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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For thinking the details of my holiday are none of work's business

325 replies

Truffleshuffle84 · 25/07/2025 17:06

I work for a medium size company in he UK

Staff handbook says all leave must be agreed by your line manager and will be approved on the basis of business need and general staff numbers/ work coverage etc - all fine, been here for 8 years, never an issue. I'm in a team of 5 and collectively with our line manager we manage to get holidays to suit everyone etc.

Line manager left in June and we've got a new one from a different department, no issues, we all get on well.

But, I've asked for a week off in the autumn for the school holidays. LM replied asking when I was away and where was I going, I thought it was just a casual passing interest type question, replied with details of our plans.

They've now rejected my leave request because they don't think I'll be fit for work Monday returning from Tenerife on a Sunday on a flight that lands at 10.30pm (at an airport 20 mins from home).

I've not replied yet but AIBU for thinking it's up to me how I spend my annual leave and it's up to me to decide whether something is achievable whilst being ready for work the next day?

OP posts:
Namechangerage · 25/07/2025 23:16

Truffleshuffle84 · 25/07/2025 17:56

It's booked but only with a £60 pp deposit

The staff policy says annual leave must be approved by your LM and it says the annual leave may be rejected if there's a business need or staffing issue (or words to that effect). It's all a bit wooly.

I've checked with my colleagues as we always do before any of us request and there's no staffing issue for the week I'd like off.

LM replied to my request with:

"in accordance with the company policy there's a business need for you to be at work on the Monday and I don't believe you will be at full fitness to work after landing at 2230. Bearing in mind that assuming the flight isn't delayed, you'll likely be home much later than this, as such I unfortunately need to reject this leave request. Additionally I've reviewed the leave requests for the following week and we'll have 2 people from the team off for that week so you can't extend your leave to cover the Monday after your planned return. Please reconsider your travel plans and resubmit, I'm happy to approve this week off with different return times."

I'll take it up with HR on Monday.

I’d just tell her that you’ve changed the flight to get it approved. THEN I would email HR to find out the official policy on this (ie there isn’t one)

What a control freak - she sounds awful

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 25/07/2025 23:18

This is absolutely bonkers. It’s not for your manager to decide whether you’ll be fit for work.
For all they know you could be someone who regularly goes to bed at 1am or up all night with insomnia or ill children, or something else. What’s the cutoff time for landing that they’d deem acceptable? 8pm? 5pm? Even then there could be delays, hours of tailbacks getting home from the airport etc.
It’s just none of their business. It’s not normal to request this level of detail when approving annual leave.

Topseyt123 · 25/07/2025 23:21

Rosscameasdoody · 25/07/2025 21:36

Learn from what ? Experience of what ? Line manager has massively overstepped. Given that no-one else is off in the time OP has booked, the line manager has no right to assume that there will be any problems because of a late flight. And if OP isn’t going to change her plans she needs to confirm that the dates are booked.

Show quote history

Perhaps learn not to trust line manager again and be much more vague about holiday details and flight times?? That's what I think I would take away from it.

Line manager wasn't making friendly conversation, she was digging so that she could overstep her authority and OP will be wary of trusting her again.

This is ridiculous. As long as you at wton time the next morning all should be well. Challenge it all the way.

I like your written response and would absolutely send it.

Lifeofthepartay · 25/07/2025 23:31

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 25/07/2025 17:36

I would email your HR, cc’ing in your line manager, explain line manager has declined your leave request due to your return flight at 10:30pm the night before is too late, and ask how many hours before your Monday shift/start time you need to be back in the country as you are moving your flights and need to know what the company policy is.

This is great because I bet they do not have a policy on that!

OCDmama · 25/07/2025 23:34

Ask them when they're setting your bed time then, and how they'll be checking staff have turned their lights off for night nights at 10. Are they going to start tracking you all to ensure you're all in by curfew?

What a massive over reach.

samarrange · 25/07/2025 23:38

What a bizarre message from your manager. Do you have a 6am start on the Monday in sole charge of the National Grid, or perhaps the last person who OKs Trident nuclear missile launches?

ldgso · 25/07/2025 23:41

What a dick.

