Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

[INFJismyvibe]

Bit of backstory - we've been having an extension done on the house, it's taken well over the agreed time (almost a year over) but we've been mainly patient about it. Builders have been dumping stuff in our garden, making it unusable for the most part. Everything was overgrown as I've been unable to mow the lawn or trim down the bushes, but I've been OK with that. I knew that once they cleared their crap from the garden, I could get back to gardening and sort it out. My garden had some beautiful, well established plants and fruit trees, and some taller bushes that worked as an extra privacy screen, which we really need from our neighbours. Without those, the neighbours can see into my kitchen.

Some of the plants were of sentimental value, gifts from my mum, a plum tree growing from a cutting that my aunt gave me, from my grandma's garden, etc.

The building work has meant I've been unable to use my garden - which was my sanctuary - this summer and last summer.

Anyway, on to current day.
I've been away on holiday with my (older) kids. Dh stayed home for various reasons.

Builder has been in, finishing up on the house. His dad came along (he sometimes helps builder out on projects) and asked Dh if he's OK to clear the garden. Dh naturally assumed he meant all their builder's mess - bags of cement, wood palettes, etc etc. I've been saying for a while that I can't wait for all that to go so that I can tidy up the garden and even be able to access the washing line again.
So Dh said yes please clear it up, and then left for work.

The guy brought in a team of men and they removed everything. Every single plant, bush, tree. Completely removed the lawn (which, to be fair, was riddled with weeds and needed returfing anyway).

But it's completely bare.

All my beautiful beautiful plants, my sentimental ones, my privacy ones. All gone.

Dh didn't tell me until the car journey home as he didn't want to ruin my holiday. But i've just returned home a couple of hours ago, and I'm absolutely devastated. Don't even care about the rest of the work thats been done while I was gone. Struggling to even talk to Dh about holiday or anything else. Completely ruined my return home.

I know some may say, ah it's just plants.... But they cost so much money and effort and time, and can't be replaced just like that. I'm going to have to spend hundreds to fill it up again, and it's going to take years for them to establish. And it needs so much extra work and attention now.

Gutted. Aibu for feeling this way.

Any advice? What do I say to the builder? Dh didn't say anything at the time as he hates confrontation but wtaf?!! And now the builder will think I'm being unreasonable. But it was my sanctuary, my space, my privacy.

Ps please forgive any spelling errors, I've barely slept.
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Has he dug everything out? Some might grow back.

I can totally understand how you are feeling, coming back to that.

Im sorry but given the build is a year late, it seems the only thing done quickly is ruining your garden.

I don’t understand that your DH never once viewed the garden mid digging and seeing established trees that would’ve taken some time to remove being dug up and stopped any more damage being done.

What rooms overlook your garden, did he never look out of those and see clearing the garden meant more than the rubble etc being removed, which again would’ve meant time taken.

Is your DH saying all this work from very slow builders took just one day and he never noticed? Or he never once looked in the garden for progress.

Sorry, your DH took his eye off the ball with all this.

But very upsetting for you, end of the build at last and you’re upset at the result. Understandably.

Id definitely take photographic evidence especially if you have photos of the garden before they started work.

what have they left in place of all the mature trees, did they use a tree stump grinder or just chainsaw them to the ground. That sounds as extreme as you can possibly get.

Id consider taking them to the small claims court, or at least get some legal advice. The photos will be useful to show the extremes of what they've done,

Presumably DH was out at work

OP, this is devastating and you need time and space to grieve. You are grieving for something beautiful and sentimental that you loved and gave you joy, and that was suddenly and unexpectedly destroyed. It is way too early to "look for positives": those will come with time. Right now there are no positives: you have suffered a loss of something dear to you and need to process it at your own pace.

I would tell your DH you don't need ideas or solutions, that you just need understanding and support to deal with how you feel. He can help by dealing with the builder himself if this is too much for you right now, and holding your space for you.

I fully understand how you feel. I am so sorry your beautiful garden was destroyed. You won't lose your memories of it, and one day you will be able to look back and still remember the joy you felt instead of focusing only on the pain of its loss. But until that day comes, it will hurt. Allow yourself to feel the hurt and cry. Give yourself some moments of rage for how unnecessary it was, and some moments to just think "it's not fair!". Sit on the ground where your beloved plants were and remember them. Say goodbye to them and wish for some of them to grow back. Let yourself feel the air around you and the ground beneath your body. Tell them you loved them, and thank them for the joy they brought to you, and how sorry you are that they are gone.

Big hugs xxx

Why on earth did the builder do that . No one in their right might clears up by removing a garden . Totally awful and I’d be livid to

I would be considering some kind of legal action tbh.
If it wasn’t included in the work agreed; wasn’t paid for; then essentially it’s theft! Did your DH actually agree to it??? You need to know exactly what was said.

Also what are they expecting you to do now? Re landscape the garden from scratch?? What a bizarre thing. Are they hoping you will pay them to do it?? I can’t understand why they would do this.

You need to know exactly what was said. I would ring the builder and ask why they did it and hear their response; make notes or record it.

Then, assuming DH hadn’t said ‘please clear the garden of all plants and trees back to bare earth’, I would seek legal advice.

