Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

[INFJismyvibe]

Bit of backstory - we've been having an extension done on the house, it's taken well over the agreed time (almost a year over) but we've been mainly patient about it. Builders have been dumping stuff in our garden, making it unusable for the most part. Everything was overgrown as I've been unable to mow the lawn or trim down the bushes, but I've been OK with that. I knew that once they cleared their crap from the garden, I could get back to gardening and sort it out. My garden had some beautiful, well established plants and fruit trees, and some taller bushes that worked as an extra privacy screen, which we really need from our neighbours. Without those, the neighbours can see into my kitchen.

Some of the plants were of sentimental value, gifts from my mum, a plum tree growing from a cutting that my aunt gave me, from my grandma's garden, etc.

The building work has meant I've been unable to use my garden - which was my sanctuary - this summer and last summer.

Anyway, on to current day.
I've been away on holiday with my (older) kids. Dh stayed home for various reasons.

Builder has been in, finishing up on the house. His dad came along (he sometimes helps builder out on projects) and asked Dh if he's OK to clear the garden. Dh naturally assumed he meant all their builder's mess - bags of cement, wood palettes, etc etc. I've been saying for a while that I can't wait for all that to go so that I can tidy up the garden and even be able to access the washing line again.
So Dh said yes please clear it up, and then left for work.

The guy brought in a team of men and they removed everything. Every single plant, bush, tree. Completely removed the lawn (which, to be fair, was riddled with weeds and needed returfing anyway).

But it's completely bare.

All my beautiful beautiful plants, my sentimental ones, my privacy ones. All gone.

Dh didn't tell me until the car journey home as he didn't want to ruin my holiday. But i've just returned home a couple of hours ago, and I'm absolutely devastated. Don't even care about the rest of the work thats been done while I was gone. Struggling to even talk to Dh about holiday or anything else. Completely ruined my return home.

I know some may say, ah it's just plants.... But they cost so much money and effort and time, and can't be replaced just like that. I'm going to have to spend hundreds to fill it up again, and it's going to take years for them to establish. And it needs so much extra work and attention now.

Gutted. Aibu for feeling this way.

Any advice? What do I say to the builder? Dh didn't say anything at the time as he hates confrontation but wtaf?!! And now the builder will think I'm being unreasonable. But it was my sanctuary, my space, my privacy.

Ps please forgive any spelling errors, I've barely slept.
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This is insane. I have never heard of a builder doing this, or anything like it.

You need to talk to the builder. I’d be looking for compensation too. Although that won’t bring your lovely plants back.

Did he scrape it with a digger? That's really odd. What was agreed initially? I fear there may be an additional charge for this...

I'd be devastated too. I love my garden. But try to think of the fun you'll have starting from scratch. You don't have to spend thousands. People are often happy to donate plants or cuttings. Seeds don't cost a lot. Garden centres and nurseries often have a clearance corner with plants that need rescuing. And plants grow amazingly quickly. I started my garden from nothing 9 years ago and it's a bit of a jungle now!

That won't be true.A lot of cowboy builders use hospital stories for sympathy.

Toute de suite

But toot sweet is the cutest malapropism I have heard.

The unwell mother is neither here nor there.

You don’t need to “go mental” but firmly and assertively state your case.

Some men enjoy the “ripping out” aspect I think. Fil version of “gardening” is to take implements and hack away at plants and bushes.

I'd sue him. Abysmal.

Bloody hell, OP, I gasped when I read this. I’d be heartbroken. My heart goes out to you.

You poor thing OP, I’d be devastated too. Unfortunately there are a load of red flags as to the competency and professionalism of your builder in your post. Most extensions should take around 3 months to complete (depending on the size) and this is perfectly achievable even with a small team. The waste is another red flag because the builder should have allowed for enough skips to deal with the waste rather than chucking it in your garden. How did they get rid of all the waste at the end? Garden waste is different to building waste and would need to be dealt with separately. There’s no way a builder would do this free of charge so expect an invoice and be prepared to dispute it.

Is the builder self employed or did you get a an insured VAT registered company in?

You should advise ask him where the plants are to start with. If he’s still got them then he needs to put them back (and re-turf) at his own expense. If everything has gone, you need to advise him that what he’s done is theft and out of scope of the project and that it will cost XX pounds to rectify. Give him quotes from several landscaping companies and ask him how he’d like to settle their bill.

