Devastated - can't believe my builder did this

[INFJismyvibe]

Bit of backstory - we've been having an extension done on the house, it's taken well over the agreed time (almost a year over) but we've been mainly patient about it. Builders have been dumping stuff in our garden, making it unusable for the most part. Everything was overgrown as I've been unable to mow the lawn or trim down the bushes, but I've been OK with that. I knew that once they cleared their crap from the garden, I could get back to gardening and sort it out. My garden had some beautiful, well established plants and fruit trees, and some taller bushes that worked as an extra privacy screen, which we really need from our neighbours. Without those, the neighbours can see into my kitchen.

Some of the plants were of sentimental value, gifts from my mum, a plum tree growing from a cutting that my aunt gave me, from my grandma's garden, etc.

The building work has meant I've been unable to use my garden - which was my sanctuary - this summer and last summer.

Anyway, on to current day.
I've been away on holiday with my (older) kids. Dh stayed home for various reasons.

Builder has been in, finishing up on the house. His dad came along (he sometimes helps builder out on projects) and asked Dh if he's OK to clear the garden. Dh naturally assumed he meant all their builder's mess - bags of cement, wood palettes, etc etc. I've been saying for a while that I can't wait for all that to go so that I can tidy up the garden and even be able to access the washing line again.
So Dh said yes please clear it up, and then left for work.

The guy brought in a team of men and they removed everything. Every single plant, bush, tree. Completely removed the lawn (which, to be fair, was riddled with weeds and needed returfing anyway).

But it's completely bare.

All my beautiful beautiful plants, my sentimental ones, my privacy ones. All gone.

Dh didn't tell me until the car journey home as he didn't want to ruin my holiday. But i've just returned home a couple of hours ago, and I'm absolutely devastated. Don't even care about the rest of the work thats been done while I was gone. Struggling to even talk to Dh about holiday or anything else. Completely ruined my return home.

I know some may say, ah it's just plants.... But they cost so much money and effort and time, and can't be replaced just like that. I'm going to have to spend hundreds to fill it up again, and it's going to take years for them to establish. And it needs so much extra work and attention now.

Gutted. Aibu for feeling this way.

Any advice? What do I say to the builder? Dh didn't say anything at the time as he hates confrontation but wtaf?!! And now the builder will think I'm being unreasonable. But it was my sanctuary, my space, my privacy.

Ps please forgive any spelling errors, I've barely slept.
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a year late?

how long was this extension meant to take?!

Btw, I don't understand why you didn't pull him up before on lack of skips either, your garden shouldn't have been a dumping ground in the first place. I'd say plenty of issues to sue for as well if there were unreasonable delays (a year??), overcharging, thrn destroying your garden, sounds like significant financial loss on your part - I'm guessing.
Don't just rectify this, it's on him to pay.
How much is left to pay him, enough to deduct? £1k sounds low to me, btw but hard to imagine the scale.
Is your extension actually safe, have you had it checked independently?

Um, how?

No, I’d be demanding the full cost to replant each and every beloved shrub he pulled out. Don’t let him get away with it. We’ve had building works and the garden was affected, however clearing the garden at the end, meant clearing rubble and rubbish, not ripping out plants. You have to be firm. Not liking confrontation and wanting to rock the boat gets you nowhere I am afraid.

Sometimes builders and trades become too comfortable with their saviour complex and believe you should have everything their way. I imagine he saw no benefit in your precious plants and your relationship with him has become warped.
He’s forgotten he’s working for you and should check with you before going ahead; you always seem grateful and thank him so his ego is intact and he won’t learn.
It is best to assume he meant well but I had one handyman who was gaslighting me and had to let him go when every task became a power play. Amongst other things he delayed fitting my bathroom sink after I told him I had guests coming!
Do whatever you can to recover your garden.

I can absolutely believe it, a similar thing happened to my brother. Project massively overrun, builder brought in extra men to speed things up, brother walked in to find a guy removing original 1930s wooden flooring, which he then left in a skip overnight, it rained, tiles ruined, builder had to replace the lot. Must have been very costly.

Not everyone who goes into the building trade, or who is brought in to get shit done, has great communication skills.

You can be sensitive about builders mum and still get some money off the bill. That is completely reasonable. It's not just the money, it's years of care and effort, but the money is really the only but you can get back.

He should cover the full cost of replanting, including professional gardeners (not builders) to do the work. There is no way that your husband could have interpreted “clear the garden” to mean “remove all plants and lawn” unless that was included in the scope of works in your contract. Sounds like this was caused by lack of communication between your builder and his dad.

Get a quote for what’s needed on the garden.
Withhold that from your retention.

This is awful. I am so sorry this has happened. They sound like cowboys. I had similar experience with trashed garden but not this bad. To rip out all your plants is unbelievable. I do wonder if he is using them himself. I would send an email saying ' i have just returned from holiday to find..' and just say all the things you said in your OP, the expensive plants, the sentimental value etc. and that obviously when your DH said clear the garden he meant all the mess they had made. Did your DH see what was happening? They must be complete morons to think you meant the plants/trees. I find builders play dumb when they want to. I was having a new patio laid one time and told them to stack the old slabs as i wanted to use elsewhere(they were loose laid, not cemented so easy to do) and they somehow dissappeared and guy looked at me blankly when i asked where they were.