Then based on what they said; I would either go to court, or I would threaten that to the builder and seek damages avoiding court.

So sorry this has happened to you.. I would feel the same. Your builder sounds v unprofessional x

But as I said, this must’ve taken more than one day to clear the builders rubbish, remove a number of established trees, a lawn etc.

He didn’t look out after work? Or before work the next day? To at least lessen the destruction?

I literally said did it really only take one day in my original post.

What was your DH doing while they were ripping the garden out? Didn't he check what they were doing? I can't believe it's a quick job to rip out plants and shrubs so what did he think the builder's dad was doing?
I'd ask firmly for money off. Really it should be two discounts. One for the length of time and one for destroying your garden.
It's very sad about his wife but it doesn't change what's happened.

Why on earth would the builder do this and why on earth haven’t you said anything yet?!

I'm wondering if DH just hated the garden. Maybe he has plans for a man cave to be erected where your plum tree once stood.

This is cruel and completely unnecessary.

Consumer law defaults to your interpretation in the event of a "misunderstanding" (which this wasnt). On what planet does clear the garden mean destroy it and leave it bare, when you're a builder, not a landscaper?

What did your quote/invoice say? Often they put "clear rubbish and tidy" or something. But even "clear garden" wouldn't mean "take and dispose of my established trees and lawn".

You can knock off the cost of the damage. Think about it. If you brought him in to extend the back of your house, and he took it upon himself to remove one of your front windows (and not replace it!) and took down a wall along your front garden sobyou have no boundary structure, not only would you not pay him for unauthorised work but he'd be liable for what is legally considered damage.

I do agree that they've done "extra" to inflate the final bill, which says cowboy to me anyway. But even if they don't bill you, he's damaged your property at substantial cost to you, so offsetting it against the bill is the only remedy.

His wife is being moved to a hospice for palliative care….You’re beside yourself with grief over plants….Mumsnet classic and look at the Pimms O'clock responses lol.

Honestly, Im sure its your pride and joy but its just a garden, its just plants, in the grand scheme of life and of all things tragic that could happen to someone, its a shame but its not a tragedy. Its happened. It was a mistake not by design, he thought he was helping. Redesign your garden and plant some flowers.

i remember the days when Mumsnet was really not like this.

A complete garden clearance like this is going to take a lot of time and effort, and generate several loads of waste. What was your husband doing and how did he not notice this before it was finished? 🤨

What the hell!

I think you should contact the gardener and say, "When we said clear the garden, we meant clear up the building mess, not rip out all the plants. What on earth were you thinking? We now need to buy new plants which is going to cost a lot of money. Some of them had great sentimental value and cannot be replaced."

Is there a final payment due? I would price up the cost of replacing the plants and say you're deducting it from the final invoice.

This is awful, I would be so upset!

But your DH should have said something at the time when he came back and saw what had happened! If it’s only been a couple of days, start talking to the builders now and try to sort something- even if just compensation.

What a nightmare 😢

Depend how big the garden is. If they had a digger or a minidigger it would take no time at all

Given the whole thing is running a year late ….. ??

I am sure OP will clarify if this element was done efficiently and swiftly compared to the rest of the build, if so they need the Dad to teach them how to project manage.

This is interesting, because as a consumer I would assume that builders, who are not plant specialists, would literally clear the garden, as in this case. If I'd hired landscapers however, I'd expect them to discriminate.

The only person there, the DH, said it was a misunderstanding, so I think he dropped the ball and agreed that they should clear the garden. Both parties had a different understanding of this, and the builder carried out a builder's garden clearance, as he'd been instructed. It really does depend on the scope of works, which only OP knows what was included.

I'm sorry for OP, as this is understandably upsetting.

He's either stupid or he's using them himself/selling them on. It just doesn't make sense why he would do that without even checking with your DH first. You need to confront him about it OP.

Didn't DH notice, I think I would have noticed if trees and bushes were being chopped down and there would be loads of waste. Next door had some trees chopped down and it looked like a big job.

Clearly things were not properly discussed but honestly as someone who was a professional gardener many years try and keep it in perspective. It won’t take years and it won’t cost hundreds. Go on some free sites and facebook pages for plants. People are always giving stuff away. Many plants can grow several feet in a season and will make a fast screen. Yes you’ve lost sentimental plants but have they been cut down so will regrow, or completely dug out? Honestly, this isn’t as bad as it might feel at the moment. You’ll be surprised how fast and how easily you can establish a garden. I’ve done it from nothing several times. You just need the right sort of plants.

I can understand your upset, but I can also see that it was a misunderstanding. Hopefully he is not charging you for that part, as he could take you to small claims if you don’t pay as technically you agreed to ‘clear the garden’. I find it very odd though that anyone would think clear the garden meant pulling out established plants and trees, and the turf.

If his wife has been moved to a hospice I think the decent thing to do is wait a few weeks. But I doubt he is going to pay you for new plants, and if you don’t pay him in full you could be taken to small claims.

Unfortunately, I don't think things were made clear to the builder. He cleared the garden, which is what it was agreed he would do. Your idea of that and his are clear every different, but that is what's been done. He hasn't actually done wrong, he's followed instructions. I think you'll just have to move on and make plans for the new look garden.