Being told I can’t drink out of certain mugs

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

I’m staying at my parents house and my dad has said “don’t drink out of my mug that’s the only one I can find that’s like this so you can’t have it drink from your own” so I said “you’re pathetic and this is exactly why you and I will never see eye to eye. Because you behave like a child”

I made my tea in another mug and never bothered speaking to him for the rest of my time here.

I would say he is far more annoying. When you have children, you get a grip and compromise. I often look after nieces and nephews, if they want to use something. Fine, just ask first. Idk this probably was more of one of many things that already annoys me about him. Probably small in the grand scheme. We don’t see eye to eye.

🤣🤣🤣

That’s the issue, not the mug.
He said something that antagonises you (perhaps knowingly) and you bit back, because not doing so would perhaps mean he got his own way or that it would seem you have conceded to him.

My dad also has his own favourite mug. There's only one other person allowed to drink out of it and that's my 2 year old son. While his grandad supervises. Everyone has a favourite mug. If he doesn't want you drinking out of it then don't. You need to get a grip. There really is no need to react the way you did.

Er it was the dad saying this is my mug, do not drink from it! Honestly, he sounds like a complete twat. It's a mug. It's a form of control probably. I get you OP!!

Children yes, you’re not a child!! You don’t have to make compromises with your adult children when they’re old enough to respect your personal belongings and feelings. I don’t use my mums favourite mug because it’s hers, she does the same at my house. I thought it was very normal to ask what mug you should use before helping yourself?

I think it's fine to have a favourite mug that you don't want someone else to use. Your reaction was pretty ridiculous. Can't you just use another mug?

It’s not about favourite mugs.
It’s about the person who has the favourite mug.

It's not that big a deal though is it? Just get another mug.

The reason I don't like anyone using my dad's is that it's a unique pottery item and it brings back memories of us going out for a meal then coming back to mine and having chocolate and coffee and listening to music. We were very close. I'd hate for it to get broken.

I adore my children but I wouldn't let them use my favourite mug if there were others available.

I'm really close to my mum, we have a lovely relationship... but I wouldn't expect to use her mug either.

People, even parents, are allowed to have things they keep for themselves.

Yep. It’s not the mug. Just him. It’s like, it’s a small thing. It’s a mug, you could just let me use it and go about your business. But nope. He went shopping the other day and got me these ice creams I wanted for ages so I told him to eat them all himself and that I’m no longer interested🤣

Pretty low-scale, shitty behaviour. Sounds as if there's hell of a lot more going on.

You sound very similar to your father.

Nobody is allowed to drink out of my favourite mug. My partner gave me last favourite mug to a guest and they broke it. We have lots of mugs which others may use.

Almost all post have said YABU, have some self reflection OP.

What's pathetic is you being so disrespectful to your dad. Not getting along isn't a reason to be rude, it's perfectly possible to be cordial with someone even if you don't see eye to eye.

That could have been an opportunity to chat about the story behind the mug being his favourite, but you took offence and don't seem to realise you're the petty one.

Yabu and totally overreacted. It’s normal for people to have a favourite mug that they don’t like anyone else using. Not speaking to him for the rest of the visit?! Grow up.

🥺 Are you 12?

Wouldn’t use my mums mug because I respect her. My dad on the other hand. I don’t. Thus, I will use whichever mug I wish to. However I didn’t bother in the end.

“don’t drink out of my mug that’s the only one I can find that’s like this so you can’t have it drink from your own”

If that was verbatim, there's two interesting points to your Dad's statement.

1. "that’s the only one I can find that’s like this" - there is a solid reason for him preferring this mug. It might be the material (I'm partial to bone china, DH prefers stoneware), the shape, the weight - and it's the only mug he's found to fit his requirements. For that reason it's the only mug he drinks from and if you take it out of use he has no mug he wants to drink from.
2. "drink from your own" - 'your own', not 'another mug'. You have 'your own' mug there, yet you chose to make your drink in his mug. This implies you deliberately picked a fight with him.

OP, You chose to wind him up. Which would be in keeping with your sullen insistence that he is the one who is childish and pathetic. Are you familiar with the term DARVO?

Late 20s actually.

I had a favourite mug that I bought for myself. My youngest daughter (who is 20yo) used it one day, dropped and broke. I was so mad that I wanted to explode, but did not say anything to her. She came the next day with a brand new mug. I thanked her for it and put it away, never drink out of it. It does not even look like the one she broke, and every time I see it, it reminds me of the one I lost. 😔

It’s a mug from Tesco, I’m 1000% sure there is more like that. I have one fancy mug that I purchased that is fine china. No one will drink from that. However, my crappy Asda mug is anyone’s.

Well you're acting like an immature child.

You don't sound like much of a charmer

Is the mug a metaphor?

As I said above, it’s best that you don’t stay anymore. If you don’t like or respect one of the homeowners, it’s best not to stay in their house.