I can see how you assumed it was a casual conversation. But no, it’s absolutely none of her business why you’ve asked for annual leave, and she definitely cannot decline it based on that.

I wouldn’t bother emailing back and explaining yourself. She obviously thinks it’s acceptable to decline it for those reasons.

Forward her email onto HR and ask if this is an acceptable reason to refuse your leave. They will obviously say no, and then they can get in touch with her and let her know she will have to approve the leave.

whackamole666 · 25/07/2025 23:41

OMG, I haven't told my company I'm landing at 5 am and plan to work that day as well.

4forksache · 25/07/2025 23:48

Crazy.

i hope she is making sure that no one is clubbing and coming into work. Or even going to the pub for a few. After all, it might impact on their work…

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 26/07/2025 00:07

How embarrassing. For your LM.

she must be new to this.

what an idiot.

NurtureGrow · 26/07/2025 00:45

Truffleshuffle84 · 25/07/2025 17:56

It's booked but only with a £60 pp deposit

The staff policy says annual leave must be approved by your LM and it says the annual leave may be rejected if there's a business need or staffing issue (or words to that effect). It's all a bit wooly.

I've checked with my colleagues as we always do before any of us request and there's no staffing issue for the week I'd like off.

LM replied to my request with:

"in accordance with the company policy there's a business need for you to be at work on the Monday and I don't believe you will be at full fitness to work after landing at 2230. Bearing in mind that assuming the flight isn't delayed, you'll likely be home much later than this, as such I unfortunately need to reject this leave request. Additionally I've reviewed the leave requests for the following week and we'll have 2 people from the team off for that week so you can't extend your leave to cover the Monday after your planned return. Please reconsider your travel plans and resubmit, I'm happy to approve this week off with different return times."

I'll take it up with HR on Monday.

This is shocking!! YANBU

I presume you are not a paramedic etc, but if you expect to be fit for work, you will be fit for work! We’re all adults!

RobinEllacotStrike · 26/07/2025 01:00

Truffleshuffle84 · 25/07/2025 17:56

It's booked but only with a £60 pp deposit

The staff policy says annual leave must be approved by your LM and it says the annual leave may be rejected if there's a business need or staffing issue (or words to that effect). It's all a bit wooly.

I've checked with my colleagues as we always do before any of us request and there's no staffing issue for the week I'd like off.

LM replied to my request with:

"in accordance with the company policy there's a business need for you to be at work on the Monday and I don't believe you will be at full fitness to work after landing at 2230. Bearing in mind that assuming the flight isn't delayed, you'll likely be home much later than this, as such I unfortunately need to reject this leave request. Additionally I've reviewed the leave requests for the following week and we'll have 2 people from the team off for that week so you can't extend your leave to cover the Monday after your planned return. Please reconsider your travel plans and resubmit, I'm happy to approve this week off with different return times."

I'll take it up with HR on Monday.

Bloody hell this is excessive.

never tell her details of anything again. None of their business what you do on holiday or on time off.

good luck sorting it op.

Isitreallysohard · 26/07/2025 01:02

That's insane. It's not like you're flying in at 4am, and even if you were I'm sure you'd manage.

ReadingTime · 26/07/2025 01:20

That’s really weird from her. I think your planned reply is a bit aggressive though and might make her want to dig her heels in. You could try sending something that comes across as super reasonable, while also pointing out how weird her thought process is:

Hi xx
Thanks for your reply. I’d like to reassure you that I’m confident I’ll be fit for work as normal on the Monday. The flight gets in at 22:30 and I live around 20 minutes from the airport, so I’m comfortable with that timing and the impact on my ability to work.

While I understand the importance of being well-rested, I believe it’s reasonable to expect employees to manage their own rest and recovery time outside of working hours. We’re generally trusted to make those decisions ourselves.
I’ve also checked with the team and there’s no clash in leave for that week, so cover will be in place. I’d appreciate it if you could approve the request as submitted—please let me know if it needs to be resubmitted.

Best regards,

lemoncurd2025 · 26/07/2025 01:24

Crazy. I often don’t go to bed until 1am anyway!
and as for delayed flights - I’ve been in a position where our flight ended up delayed and then cancelled for 72hrs so I wouldn’t have made it to work no matter how early the flight was

HotCrossBunplease · 26/07/2025 01:32

Insane (unless you are going to drip feed that you are a pilot or an air traffic controller!)

