Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

[INFJismyvibe]

Bit of backstory - we've been having an extension done on the house, it's taken well over the agreed time (almost a year over) but we've been mainly patient about it. Builders have been dumping stuff in our garden, making it unusable for the most part. Everything was overgrown as I've been unable to mow the lawn or trim down the bushes, but I've been OK with that. I knew that once they cleared their crap from the garden, I could get back to gardening and sort it out. My garden had some beautiful, well established plants and fruit trees, and some taller bushes that worked as an extra privacy screen, which we really need from our neighbours. Without those, the neighbours can see into my kitchen.

Some of the plants were of sentimental value, gifts from my mum, a plum tree growing from a cutting that my aunt gave me, from my grandma's garden, etc.

The building work has meant I've been unable to use my garden - which was my sanctuary - this summer and last summer.

Anyway, on to current day.
I've been away on holiday with my (older) kids. Dh stayed home for various reasons.

Builder has been in, finishing up on the house. His dad came along (he sometimes helps builder out on projects) and asked Dh if he's OK to clear the garden. Dh naturally assumed he meant all their builder's mess - bags of cement, wood palettes, etc etc. I've been saying for a while that I can't wait for all that to go so that I can tidy up the garden and even be able to access the washing line again.
So Dh said yes please clear it up, and then left for work.

The guy brought in a team of men and they removed everything. Every single plant, bush, tree. Completely removed the lawn (which, to be fair, was riddled with weeds and needed returfing anyway).

But it's completely bare.

All my beautiful beautiful plants, my sentimental ones, my privacy ones. All gone.

Dh didn't tell me until the car journey home as he didn't want to ruin my holiday. But i've just returned home a couple of hours ago, and I'm absolutely devastated. Don't even care about the rest of the work thats been done while I was gone. Struggling to even talk to Dh about holiday or anything else. Completely ruined my return home.

I know some may say, ah it's just plants.... But they cost so much money and effort and time, and can't be replaced just like that. I'm going to have to spend hundreds to fill it up again, and it's going to take years for them to establish. And it needs so much extra work and attention now.

Gutted. Aibu for feeling this way.

Any advice? What do I say to the builder? Dh didn't say anything at the time as he hates confrontation but wtaf?!! And now the builder will think I'm being unreasonable. But it was my sanctuary, my space, my privacy.

Ps please forgive any spelling errors, I've barely slept.
.

We were trying to reorganise the garden of a house we had bought, nothing was growing well and there were several mounds of stone made to look like rockeries. Underneath quite a lot of the garden we found a lot of buried rubble, some of it was from done work on the house over the years but some was obviously much older and included broken crockery, tins and glass from the 19th century and onwards we think, clay pipes and so on.

In the end we (or rather long-suffering DH) dug it all up and we carted it off to the tip. Of course this was in the days when you could take this sort of rubbish to the tip, now they would probably charge you a fortune to do this. We had to buy some big bags of topsoil (sadly full of weeds, another story) to add to the beds as once the rubble had gone there wasn't much of anything left.
The soil in that garden was very poor so the new topsoil probably wasn't a bad idea anyway, though we really should have added much more then and have been adding it ever since.

Hi Op,
sorry about your garden.
i love gardening and in your position would also feel devastated.

as someone has already advised, wait for end of summer/start of winter sales.
i got some nice 3L perennials pots like verbenas, Rudbeckia really cheaply and still had some colour for the winter/ interest for early winter.

what are your favourite plants?
for me my favourite annual- Cosmo ( grew mine from seed the first time this year), calendulas osteospermum, Nigella love in the mist and Night Scented stock.
if you put winter hardy seeds out in October you will have early colour in Spring.

my favourite perennials
erysimum bowls ( I planted them last October and they grew really quickly and flower for long time.
my verbena also grew from seed and is very tall
erigerons are amazing too and self seed.

ignore the unkind people

I would be inconsolable if I were you. How devastating. Ask the builder if they maybe have the plants in a skip somewhere, there's an outside chance you could maybe salvage some if so.

Yanbu, I didn't really understand when we were looking to purchase houses why some used established mature garden as a selling point, till I was started a boarder from scratch and like you say you have to either spend a lot to get a massive shrub at a sensible height or buy small and wait literally years for it to be full height with lots of love and care. I would be upset too in your situation. If the garden wasn't even part of the build I can't see why they would ask if you wanted it done.

Unbelievable!I think he kept the plants and trees for himself or sold them. It isn't just a question of a fee flower beds. Ask him to replace them.

My landlord's gardeners chopped half of my pear tree down because 'it was in the way' when they were mowing the lawn.

I cried so OP I cannot imagine my whole garden going.

Sorry for delay, I've been away.

Easy - I tried to plant some plants. The garden is terraced, so there should be about 6 feet of soil. There was not. There is not enough root space for anything except the most shallow growing things....

The builders were VERY keen to do the garden first, despite DH's sensible arguements to the contrary. Now we know why. (They walked off the job in the end and folded the company, before anyone suggests suing).

If this is the person I know in RL, and everything tallies up…. Then this wasn’t razoring the garden to the ground in any shape or form!! The garden was unloved pre builder’s rubbish, then became a a shit show of a mess post builder’s mess and now is exactly the same as pre rubbish, but just looks a damn sight more tatty.

I think you've got the wrong person here. My garden was stunning before. Now it's literally down to bare soil. If you know me IRL you'll be able to tell me what my favourite feature in the garden was 😊

So what’s the update then Op? How did it go with the builders?

I haven’t the foggiest what your favourite garden feature is 😆

Your garden was “stunning before” it has been used as a dumping ground by the builders who overran by a year (so goodness knows how long they were on the job for in total). So your garden was “stunning” years ago and wasn’t touched since.

You definitely dont know me IRL in that case. Very few people have actually seen my garden as only a handful of close family/friends visit. So you're obviously not one of those people.

Just wanted to clarify that you've obviously got me mixed up with someone else.

For those asking for update, the plants unfortunately couldn't be rescued but we are being reimbursed quite massively, which is allowing me to purchase new plants and start again. It's a lot of hard work still, but it's doable, and hopefully will be lovely by next summer.

Thank you to everyone who replied with constructive help, it really did help get me through the situation with a slightly more positive outlook.

They've been on the job a year, the garden was stunning last year, the lawn became a dumping ground within that time. The plants/trees/shrubs all around were still beautiful, just overgrown. Now there are no plants (well, there are stumps) and all green has been removed.

You said they had “overran by a year”

Op so everyone who knows you in RL, no matter how tenuous the link, knows your favourite garden feature?!!

we've been having an extension done on the house, it's taken well over the agreed time (almost a year over)

so almost a year overran
so how long on the project in total

and during this project, garden used as dumping ground, but somehow all plants and lawn etc escaped unscathed

Yep

Oh Op 😆

Yes Sherlock! I didn't say they've been dumping stuff in the garden for over a year.

❤️❤️❤️

So they only started dumping stuff in the final stages of a project that took… years?

still giggling at thought that everyone no matter how tenuously they know you… knows your favourite garden feature!!

Aw glad I gave you a giggle. If you knew me IRL as you initially claimed, you'd get it. It's just something very unique that everyone really loves about my garden. But hey, I'm so glad it made you happy.