Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

[INFJismyvibe]

Bit of backstory - we've been having an extension done on the house, it's taken well over the agreed time (almost a year over) but we've been mainly patient about it. Builders have been dumping stuff in our garden, making it unusable for the most part. Everything was overgrown as I've been unable to mow the lawn or trim down the bushes, but I've been OK with that. I knew that once they cleared their crap from the garden, I could get back to gardening and sort it out. My garden had some beautiful, well established plants and fruit trees, and some taller bushes that worked as an extra privacy screen, which we really need from our neighbours. Without those, the neighbours can see into my kitchen.

Some of the plants were of sentimental value, gifts from my mum, a plum tree growing from a cutting that my aunt gave me, from my grandma's garden, etc.

The building work has meant I've been unable to use my garden - which was my sanctuary - this summer and last summer.

Anyway, on to current day.
I've been away on holiday with my (older) kids. Dh stayed home for various reasons.

Builder has been in, finishing up on the house. His dad came along (he sometimes helps builder out on projects) and asked Dh if he's OK to clear the garden. Dh naturally assumed he meant all their builder's mess - bags of cement, wood palettes, etc etc. I've been saying for a while that I can't wait for all that to go so that I can tidy up the garden and even be able to access the washing line again.
So Dh said yes please clear it up, and then left for work.

The guy brought in a team of men and they removed everything. Every single plant, bush, tree. Completely removed the lawn (which, to be fair, was riddled with weeds and needed returfing anyway).

But it's completely bare.

All my beautiful beautiful plants, my sentimental ones, my privacy ones. All gone.

Dh didn't tell me until the car journey home as he didn't want to ruin my holiday. But i've just returned home a couple of hours ago, and I'm absolutely devastated. Don't even care about the rest of the work thats been done while I was gone. Struggling to even talk to Dh about holiday or anything else. Completely ruined my return home.

I know some may say, ah it's just plants.... But they cost so much money and effort and time, and can't be replaced just like that. I'm going to have to spend hundreds to fill it up again, and it's going to take years for them to establish. And it needs so much extra work and attention now.

Gutted. Aibu for feeling this way.

Any advice? What do I say to the builder? Dh didn't say anything at the time as he hates confrontation but wtaf?!! And now the builder will think I'm being unreasonable. But it was my sanctuary, my space, my privacy.

Ps please forgive any spelling errors, I've barely slept.
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This is just awful OP. Wtf was he thinking? Of course YANBU - you poor thing

Why would the builder do that? So much extra work and he was already a year over? That doesn’t make sense, have you asked your DH is that’s how the conversation went?

You don’t know what to say to builder? Say that landscaping was not part of the project and ask him why he ripped out your established garden? Although, i am highly skeptical it would have transpired the way you describe in your op - that does not make any sense

I was just thinking the same, why would he go to the effort of doing that? Is he expecting to be paid for the work? It seems a bit odd

Makes you wonder if the builder wanted the plants for himself/ to sell on used the excuse of ‘clearing the garden’ as his excuse. He sounds very untrustworthy.

OP, if you haven’t already, I would ask him straight up what he did with all the plants and trees he took from your garden and also why he saw fit to remove them.

*Edited to say, if the project has already overrun by a year then it sounds like he could be a bit of a cowboy builder and is trying to milk this job for all it’s worth.

He just said, am I OK to clear the garden. He thought he was doing us a favour because it was overgrown. Honestly, I'm in shock. To be fair, so is DH.

Oh, and his wife (builders mum) has stage 4 cancer and is being moved to a hospice, so I can't even go mental at him to his face. What a shitshow.

I’m so sorry and I bet your husband feels awful too. On the bright side, it sounds like your garden wasn’t going to be as it was anyway so whilst this is a sharp shock, you may have found that this would have had to happen anyway and it’s done with no hassle to you. That being said, I would be speaking to the builder and making it clear how unhappy you are. Has DH spoken to the builder already?

But pulling out established trees is a lot of work? He removed everything and this was never discussed as per the brief?

I think I’m about to add insult to injury with this thought - but do say something to the builder, as you could end up with an additional bill for this ground clearance work. As PPs have said, it is a lot of work to do so I think there could be an extra invoice on the way. As well as the loss of your beloved plants.

You’re asking what to do / say op - what would you say if you hired a builder to do a new kitchen and when they left they cleared your bathroom as well - obviously you advise the builder this was not part of the job and they need to rectify. So same applies here surely?

But you don’t need to ‘go mental’ - just advise that this was never part of the extension work you employed him for and ask him how he will rectify.

He removed the lawn??

So you’ve spoke to him and he explained it was because it was overgrown? No wonder he is a year over if he is pulling out tree roots as favours? That just doesn’t happen

Absolutely no way I'm paying him extra. He owes me massively for this. Im tempted to ask him to knock off at least £1000 off my final bill for all the extra work I now have to do to replant the garden

Yes. Completely gone. It wasn't huge to be fair, but still.

I think it’s an unfortunate misunderstanding
everyone’s presumed
the builder saw trashed garden and presumed your redoing it after extension
your DH presumed he just meant remove the rubbish
He did ask if it was ok to clear the garden and that’s what he did

Oh my goodness OP! I would be absolutely devastated. I really feel for you. I love my garden and every plant and shrub in it is special and dear to me. I just can't imagine how I would cope with that.

I've had builders working on my home these past 8 weeks and I had scaffolding up for part of that time. And it's totally bewildering to me how the workmen seem to have such little regard for the plants and shrubs. They've damaged some , which will recover, and they've destroyed 4 or 5 perennials and made a dreadful mess of the lawns. But absolutely nothing on to what has happened to you.

I would be having really strong words with the builder as to what on earth he thought he was doing destroying your pride and joy. And I would be expecting compensation from him. Money will never replace what yoh have lost but it would at least be an acknowledgement of what he has done.

Never discussed. Just agreed to clear the garden. Wtf?!

Just explain the ‘clear the garden’ in this context with no prior talk of landscape was taken to mean ‘clear the garden of the builders’ material, not flatten the garden and rip out plants.’- then ask builder what he proposes

Yes, to be fair, it was riddled with weeds and I think the lawn needed to returfing anyway. But it's the plants and trees that I'm so so gutted about.

I'm trying to see it as a fresh start but it's difficult right now to put a positive spin on it.

Thank you for understanding! That's exactly it. Just the complete disregard.

This is what DH is saying. It was a misunderstanding. But I'm still so upset, and trying to find some positives in this.

Oh my fucking god. I’d consult another builder if you know anyone and a lawyer and consider requesting some set right costs. I’d be so devastated, you poor thing.

Philistines like your builder wouldn’t be able to distinguish the difference between weeds and shrubs/trees. They just see anything green and want it removed as it looks messy. He probably has fake grass.
I would ask chat gpt to help you write a letter that sounds legal/formal stating that no further payment will be made until the trees and shrubs are reinstated. If he doesn’t comply, I would get a solicitor to write a letter. The lawn is easy to deal with but he needs to put the trees and shrubs back or replace them with new.