves.

I hope you have a good discussion with our friends today and can move forward - with them at least. They might have an influence on the so- far silent ones. The others - well, I would not have stayed friends with them if I knew them.

Book a break and enjoy it.

Her husband can contact the nearest mental health crisis service over the subject. 🙄

Of course you shouldn't do forced childcare. Absolute piss takers they are and I'd advise to keep a wide berth till their kids are secondary age!

There was nothing kind about that

They sound like complete insensitive arseholes. I hope you can salvage things with couple 2, who sounds genuinely sorry (hopefully!). But the others are worth getting rid of.

Best of luck with your fertility journey, and I hope you have a lovely weekend away just you and hubby.

I know childless couples who have been to Disneyland. They aren't banned.

Your friends are cockwombles find some new ones asap
good luck with the fertility journey

There's always that person that thinks starting with "Kindly..." means they can just be a twat and no one minds isn't there!

Starting a message with 'kindly' or 'gently' is just so passive aggressive and patronising, and not kind or gentle at all.

I've been to the Harry Potter studios tour, and shock horror, it was full of adults without children, including my DH and me.

I mean it would have been lovely to have gone on holiday with friends with no children if they’d agreed to do some of the childcare and give me child free time, but that’s just a pipe dream.

i sure as hell wouldn’t have that as an expectation and then get upset when friends said they weren’t up for it.

It makes me think of friends where some drive and some don’t and the non drivers assuming the others are willing to be designated drivers who are assumed will forego driving just for their convenience.

Mr and mrs gregg sound horrid! I don’t have children but none of my friends would think it acceptable to joke about this and then have the audacity to get offended when you joke back! Your husband sounds a true gem! For city breaks away I can recommend Porto, it’s beautiful 😍 and the food is great and if you like port…other recommendation is Riga in Latvia, I loved it! Also going to Bucharest later in the year, the huge therme spa had me sold 😂

To be honest the silent ones can go and shove themselves in a hole too they are just as bad! Second couple hopefully they are sorry and you can salvage the friendship. But mr and mrs gregg and silent couple…..chuff them right off!

"ha ha, no thanks. I might have fertility issues but I still want to enjoy the trip with you all"

this is a funny line, perfect response

the husband is a dick

Also "I don't mean to be offensive, but..."