Sister's wedding and no children invited

[BigSister1991]

My younger sister is getting married next year and no children (including family children) are invited to any of the wedding celebrations. We will have two children by then (aged 2.5 and 6 months). They are the only children in the family.

The wedding is 2 hours drive from our home and over 3 days - starting on Friday and ending on Sunday.

Our blood family only consists of my Mum and Sister and so I'm disappointed that my Sister would not want her nephew/niece there or want to include them in the day (and that there won't be any photos of them there). I work full time and weekends with my children are important to me and so I'm sad to have to spend 2 days away from them.

The expectation from my Mum and Sister is that me and my husband attend the wedding without our children without complaint and sort and pay for any childcare arrangements that are required.

Honestly this is so selfish of your sister, and your mother you’ve to bend over backwards getting in laws nearby or some such plans stressing yourself to fit in with her demands I mean as long as a baby isnt screaming or toddler running amok does it matter? Simply saying if children get bored please could they be taken out away from ceremony.
We’ve just had this at a wedding and the parents didn’t go as baby was left out and I don’t blame them one bit but it’s bad when very close family can’t be accommodated, selfish in the extreme.

It's your sister who is being unreasonable. Of course she's free to make whatever choice she wants but since you're not only her sister, but her MOH too, she should have considered your needs. She could easily make an exception for your two and no one else's children. You couid also reasonably expect a hotel to have a family room for you to use.

I think I'd write/ speak to her and let her know how unreasonable she is being. (I'd be pretty annoyed but I guess I might end up going alone rather than miss it completely.)

Did you mean to post this on this thread @ZenNudist ???

www.mumsnet.com/talk/home_decoration_pictures/5377333-how-often-do-you-paint-your-downstairs-rooms?page=1

lol no way would I be going. No way.

Exactly.

The wedding is next year. Is it next spring or next summer?

Which means that the youngest baby may not even be born yet.

The eldest child is approx 18 months I am guessing but I don't know.

I don't know how long your sisters engagement was but I doubt her position on wanting a child free wedding is personal to you and it wasn't made to upset you, OP.

I would try some sort of a work around like an airb&b close by to the wedding venue and take your children and a babysitter. Likely for about 2 nights at least. Likely travelling the day before the wedding to check in.

See if the sister will change her mind closer to the time too.

My daughter just went to a three day wedding with kids and said she will definitely not be having kids at her wedding as it was a nightmare. With constant streetches and misbehaviour throughout the ceremony. I said well maybe you have Nannie’s there and she quite rightly pointed out why do I have to pay to look after Someone else’s kids when if they love me and want to be there for us they can pay for their own baby sitter ..

This.

Two days is not the end of the world.

your DH can look after the kids.

Go and have fun and stop being a drama llama.

Sometimes it's really not that simple.

That's a shame, and unusual in my experience. Most weddings I've attended have included the children. They've always been well behaved. In my culture we include the whole family. My children went to weddings throughout their childhood and never caused a problem once.
What a pity some do.

Totally fine to have a childfree wedding.

Not fine to do some gross emotional blackmail “if they love us they’ll pay for childcare”.

I would not have been able to have fun separated from my tiny baby.

a three day wedding? Who on earth is she. Nah, screw that, no way I would attend and leave 2 young children behind.

Her wedding, her rules but she needs to accept that this may not work for all guests. she cannot have it both ways.

A three day wedding is a bit much really. I’d probably rather stay at home with the children than do all that.

It's THREE days!

Also........ 🙄

Unless the wedding was planned 1.5 years ago before you were pregnant with the first one then I'd be declining. She has a right to have a child free wedding but to make it a difficult as possible with a 6 month old baby is hard and expecting you to leave them for 3 nights is not fair. The wedding day itself fair enough but expecting you to be there before and after for an additional 2 nights. No thanks

Have you missed the part about DH being expected to attend for the whole thing sans kids also?

I wouldn't go. It's completely up to the bride and groom who they invite but I wouldn't leave my young child and baby for 3 days. I'd maybe do it if I felt it absolutely necessary, I wouldn't find it necessary though to attend the wedding of someone who didn't think my children/their own niece and nephew weren't important enough to attend. I'd have no hard feelings towards them, I just wouldn't put myself out so much for them.

Actual wow.

Has your daughter always been such a precious, entitled diva?

Hers would be one wedding I would NOT be going to!

There were lots of children at my wedding, ranging from 1 yo to 15yo. There was no screeching or misbehaving, it was a lovely day and seeing the children on the dance floor having loads of fun with family and friends made it so much better.

Indeed. It appears that the entitlement often cuts both ways when it comes to child-free wedding.

I'm always amazed at bridezillas who lack the emotional intelligence to understand that if you invite your family to a child free wedding that lasts over several days that siblings with children may not be able to attend because all their childcare options will be at the wedding.

@BigSister1991 does your DH have any family who can help out?

That's my experience exactly. Everyone having fun and joining in the day. Plus children soon understand when to be quiet and how to behave.
It does make for a very happy occasion. I can't imagine my sisters not wanting my children at their weddings, and vice versa.

I definitely wouldn’t be attending OP. There’s no way I’d have left mine for that long at the ages yours are for anyone’s wedding, and I’m always stunned that people treat their own nieces and nephews like this. I asked my husband’s brother’s daughters (so my nieces by marriage) to be my flower girls and had them in all my photos with my sister and best friend, let alone if they had been my own sibling’s children! This new trend is very disturbing in my opinion. Hope you are OK ☺️

I think id just go for the wedding and the meal then head home if it’s not easy to find a sitter. End of the day it’s their wedding and they are entitled to do it as they want to do. I wouldn’t make any fuss, just state your intentions and do that. Weddings are great but cause so much fall out over one day. We didn’t have children at ours apart from the page boy and FGs because if the expense. They were welcome et evening do. It was easy thigh as there were no chn in immediate family. Although our wedding lasted for one day (afternoon really). I can’t abide the multiple days worth. Yes it’s lovely, and exciting, but sometimes I think there are folks who don’t get that it’s not as important to others as it is to them.