Friend upset because of a comment I made about renting

[scarystories]

Last week, I caught up with a close friend and we started talking about pensions. This topic came up because I recently started a new job and chose to opt out of the private pension scheme. I've always made this choice for various reasons that I won't bore you with, it’s a personal decision that suits me. However, I completely understand why others would choose to have one. Of course, I might live until I'm 90 and end up eating beans on toast every day, who knows? But that's my issue, not anyone else's.

Anyway, I told my friend that I wasn't worried and was hopeful that my mortgage would be paid off in the next 20-30 years, so I wouldn't have to worry about that monthly expense. I mentioned that it's harder for people who rent, as that bill will always be there. This comment upset her because she rents, and she felt I was looking down on her. That was not my intention (I actually rented for 7 years before buying my house). I was only stating a fact: rent is a constant expense, whereas a mortgage eventually ends.

Was I wrong? Should I apologise?

Well I rent and you've upset me terribly. I always assumed a free house would magically appear on my 67th birthday.

You were a bit tactless.
It’s always wise to think about what we say first so that we avoid offending people.

The next 40 years will flyby, you should reconsider having a pension. You’ll live to regret it if you don’t.

@EarthlyNightshade it was a general comment, not aimed at her.

😂😂 this did make me laugh, thank you

Surely you should buy a house within your means then?

Well it sounds like her friend was passing comment on her pension choice and OP was replying with a frame of reference, I own a property, my financial position will improve when I'm older. If you want to debate people's financial position you have to accept that it may reflect on the merits of all your choices or position too.

I dont understand why your friend is offended, its just factual isnt it!

@AllyDally erm, I did? Unfortunately, I can’t control house prices or mortgage rates (really wish I could 😢). You do know that lenders check if you can afford things, right? They wouldn't have let me buy the house if they thought I couldn't afford the mortgage payments.

Yes they do.Obviously, it depends on savings and income, pensioners on low incomes have always claimed housing benefit and pension credit and other benefits throughout their life.
I just don’t understand, why it’s ok to slate people who claim benefits, only aiming at people of working age, when a high percentage of pensioners also claim benefits.Get a pension that they didn’t contribute to.

Sorry I must have misunderstood, I thought you had never paid into a pension. If you have had to stop paying in due to interest rates increasing then that is understandable of course. The increases in real money terms are horrendous.

Is it though? If you own, but don't have the money for maintenance and repair, doesn't it make retirement much harder because you are forced to live in a house with a leaky roof, heating that doesn't work properly and mold on the walls and ceiling?

Ducks behind the couch to hide from people who own instead of renting

@AllyDally No, I bought my house and the interest rate was high right from the start. This happened right after mortgage rates increased. It wasn't something I could control, unless I chose not to buy the house and kept renting instead, which would have meant the possibility of the landlord raising the rent or selling the property anyway. I bought one of the cheapest houses in the area (aside from a caravan).

Some countries can’t understand why the British are so caught up in home ownership. Is it the Germans who mostly rent? There’s pros and cons to both. Obviously your friend took it the wrong way but maybe she’s had a bad experience.

Some countries can’t understand why the British are so caught up in home ownership. Is it the Germans who mostly rent?

The UK actually has lowever than average home ownership based on wider European statistics, although admittedly it is lower in Germany:

https://www.statista.com/statistics/246355/home-ownership-rate-in-europe/

No one likes a brag, are you known for your one upmanship?

You should advertise to take in a lodger and use the money to get a pension.

I hardly think it’s bragging to admit you have no financial plan for the future and no pension. Sounds like her friend will be much better off despite being “only a renter.”

But if that were the case then the price of houses would adjust down until it made financial sense to own the asset. That’s just economics. If I would be better off renting (in all scenarios, not just through convenience) then by definition the price of houses would be unviable, no one would purchase them. So they would reduce down.

as an aside, where it does become better to rent, is if you’re on benefits since the government will pay your rent but won’t pay to maintain your property.

sorry - just reread your post and you weren’t making a general point (which I was responding to) and yes you could be right, ironically, op could be better off with no house and on pension credit whilst renting (if she has no private pension)

I wouldn’t apologise for stating a fact, to be honest.

If she’s touchy about being a renter that’s on her. And I’m a renter too.

There are a lot of people who will go to great lengths to see something as a personal slight, when it clearly wasn't intended that way at all. It must be an exhausting way to live. If anything, you were sympathising with people who rent. But people who are crippled by their own insecurities will always assume others are looking down on them, regardless of what you say or don't say.

I think you were tactless. With that being said, it is not guaranteed you will in a better position. Unfortunately, lots of people have to retire early due to ill health and if don't have a decent pension, it will hard to maintain your property.

No. She is oversensitive. People should be able to hear someone else's point of view without getting huffy as we are all entitled to our point of view so long as it is polite and not targeted or spiteful. This shows how immature she is and that it is a very sensitive spot for her.

That’s a brilliant tool!

looking at it… the wealthiest European countries seem to have lower levels of home ownership abs the poorest countries seem to have highest levels of ownership… I know the quality of life in Denmark. Finland. Switzerland. Sweden is very high and standards of all homes is very high. (I was born and grew up in Finland). Renting is these countries is more affordable and the quality you receive is miles better than Uk. Also, renting is more secure - in UK you can be evicted on no fault after 6-12 months and rental sector is unregulated. Aka rents can rise and rise.

@Auroraloves in what way did I brag? By saying I hope my mortgage is paid off but that I won’t have a pension? Yep, bragging…

@BeltaLodaLife unfortunately not possible, house is a 1 bedroom.