What an idiot she is.

OnTheBoardwalk · 26/07/2025 01:33

She actually declined your leave, that’s totally not on

yes things can happen when you are travelling, delays, volcano's whatever you deal with it at the time. Staying up late on a Sunday is also allowed you don't have a work bedtime

i had CIO who kicked off with everyone who was stranded after the volcano eruption. He said him and his wife managed to get home with the eruption so everyone else who didn’t was taking the piss

Him and his wife paid £6k to get home from France I think. Not many people can afford that. HR wiped the floor with him and his comments and worked with the people stranded. You can’t book for these things

MsAmerica · 26/07/2025 01:36

Wow, is that legal?

Isitreallysohard · 26/07/2025 02:04

ReadingTime · 26/07/2025 01:20

That’s really weird from her. I think your planned reply is a bit aggressive though and might make her want to dig her heels in. You could try sending something that comes across as super reasonable, while also pointing out how weird her thought process is:

Hi xx
Thanks for your reply. I’d like to reassure you that I’m confident I’ll be fit for work as normal on the Monday. The flight gets in at 22:30 and I live around 20 minutes from the airport, so I’m comfortable with that timing and the impact on my ability to work.

While I understand the importance of being well-rested, I believe it’s reasonable to expect employees to manage their own rest and recovery time outside of working hours. We’re generally trusted to make those decisions ourselves.
I’ve also checked with the team and there’s no clash in leave for that week, so cover will be in place. I’d appreciate it if you could approve the request as submitted—please let me know if it needs to be resubmitted.

Best regards,

I like this but I'd only put in the middle paragraph. I don't think you need to reassure her, you're an adult (unless you have some serious job as a paramedic as PP said. Or you have form for taking leave of being bad at your job).

While I understand the importance of being well-rested, I believe it’s reasonable to expect employees to manage their own rest and recovery time outside of working hours. We’re generally trusted to make those decisions ourselves.

Isitreallysohard · 26/07/2025 02:06

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 26/07/2025 00:07

How embarrassing. For your LM.

she must be new to this.

what an idiot.

Yep. At the very least she could've had a conversation with you. I'd go back to her first, but if she doenst budge take it up with her boss or HR. Fkin ridiculous

Relaxd · 26/07/2025 02:30

Assuming you work Monday to Fridays I would remind HR that your leave request is from Monday to Friday. What you do at the weekend including any private travel arrangements on those days is not relevant to company policy unless you have a habit of regularly turning up late or calling in sick on Mondays (which I assume you do not).

Icecreamhelps · 26/07/2025 02:30

BunnyLake · 25/07/2025 18:39

I’ve never heard such nonsense. What next, a memo to all staff telling them they must be in bed and lights out by 10pm latest on work nights!

It probably won't be long. I'm due back soon off holiday my manager messaged me to remind me to eat breakfast 😑

sleepeasie · 26/07/2025 02:47

If this was me I’d be able to exactly follow my usual sleep routine while taking that flight - a few hours sleep early evening in my clothes (on the plane on this occasion ) and then a second sleep after midnight. I’ve been working for years like this. Or you could like many people in hot countries have a siesta on the Sunday afternoon. It’s really quite bonkers isn’t it, even if work had the right to police sleep you could perfectly well get all the sleep you need. After a week off you would still hopefully be better relaxed and rested than if you haven’t been away, even with the travel.

My first thought was did your line manager want to book that week and can’t if you’re away?

topcat2014 · 26/07/2025 03:05

Plus like 90% of us workers I imagine your work is some variation of typing, rather than surgery etc.

Who cares if you are a bit tired?

I fly back from Canada tomorrow and expect to be Jet lagged for a week. Is no one to be allowed long haul holidays now?

PootlePerkinandPosie · 26/07/2025 03:17

I like the reply to hr asking what time you need to be back in the country!

I resent being asked what reason leave is for! I often just put something banal like to rest and recharge, time with family or diy etc. Maybe it's different if flights are booked or you're goimg to a wedding or something immovable. Surely that's all they need to know?