To be this pissed off with my 4 year old

[alleoindup]

It was his sisters birthday party last weekend but her birthday is today. I work Mondays & Tuesdays so was going to open the presents today. Came downstairs and he’s opened every single one, destroying some in the process (like tearing colouring books and tearing the boxes some of the puzzles etc came in.)

I’m finding it hard to even look at him to be honest: I know I’m probably overreacting but I really am upset.

So I don’t get accused of drip feeding I am struggling anyway and this has just depressed the hell out of me.

Agree! All of mine have got themselves up at 4 and gone down to put the TV on in the morning - not like this was an 18m old!

@Barnbrack

if you can take all that in your stride with an indulgent smile and a tinkly laugh then good luck to you. Most people can’t and that’s fine, parents are only human too!

Your emotions need regulation. That's not a normal thing to feel. He is picking up on your low mood. What are you doing to address your depression?

To be honest while I’m not perfect I am not sure what I’ve done that is so bad.

I let my child (aged four years eight months incidentally!) watch a programme lasting less than ten minutes downstairs while I got his sister dressed upstairs.

I was angry and upset when I discovered what he’d done but I reined it in and posted my frustrations on here rather than ripping him a new one.

I think I dealt with it … fine, really he was told off and he has had a consequence for what he did but I didn’t go absolutely nuclear.

So … I don’t know what I did that’s so unspeakable!

No he isn’t

I’m not depressed. I’m in a fair bit of physical discomfort but I’m not depressed. Do you honestly think he thought he’d open a load of presents because of my non existent depression!?

You said that you ' couldn't look at him'. That is a highly disproportionate level of anger and contempt to direct at a four year old. Where is the kids' father in all this?

Where do you think he might be, at half three on a weekday?

At the back? Anyone?

@ExercicenformedeZ

yes, it’s terrible isn’t it. Op should have given him
a big smile and a cuddle. Why didn’t you do that? @alleoindup ?

Did the idiots who are saying op should've been with her 4 year old every minute of the day tie themselves to their children until they turned 7?

Ridiculous.

Sorry op, there was nothing wrong with you feeling the way you did.

Young children are completely infuriating at times!

Wait a minute, I thought all this happened in the morning? Now you're saying it was half three in the afternoon? What actually happened here?

Ok. I wonder if people would be so validating to the OP if the offending child were female.

@ExercicenformedeZ

um…yes. Girl or boy, wouldn’t reduce the amount of extra hassle and inconvenience for Op would it

No, they wouldn't. The misandry starts young on this site.

What have I actually done that would make it so much worse if DS was a girl?

Not what I felt. Done.

@ExercicenformedeZ

Girl or boy, wouldn’t reduce the amount of extra hassle and inconvenience for Op would it

Where is your partner? You haven't answered the pertinent question.

OP, you are being roundly gaslit on this thread. I would feel exactly the same. I have not one but two 4yos (plus a 7yo) and I am fully confident that they are capable of the knowledge, social skills and impulse control not to do this. Therefore they would get an appropriate level of angry response and an appropriate consequence from me. And as for his having been downstairs without you, f* that for a laugh, where are all these MNers finding these extremely robust cots, stair gates and playpens that they seem to be using up til statutory full time education? Never seen them in John Lewis.

Yes, I have. Now answer my pertinent question.

No, you haven't. Are you in a relationship or not?

She was angry, got over it, dealt with the incident. What more do you want?

What the fuck had that got to do with it?! The kid did something really mean to their sibling. My response that I posted earlier, would have been the same whether the offender was a girl or a boy.
Why do some people have to look way too deep into things?
The kid was out of order. He happened to be a boy. If he’d been a girl, ‘she’ would have still been out of order!

He ran away with the circus. Happy?

@ExercicenformedeZ

how is this relevant?

She needs emotional regulation. Her response was out of proportion and I'm sorry for her children if this is what a minor setback makes her feel.

You’re not getting away with that @ExercicenformedeZ . You know perfectly well where most adults are on a weekday at half past three.

Did you want me to say he’s left the family unit and left me a bitter and angry woman? Sorry to disappoint but it’s really not that exciting.

Now, what have I done that is so traumatising and awful that MNetters would jump to a four year old girls defence? Still waiting.