To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

[alleoindup]

It was his sisters birthday party last weekend but her birthday is today. I work Mondays & Tuesdays so was going to open the presents today. Came downstairs and he’s opened every single one, destroying some in the process (like tearing colouring books and tearing the boxes some of the puzzles etc came in.)

I’m finding it hard to even look at him to be honest: I know I’m probably overreacting but I really am upset.

So I don’t get accused of drip feeding I am struggling anyway and this has just depressed the hell out of me.

You literally said he doesn’t have the best impulse control. So what did you mean by that ?

& like I said - no he shouldn’t have done and should be told as such.

Well I don’t feel like I do look like a fool but you think what you like. I don’t really care what a random off the internet thinks.

No I didn’t …I replied to another poster who said four year olds don’t have great impulse control and don’t know what is theirs.

I replied saying he may not have great impulse control but he knows what’s his!

He doesn’t have great impulse control compared to an adult or much older child but he certainly has enough not to rip through a pile of presents that aren’t his! Anyway, it’s too stuffy and hot to keep bickering about this.

Please reply with an example of my cruelty.

What has been done to my children that is cruel?

For fuck’s sake, I’ve read OPs replies to your posts, she’s handled it really welll and I’d just like to ask you, what in the hell is wrong with you? Your responses are vile and bullying

Are you a bully in real life? Or do you only feel brave behind a screen?

nasty piece of work.

Oh give it a rest.

@ExercicenformedeZ what do you deem as cruelty to her children?

What utter, utter shit. What do you get from being like this? The cruelty here is all yours

I remember a lot from when I was 4 and would know this was wrong. Four year olds aren’t brainless or clueless!

I know we shouldn't respond to trolls people on the wind up, but really... it's just so gross and having a real life negative effect on someone.

Your poor kids

I’ve reported that one, poster clearly has issues beyond this thread

No four is old enough to have a conversation and to understand. This is really bad,

Okay but let’s be real, if they weren’t where he could get them there would be nothing to be pissed off about. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time and I can appreciate that this is icing on the cake.

You weren’t unreasonable to feel how you felt when you saw what he did OP.

Glad you had a nice day in the end

Ignore the nitpickers, the bullies, the posters seemingly obsessed with ‘impulse control’ they are bored on this rainy day

Hope DS has realised what he did wrong. At the age he is he will definitely know he shouldn’t have done this, and it’s fine that he’s not constantly attached to you at home.

I’ve been reading this thread throughout the day and find some of the replies ridiculous, its seems to have been a competition as to who can write the most twattish reply

I think it is easily done that kids can access presents before they are meant to. The only way we got around it when ours were tiny was to either keep the presents in our room or one year we had an enormous white goods box which we decorated with wrapping paper and put all the presents inside. The kids were too short to get into it until we helped them, which stopped them opening them early.
Its not unreasonable to be upset/angry about it but probably more at yourself for the fact that it happened than at your son, who probably has no impulse control at that age. Probably best to tell him in no uncertain terms that what he did was wrong and out it behind you.

I am grateful for responses. I do think posters should be aware that what’s a stupid wind up to them could have really devastating effects on others. When you’re dealing with a lot anyway, some posts insinuating (or even outright saying) that they pity your children and that they’d be better without you, that you’re cruel, that you’re abusive, are horrible to read. I’m surprised at the way it’s got to me; I’m normally fairly sanguine about posts on here as I know sometimes people are just horrible for no good reason but I’ve barely slept for a week because I’ve been in such a lot of pain, we’ve had big events like DDs birthday and DS leaving nursery next week and then you read horrible comments here and it does hurt, a lot. So - don’t do it, maybe.

@FortheloveofCheesus

why ever not?! In a couple of years they’ll be off to secondary school!

@FortheloveofCheesus So your EIGHT year old kids are not "allowed" to go downstairs until you say so? No wonder people say the young generations are not developing resilience!

Your entire post reeks of smugness to be honest, as if you were just trying to make the OP feel bad.

Aah OP, don't feel like they'd be better off without you, that's not true. Show a mum who hasn't gotten irritated by one of the kids and I'll show you a liar! Don't worry about it, your son misbehaved and you were annoyed, Jesus but haven't we all! Don't let the vipers get to you too much on here ❤️

And very ill prepared for secondary school as well, they’ll have to navigate getting there alone and to different classes and forms, when they’re still not allowed downstairs alone….. good god!

YANBU. My 3.5 yo wouldn't have done this and I would say she's a pretty typical preschooler. I'd be furious too.

Think you are at fault here. Should have hidden them. Doesn't matter if he is 2 or 4. He is still at an impulse stage and finds it hard to navigate emotions. Some find it harder than others and him being 4 doesn't really matter. Could still have happened with a 5 or 6 year old if they felt jealous. So really it's on you as the parent not the child.

Definitely!!!

Op, you are not in the slightest bit cruel! Seriously, in the real world people get pissed off with their kids for much less than this. You have done nothing wrong, hopefully he has learnt his lesson and won't do anything like this again. You have normal expectations of what a 4yo should know not to do, you are not daft for leaving the presents out, perfectly normal thing to do.