DTD - All ticked off - HIGH FIVE!!!!

[Lardychops]

I’m sure I’m totally unreasonable but does anyone feel like a huge high five after they have DTD and ticked it off for another ten days/fortnight!

I love DH but I’m post meno; mum of 6 - 3 still at home ; hands on nan of 4 and work full time !

I actually don’t mind it once get into it and 💯 think sex is necessary for a healthy relationship but boy does it take effort these days and I’d much rather give it a miss if truth be told and doom scroll, watch telly read or catch up on emails!

The sense of satisfaction once done and dusted and out the way for a bit is fab !

Awful I know , poor DH I’m sure would be mortified if he knew but hey ho !!

🙌 HIGH Five!!!!

High five to that !

Gosh , that’s a long time. Hope that works for you both xxx

I don't even get that, I haven't had more than 5or six orgasms in my life im 59....I just fake it every week because if I tell him I don't orgasm I think he would be so hurt and believe its his fault but its not its just me I guess...there's all these things to help men but nothing for women.

That makes me sad reading that xx
Do you mean 5/6 through sex in your life time or 5/6 full stop? Xx

Oh @Braygirlnow that's sad to read.

You're only cheating yourself by faking an orgasm.

I get how hard it would be to confess to your dh, you dont have to do that

You could just say that due to hormones (or stress / tiredness) the things that used to work (to give you the fake orgasm!)aren't working so well anymore. And suggest doing what you know works for you!

Your dh will want you to enjoy having sex with him so its win win. Make it your mission to get maximum pleasure each time.

We're in our 50s. We've been together 27 years. My dh is very loving & generous in bed. He's a great husband in all ways & I feel so lucky that we still have each other.

My libido took a nose dive after our dc was born. We went on to have serous fertility issues & all sorts of failed treatments in an unsuccessful attempt to have a second child. It had a devastating affect on my desire for sex for a long time.

That took a good while to get over & I'm v grateful that dh was patient & loving throughout. He once admitted he was worried I didn't find him attractive enough anymore & that gave me a bit of a wakeup

I realised I'd be devastated if he just lost interest in me sexually & that effectively that's how I'd been making him feel about himself which made me sad.

So I decided to take action. I took some supplements, spoke to GP & got hrt & i decided to focus on raising my own confidence. I lost some weight & got fitter

I also spoke to dh about planning.some nice dates together which also brought back intimacy.

And finally I decided I was not willing to ever fake orgasm again. I suggested some new stuff that I knew would help me & I just went for it.

The by-product was dh was thrilled for me to use him for my own pleasure & tjat in turn made it easier for me etc

Now, we feel back on track & sex is excellent. We're far closer & i feel excited to have sex because I know it'll be good for me each time & he's loving it too

You sort of have to take charge of your own pleasure but its so worth it when you do!

With the greatest respect I think you're way out of line for saying "sex is necessary for a healthy relationship. You don't get to decide if a couple should be having sex or not. Th ere could be lots of reasons why people don't have sex, it doesn't particularly mean their relationship isn't as strong as yours. However I do hate to burst your smug post shag bubble but I wouldn't say having sex to please a man was healthy.

Reading this tonight, me to a tee! Nothing to do with ‘being forced’ and everything to do with getting older!

Sorry should say ‘sex is necessary for ‘MY’ marriage to be healthy’
there are many, many threads on here that testify to the damage/fallout from a sexless marriage. Personally I couldn’t care less what other couples get up to ( or don’t!)
but I withholding sex in a committed union with a man I love very much wouldn’t be on for ‘ME’
you do you though of course
xx

And apathy - and it’s warm n muggy atm!!
Once done and dusted tho feels like everyone’s a winner! X

Name changed! Im in my 60s and would love to have sex again with DH after a drought caused by severe illness. But what do you use for “dryness”? I tried a couple of things from Boots but nothing really worked. Too embarrassed to ask friends.

I did feel like you OP. I know a lot (99%) was down to the fact there was deep resentment and unhappiness on my side, but even aside from that, sex just seemed too much of a hassle and a, I’ve done this a million times already I really don’t need to do it again, type of feeling. I’ve been single for many years now and don’t intend on having sex again, (although I was very into it when younger). The funny thing is, although I’m in my early 60s, and not had it for years, I haven’t dried out or had any changes ‘down there’.

YES is a water based lube that works really well. You can order it online. I think Love Honey do it and it comes in discrete. Superdrug also sell it.

Also, see about getting estradiol pessaries and cream for your vagina and vulva from your doctor for your vaginal dryness and atrophy.

So how would you feel if your DH popped into his motorbike forum after going for a walk with you and celebrated how he just spent an hour with you but thank god it’s over now, wahoo! And now he can get back to working on his bike? You sound like a child.

*discreet packaging.

Oh hell yes, this is me all over. My dc go to their dads (even though their late teens now) EOW so I know it’s DTD time (small house, thin walls).

I adore my DH, we’re a very tactile, cuddly couple but I have absolutely no interest in sex. I know it’s important to my dh and for a healthy relationship and when I’m in the ‘throws of it, I enjoy it, but tbh I’d rather have a good cuppa and a cuddle any day

YABU to call it DTD. It’s sex.

You know what, I’ve been thinking of this and if my DH did that, with the ‘joking toe tone’ I read the op with I’d probably laugh along with him.

Same here, who can be arsed

We've been married 40+ years and our sex life is better than ever. Im a plus size body but my husband loves it anyway, he's a bit more wrinkly but I still see him as perfect! We have sex 4 or 5 times a week and he's a very giving lover!! So no i don't agree with you.......

Yet, a lot of post menopause women are saying exactly the same. It's a complex issue. There isn't a senario comparable to having sex. Our bodies change throughout our life and we make the best of it.
I can remember commenting on the change of diet needed, for many women during the thick of menopause. A lot of posters tried to shut us down. Yet none of them were even in the start of Peri. Women (and men) should be able to discuss this. It's you who sounds like a child.

I just use the durex 'feel' lube. Tesco sell it, it's often on club card price around £5. I've found some of the other ones too medical, they remind me of an internal/smear.

I'd be gutted if DH felt this way about having sex with me.

I know what you mean. I've never been into sex, I think I might be asexual but I was happy to do it once a week or so because I love DH and it's still a bonding thing between us. It's been less since we've started sleeping in separate beds due to snoring but he seems to be OK with it and I am.

No DH here, but I agree with this really.

Right. Firstly, you could talk to your doctor, and don't be embarrassed, they deal with this stuff a lot. If you don't want to, there is a company called Yes. They make lots of products, I use Yes VM a couple of times a week as a general internal moisturiser (use a panty liner as it dribbles a bit!) and Yes WB as a lube during sex. Both available easily online, or, if you pluck up the courage to go to your GP, they are both available on prescription. I find them much better and non-irritating than KY or Durex lubes. I also understand that pure food-grade coconut oil is good, but haven't tried it personally.