To take DD’s trust fund..

[BlueFlamingo55]

AIBU to take part of DD’s trust fund to pay for our new house?

DD has quite a modest trust fund (~£30k) that I had promised to give her this year since she is now 19. The money is my inheritance from DF but instead I decided to put it away for DD when she was younger to help with her university costs, first car, house deposit etc.

Life didn’t turn out quite how I had expected it to and I have just come away from a messy divorce and am now having to purchase a new house in my 50s.. I’ve found a home that both DD and I love but my deposit (my share of the equity money from the marital home) wouldn’t be enough. I therefore decided that I’d take half of DD’s trust money to top things up. I do not want to do this and it was never the plan but it’s the only way I’ll be able to afford this house. We’ve explored cheaper options further outside of town but DD refuses to live in any of them (and I quietly agree with her, I much prefer the area this house is in)

I made the mistake of telling DD my plans re: the trust fund and she has gone absolutely ballistic, for want of a better term. Saying that I’m stealing her money and how will she possibly be able to afford her travel plans etc etc. Apparently I’m trying to ruin her life. I’ve reminded her that I help her out financially 24/7 and she is not hard done by but there is absolutely no talking sense into her. She has refused to speak to me all week.

Am I really the worst mother in the world for taking £15k in order to pay for good, permanent accommodation for us both?

great advice if you want zero ongoing relationship with your only child 🤦‍♀️

Here’s the clincher :
openly promised to DD
and now she’s 19

if she was a tiddler I’d say go for it,
but having it openly promised to her and given at her age it will have strongly factored into her plans / mindset / everything
I don’t think you can morally change the goalposts now

I suspect that having “only” 15k to travel with, rather than 30k will do her good.

I agree that it is stealing. If she was a young child and had no idea about it I wouldn't think it so bad as you could top it back up when able and the child would be none the wiser.
Doing this to someone who was aware they had the money and was expecting it this year is awful. You told her it was he money, it was her money, you spend it anyway. Legally she may not have any standing but I do think it is stealing.
Why not get a mortgage to cover the rest? Or add DD to the deeds so you are joint owners? I think it will take your DD a long time to get over this.

its not in a trust fund

The principle is similar. I don’t want my DCs assets but know that using them could give us both a much better life however not lawful for a minor to purchase a property.

It just seems ridiculous that the money could be used to give DC a much better upbringing yet is effectively frozen until they are 18 and then handed to them.

I worry about what an 18 year old will do when receiving such a huge sum. For many that age it wouldn’t end well.

In some ways I wish the money didn’t exist.

It's a different issue.

I presume you have taken advice on what could be done because if you haven't I would. They may be some possibilities.

I find it hard to understand, house prices being what they are, that 15K makes all the difference between a decent acceptable house and a terrible compromise. Or that you can't tweak the details of whatever mortgage deal goes with it to cover it? Or even get a personal loan, 0% credit cards or whatever to cover the 15K and pay it off over time.

But if it really comes to it, then you should probably give the money to her, and explain that you simply won't be able to buy the house she wants. It's not then a question of what's "acceptable" to her - she can either live in the house you can afford, or be homeless.

The difference is that your daughter inherited The money not you in this case the op.inherited the money and put same aside in a savings account in her own name intending to give it to her daughter it's never been the daughters money.

Where does this poster say the money is stagnating in a cash savings account?

It was a mistake to tell her about the money, or at least the amount. But it's done now.
I think that you are in your rights to use it towards the house purchase. The fact she'd rather let you buy somewhere less suitable, so she can keep her 30k is quite sad really.

What was she planning on doing with this money apart from travelling?

As an aside, there's no way I would give my 19yo 30k!!! I'd be wanting to wait until they were at least 25+ personally.

https://www.taxcafe.co.uk/resources/buying_property_for_children.html

Trust Me
A child under 18 cannot take legal title to property, so there are two ways in which the property can be held: a simple ‘bare trust’ or a more formally constituted trust, such as a life interest or discretionary trust.Under a ‘bare trust’, another person holds the title to the property as a nominee. The property title is registered in the name of, for example: ‘Joe Bloggs as bare trustee for Samantha Bloggs’.In all other respects, the child is regarded as the owner of the property and will automatically be entitled to take legal title to it when they reach the age of 18.

A more formally constituted trust requires a Trust Deed, which is a legal document setting out (amongst other things) who the trust beneficiaries are, who the trustees are, and how and when the trust’s income and assets should be distributed to its beneficiaries. It is possible to have any number of beneficiaries, or even just one.When the trust acquires a property the title would be registered under something like: ‘Joe Bloggs and Davina Bloggs as trustees for the Bloggs Family Trust’.In this case, it is the trust itself which is effectively regarded as the owner of the property and the child’s rights to the income from the property and to take title to it will depend on the terms of the Trust Deed.

@ThisOldThang would this still generate as good a return, starting this year with a bit less money (£25k)? I am not savvy at all and have had this in a cash ISA for a couple of years. Sounds like i’ve been silly.

What is actually your point?

@NC617 please read this. This accords with my understanding
Adults would hold the legal title as trustees with the children as the beneficial owners

No, it is not her money. It ceased to be her money when she put it into a trust fund for her daughter. As a trustee, OP is required to act in her daughter's best interests. She cannot legally take any of the money for herself.

It may be a shitty thing to do, but it really doesn't make any sense to call it stealing. If you promise somebody you're GOING to give them something and then don't give it to them, you can't be stealing it because it's not theirs yet.

Why are people so incapable of actually reading the OPs posts tonight?

Well, no. You openly told her about this money and said it was hers. It is not her fault that her parents have divorced but she'll certainly feel like she's paying a price for it if you take the money.
Shes also 19. Realistically, she's not going to be living with you for the next 10 years, so you shouldn't be factoring her opinions into it when purchasing your new property .So buy where you can afford, within your budget and she either moves with you or not.

Is there any particular reason you inferred it was in a trust fund?

Telling your daughter the money was hers and then rescinding the gift is a pretty unpleasant thing to do. Surely just offer her the opportunity to invest with you, and if she doesn’t want to, you don’t get the sort of house she wanted.

So are you just 'borrowing' it back?

Are you going to give her a share of the house? Find a way to repay it

I think I'd give her the choice - money or a bedroom. If she wants the money now then it's unlikely you'll be able to buy somewhere big enough in one of the "favoured" areas, but she's welcome to sleep on the sofa when she comes back from uni.

Assuming you are in the UK it is not lawful for anyone under 18 to own any property. They cannot purchase it or have it passed to them in their name.

However property can be held in trust for them and passes to them when they are 18. This is something I’m looking into.

Well they read the first post and then horror of horrors assume what the OP wrote is actually what the situation is !

You can disagree all.you want but she hasn't actually given it to.her daughter ,she promised it to.her huge difference.