DTD - All ticked off - HIGH FIVE!!!!

[Lardychops]

I’m sure I’m totally unreasonable but does anyone feel like a huge high five after they have DTD and ticked it off for another ten days/fortnight!

I love DH but I’m post meno; mum of 6 - 3 still at home ; hands on nan of 4 and work full time !

I actually don’t mind it once get into it and 💯 think sex is necessary for a healthy relationship but boy does it take effort these days and I’d much rather give it a miss if truth be told and doom scroll, watch telly read or catch up on emails!

The sense of satisfaction once done and dusted and out the way for a bit is fab !

Awful I know , poor DH I’m sure would be mortified if he knew but hey ho !!

🙌 HIGH Five!!!!

Not really no. I don’t count the days anyway but we do it more often than that. My DH is also very generous and likes to be giving. I don’t even have to do much a lot of the time I get the princess experience 😂

I get what you mean though I am not always up for an energetic rampage.

Nope sorry- I have similar life pressures as you but if we aren’t DTD 2-3 times a week i miss the connection. There are many many things on my to do list that are a relief to tick off but that isn’t ever one of them.

Ooh see that gets on me nerves if I’m not in the zone lol , all the fanny- anning about if you get my drift…I do feel the poor chaps lovely giving nature is a bit wasted on me these days !
but needs must and it does blow away the cobwebs and actually very nice- gosh I’m mean !

I’m just chuffed got a nice clear week now of getting into bed spreading out in front of the air con with my book and being left to it!

xx

Are you 50+ ? Post meno ?
if so respect xxxx

I just couldn’t do it out of some sort of duty.

We haven’t had sex for about 5 years!

I haven’t DTD for about 15 years (am old and single) and don’t really miss it
but
i would love to give it a go one more time just so that the last guy I did it with wasn’t the last guy that I did it with
IYSWIM 😂😂

Nearly 50, in the midst of meno! Kids at home and adult kids plus the grandkids and work… so not the same but similar… made me laugh to think of your air con enjoyment of peace in bed though. Enjoy!!

I kind of understand where you’re coming from. I really cannot be arsed these days to be honest. Occasionally, with enough fizzy wine, I’m in the mood but mostly I really just want to sleep 😴

Ah, it’s not that as such…
‘duty’ - wrong word I think.
healthy, lovely part of marriage, would hate to take that away from DH. Not disliking anything , just not massively into it these days xx
a bit like him coming walking with me, I think he’d rather be home doing gardening or tinkering with motorbike. Does it because he loves me. X

I take my hat off to you !
and yes god it’s lovely! Enjoying it now while he snores post coitus happy as Larry lol! (A will do for the next 7 bloody days!! )
xx

I'm 50+ and post meno and don't relate to what you're saying either.

If sex felt like such an enormous chore that once I'd 'ticked it off' for the fortnight I was so relieved I had to post on the internet about it, I wouldn't be doing it in the first place!

Fortunately I still enjoy it and look forward to it.

Yes that works - couple of reds and then one in bed after with a book or on Mumsnet!

I enjoy sex when I do it but I’m rarely up for it prior to foreplay. Yes I do feel a bit like - good that’s done- after even though I love dh and get turned on //orgasim

And if you didn’t would you never do it ?
even though you presumably love your DH?

(And don’t be mean as Mumsnet is for all this daft nonsense really isn’t it ? )
xx

It’s bizarre isn’t it ??
As actually satisfying once take the plunge !

We’ll get out there again maybe no?
if you would like to meet someone, I mean? Xx

If I really didn't feel like sex, I wouldn't have sex, no. If that went on for awhile I'd look into what might be going on with my life, or health, or relationship, that might be causing it and see what could be done about it. I'd have an honest conversation with my partner about it.

You say - 'even though you presumably love your DH' - well, I love him enough not to ever come onto the internet while he's sleeping next to me saying words to the effect of 'thank god I don't have to do THAT again for awhile!'. He would be devastated!

Fair enough, thanks for your time xx

I’m nearly 60 and exactly the same as you, OP.

I totally understand OP. I was the same. But it came to the point that I didn't love DH, felt resentful, let down etc and I absolutely hated sex. Avoided it like the plague but knew, like you, I'd eventually have to give, to keep the peace and be left alone for a while, until the next time.
I'm single and post menopause now. I have no desire at all to date/have sex.

I personally know several older long-term married couples who are perfectly devoted and ‘connected’ without having sex. They’re over it. I don’t know why there is this myth that you need to do it at all cost even if you’re knackered and you don’t want it. Do people just keep doing this in their 80s, 90s, til their bits turn to dust? I just don’t get it.

YUP I totally agree

That sounds very sad and completely appropriate that you separated xx

I love DH dearly and don’t feel obligated or pressured. I make the choice to crack on with what I know is a normal, loving natural part of a healthy marriage. But in truth could deffo take or leave it and while enjoyable once I crack on , I’d rather have a cup of tea/glass of wine and read my book! X

That’s smashing if it works for them but I do think ( and judging by the gazillions of threads on here) that a sexless marriage for a lot of men and women - when there is a mismatch of libido/drive - can be an unhappy, lonely one that in turn causes no end of issues for the partnership and is easily remedied by the intimacy the other one craves.

Im certainly no way near wanting to shut shop and have done with it.
I just lack the enthusiasm and when I do pull my finger out I am dead chuffed and happy as it makes my DH happy and he’s a good old chap and deserves to feel loved xx