If he won’t then small claims court.

I bet his mum doesn't have cancer. The liar.

So many tradesmen don't care about the environment. We've had a similar problem with neighbours work recently. They literally ruin everything.

Speak to the builder firmly.
His personal problems are irrelevant.
Get a reputable landscaper in to quote for restoring the garden to how it was before the building work started.
And tell him either he makes it good or you knock that off his final invoice.
I am a gardener and would also be devastated by this.

Your dh said yes and left for work. I’d be livid. Not much you can do now. Call a gardener today and get a costing for making it nice again. See if it’s possible to get mature bushes planted. These need a lot of space to plant and cost. For paying for all of this it’s a dh problem and he should cover this. It’s awful what’s happened and I understand how sad you feel.

What's the timescale, so when did he dig then up? I would ask for the plants back. If he hadn't taken them to the tip. The bushes could survive out if place for a while. Often if I'm moving stuff round in my garden I will leave them unplanted for at least 24 hours. The lawn if v weedy I wouldn't be bothered about, I would returf or reseed. If everything is trashed I would ask for a reduction in the bill and use the money to restock. Probably ask for some reduction anyway because just cleaning everything is weird. Massive misunderstanding.

As an aside, why has it taken them almost a year over the agreed time to complete the work? Surely you're being charged way over the original estimate/quote as they'll be charging for time spent as well as materials. Is there a genuine reason or has he just strung it out?

Is there evidence of the dug up plants and stuff? Do you think he’s put them in his garden?

Id be taking the cost out his final payment

This is terrible miscommunication- you need to make sure you pay him a bit less to make sure you can replace all your plants.

YANBU. I felt really upset for you reading this. I completely get it- I’m garden obsessed, we bought our home from a professional landscape gardener 14 years ago (few trees, lots of mature shrubs, etc). Like you, we’ve added sentimental roses in our wedding colours and my late FIL planted several perennials for us. I would be absolutely devastated if these were removed.

I read it exactly like you that clearing the garden meant clearing the mess generated by the building work. I wouldn’t assume builders removed shrubs etc. I’d assume you’d hire a separate gardener for that, I found a tree specialist to remove one tree out the front.

I hope you are doing OK. Such sad news.

We had a huge remodelling large house 3 rooms knocked into one steel supports required to hold up walls etc.

Our builders were amazing. Pretty much every other day the project manager met with us for 10 minutes to explain what they doing that day to confirm it. Clean and careful. Took 4 months and was genuinely massive job. That’s how decent builders operate.

Well there aren't any positives are there? - and there don't have to be. He ripped out your garden, I mean WTF?

It's really unprofessional of him OP.

Simply saying "Am I OK to clear the garden?" and take that as meaning yes, please rip out all of our plants and trees and lawn, is absolutely bonkers. He's a builder, not a landscaper or gardener. Why would you assume this is what he meant when it's not even his job?

He should be paying you for the remedial work to get it back to how it was before - this error is on him.

Re-landscaping your entire garden is a huge piece of work and he should have ensured that you were all completely clear on what was happening before he did it, especially if it wasn't in the original brief.

A builder talking about "clearing the garden" when it's full of mess and building stuff is obviously going to be taken to mean just getting the building rubbish out, not digging up the entire thing.

You can't let his personal circumstances stop you from pushing back on this - it's sad but at the end of the day this is a massive thing he has done wrong and he needs to put it right.

Honestly just a misunderstanding. I’d probably be a bit more pissed off with DH than the builders. Everyone knows that builders need close supervision especially when they start a new job! I had mine start laying the wall tiles on the floor!

I’d chalk it up to experience and plan a spectacular new garden from scratch. Beg, borrow and barter for plants if you need to but focus on creating something new and amazing. Go round the house and have a big clear out of stuff to sell on vinted/ ebay to fund it. Honestly it sounds as though quite a bit of stuff might have been dead or struggling by now as well and you can’t bring them back.

Can you post a pic Op?
I can’t even imagine what this must look like

plus some green fingered posters might be able to advise

You're kidding.

This guy has just ripped out her garden. Something that is not part of his job description as a BUILDER.

It's not 'just a misunderstanding', it's massively unprofessional and he has caused huge damage to OP's property.

He needs to put it right.

To those posters who have said maybe the builder's still got the plants and should put them back, I am absolutely positive that's not going to happen!