@INFJismyvibe out of interest how long was the build estimated to take, then took a year longer? Was the original estimate six months and it took 18?

Because how is the builder living on six months money over 18 or has he just asked for more and more money?

Hence the doing “extra” work in the garden?

What a ridiculous response. The two are not connected. Of course the cancer is indescribably awful but that has NOTHING to do with the fact that OP’s entire garden should not have been removed. I don’t see how this can even be a misunderstanding. A builder finishes their work, they would remove all their equipment from the garden and that’s that. Not rip out established trees and plans unless that’s something that has been specifically discussed in detail. OP has absolutely every reason to be upset by this, that’s going to cost her a lot of time, money, and effort to put right, and to ask the builder to take the money it will cost to replace the plants and trees off of her final bill.

So what’s your explanation- he did it on purpose? He’s not asked for extra money yet and I can’t imagine there’s much of a market for weed-ridden lawns and struggling second hand plants.

Having had various work done I know that builders are often not really brilliant at communicating and need supervision. It sounds like the lawn was on its last legs and the other stuff was not in a great state- to a builder it probably all looked like worthless weeds. He probably thought he was doing the OP a favour. Everyone I know who’s had substantial work done has had something similar, whether it’s getting rid of an original door/ cupboard/ fireplace etc, painting something the wrong colour, building something in the wrong place, or (like me) laying the wall tiles on the floor and vice versa!

That’s why I’d personally be more annoyed with DH- after a bit of experience with builders I’d have spent 5 minutes talking the builder through the job and checking they understood what I wanted (“take x but leave y and z”).

He sounds like a total cowboy. For everything. I wouldn’t be paying him anything. Please tell me it was a set price and you haven been paying a day rate for an extra year?

This is really crap! I’d be devastated too.

Once you are in a better mind frame and out of shock mode, sit down and plan out how you want your new garden to look. You have an opportunity to completely redo it and put plants and trees where you want them.

Once you have a plan, pop to a few garden centres and look for the reduced trees/ plants. Our neighbours chopped down all of our trees (thinking they were doing us a favour). We were able to source some beautiful magnolia and red robin trees (very tall established) at £30 each!

As much as I felt that gut wrenching feeling, I much prefer the layout of our trees now.

Are all builders Philistines who are too thick to know a weed from a shrub, or just this one?

Did he cut all the plants back or dig them out ? Digging plants out is a pain so it’s really odd if he decided to do that?!

Can you ask him where everything is that he dug up?

I know a builder who dumps stuff by his lockup and then when there's enough stuff orders a massive skip.

Could he still have any of it?

Did he cut the shrubs down or totally remove them? If just cut down some of them will grow back. How awful though x

That is do sad and I understand that entirely how upset you must be. I think I would have done to say something to the builder about that this.

I honestly would not care why he did it - the fact is that he did, and he shouldn't have, it wasn't in his remit, he's a builder not a landscaper, and he needs to put it right.

I honestly can't believe you are suggesting that OP should have a whip round her house for stuff she can sell on Vinted to correct the error of a so called professional who has come into her house to do a specified job, and ended up ripping out her entire garden without consent.

"Having had various work done I know that builders are often not really brilliant at communicating and need supervision."

In the case of causing huge damage to someone's property, it really doesn't matter. They are coming into your house to do a job, as 'professionals', and if they don't do it properly, they have to rectify it. Ripping out someone's garden without a written agreement of the work to be done is not doing a building job properly.

It's completely irrelevant whether or not he 'thought he was doing OP a favour'.

I disagree. The work had overrun by a year, so the garden was a dumping ground for a very long time, not temporarily like a few weeks or months. 2 summers was stated, which presumably doesn't include the current summer as it's not nearly over.

Many building projects would include a full garden makeover after the garden being neglected and used as a trash dump for presumably a couple of years, so it isn't beyond reason that the builder assumed when instructed to "clear the garden", it meant clear the garden. Sadly neither party clarified that OP meant "apart from x, y, z", or "of waste and rubble from the build" unless there was more detail in the scope of works.

Why has it over ran by a year? There is no need to go "mental" but you definitely do need to speak to him.

He owes you. Hugely

Misunderstanding my arse. Clear the garden of the mess. Yes. Remove mature planting and lawn- that’s called landscaping or preparation for landscaping.

Call him back- ask for the plants back and if not then a huge reimbursement for the loss. Tally it up and send him an invoice. Mature trees cost £100s!

When I had a very large extension, my garden sure as heck wasn’t used as a dumping ground.

they hired skip after skip and this was removed and emptied very regularly.

I love my garden. I would be furious to be honest but, what was your husband doing while they were ripping all the stuff out. I would be furious with him too. I would get your husband to replace every thing. I would also have a word with the builder and ask why he did it. I think this is your husbands fault he was there In the first place.

Yes I don’t quite understand how they took out more than one tree without him stepping in? Completely tearing out a garden takes a long, long time!