Class rep didn't include all kids names in the end of year card

[Whydiddnt]

Aibu to be mortified?

The class rep organised a whip around for the end of term teacher gift. Not everyone chipped in for various reasons however, the vast majority did.

I've just found out that the rep only listed the children whom contributed in the card, instead of writing it from the full class.

Is it just me that finds this mean and horrible? Why would anyone leave out a couple of children who's parents probably couldn't afford to chip in.

It wouldn't have taken any extra effort to address the gift from the whole class. It's not the children's fault that their parents couldn't afford it. I really hope those poor kids were none of the wiser.

Oh please! 🙄 quite an extreme scenario of a family wirh school age children not having one piece of paper and some colouring pencils.

It's heartbreaking that it is sometimes true.

When the kids are taught to analysis English writing in high school they are taught to look for words which give clues to what the writer is thinking as a way of trying to understand the text.

One of the first things they are taught is as a starting point to focus on words that jump out at them - you have used the word 'worthy' which is not something I have ever seen in someone writing about a school issue so I was wondering if it had special context to you. You also use a very combative tone like 'pin' on me. I find that people who tend to be combative verbally usually do so because they are feeling vulnerable - if someone is feeling vulnerable they naturally feel they need to protect themselves so might attack before they are attacked sort of thing. Kind of like throwing the first punch I guess.

I care about kids who are vulnerable and don't have as many opportunities as others. Life to me is all about opportunity and choice and sadly some kids / people don't get that; so I get why this subject is upsetting to you - I guess I was just trying to help you work out why some of your answers to others is so combative - what is triggering you to be this way. I think its deeper than how you think these three kids would feel if they even know they have been left off the card.

I’m genuinely dubious about people who ‘can’t afford this’. I say this as someone on multiple school runs who has a daily chit chat with lots of people who live in council houses and who claim disability benefits and enjoy a friendly chit chat outside the gate over a fag/vape to anyone passing. We don’t do class rep stuff here, but they’ve made it very clear to me that they don’t participate in stuff like a very cheap bouncy castle after school because ‘they can’t be a’ and want to go straight home, not because they can’t afford the £1. They absolutely would not be badgered into these type of group things even though they objectively don’t have much money, but because they are anti this type of ‘forced’ stuff.

Just a reminder, the very idea that someone thought this was worth posting as a complaint on any forum is a sad joke.

The kids won't know and the teacher probably won't be bothered so no actual harm done but it does highlight how petty the class rep is. It's actually more effort for them to work out the list of children to write down than it is the whole class. At least you have learned something about how this person thinks.

Maybe she just put the names down one at a time as they handed her the money. Anyway, it doesn't actually matter.

It is very petty. It’s not like a work collection where you pop money in and sign the card. This is a defined class of children, a cohort. As such, it feels like children have been singled out.

Yes true, I didn't think of that.

I suppose you also think that they should get full marks for homework as it’s not the child’s fault that there’s no writing materials in the house to do homework with. And all the children should get placed in grammar schools, because again it’s not the child’s fault that there’s parents can’t afford the fees. And clothing, all kids clothes should be ‘Asda price’ as it’s not the kids fault that their parents can’t parents can’t afford Dior clothes.
geez 🙄

Nah. If you chip in your name is on the card. If you don't chip in, then no it's not. That's not complicated.

I have no idea what any of that rant means 🤷
By the way - you don't pay fees for Grammar schools. They're state schools.

So none of the children's names then?
Because I doubt any of them were the ones who paid.

Have you actually spoken to the class rep about this instead of whinging about it on here? Let them know you’ll do it next time as you can do such a better job.

I was a class rep and added names and messages based on who had wanted to be included, not based on who gave.
I said on the whatts app group 'this is link to donate if you wish. And if you would like me to put a message in card from your child please message me individually' making it clear that could add a message without donating. I felt it was a lot more personal to have lots of individual message rather than the generic 'from oak class'

This. Class reps give their free time to do a job that sometimes involves having to deal with entitled parents who have nothing better to worry them.

Absolutely this.

Shoosh now, you're being sensible when the OP wants desperately to be a saviour to underprivileged children who have been horribly damaged by not having their name added to a teacher's card. You have no idea of the privations these children have had to endure!

The OP said she was the rep in a previous year.

You're not wrong. Have you ever read Kurt J Vonnegut's 1961 story Harrison Bergman? It is about a society that enforces sameness at any cost, if you are prettier, more clever, more athletic, have a better job, a nicer house, that can't be allowed because otherwise those around you will feel bad and deserve the exact same as you, regardless.

The "Nobody must ever feel a moment of discomfort at someone else having something they don't have" brigade would probably see it as a fairy tale ending.

I missed that, well fair enough then I guess she has earned the right to complain, even if she sounds a bit of a fruit loop by doing so.

As a teacher, I can't say that I would notice a few names missing. I would likely just accept that it's from the class.

Our class does this, it’s a standard 25 per child. Well known in advance. It’s about £2 a month. Every single parent contributes.
maybe some parent just do a card ? Or their own gift? I think those who contributed should only go on the card.

Lots of so called grammar schools are fee paying schools.

If you're going to try and be clever and pick holes, at least do it with knowledge.

Totally agree.

Having been a “class rep”, it’s pretty annoying to be chasing people for a contribution then those who haven’t bothered to be up in arms about not being included. Well no, you weren’t because you opted to not be - for whatever the reason!!!