DTD - All ticked off - HIGH FIVE!!!!

[Lardychops]

I’m sure I’m totally unreasonable but does anyone feel like a huge high five after they have DTD and ticked it off for another ten days/fortnight!

I love DH but I’m post meno; mum of 6 - 3 still at home ; hands on nan of 4 and work full time !

I actually don’t mind it once get into it and 💯 think sex is necessary for a healthy relationship but boy does it take effort these days and I’d much rather give it a miss if truth be told and doom scroll, watch telly read or catch up on emails!

The sense of satisfaction once done and dusted and out the way for a bit is fab !

Awful I know , poor DH I’m sure would be mortified if he knew but hey ho !!

🙌 HIGH Five!!!!

She probably wouldn't know...

Jesus Christ imaging living like this is depressing.

And yeah I’m menopausal.

Can in all honesty imagine DW doing exactly that, a yes that’s that over with for at least another month thought

I don't feel like this. Of course there are days when I'm really tired. On those days I prefer to just get my vibrator out because it's quicker, but if he starts touching me and it leads to sex, I always end up enjoying it. I need physical connection to maintain emotional connection with my husband. Cuddling and strokes can do it, but orgasming together is something else. I think if you are both interested in each other sexually then the peaks and dips in libido are just something you work through together. I couldn't imagine feeling this way all the time and I would hate to not enjoy sex because it gives me such joy.

She’d probably think fair dues.

It’s why I decided to not have any more relationships. I don’t miss it all in real
life. But when I see my celebrity ‘crush’ on tv I feel I could happily never get out of bed 😁

I haven't had sex in years and am unlikely to. I'd love it as I miss it. Know you're being light hearted and it sounds like you've got a lot on but I'm guessing you wouldn't really want to be me. Not really.

I get this so hard-I'm 47 and have namechanged
I've never felt anything during sex
First boyfriend (who treated me like shit) at 14,lost the big v at 17
I feel nothing at all,never had an orgsam,I don't feel turned on just numb
Dp is amazing,all he wants is for me to enjoy myself in bed (and out of it,he's the perfect partner,the dream man in many ways)
It's me-im dead when it comes to sex,I feel nothing-I've never felt randy in my life
I now find it can hurt when he's banging away and it feels like he's hitting my cervix (he'd stop in a heartbeat if I said it was hurting)
I don't hate sex,I just feel nothing around it,if we never did it again,I'd be so happy
As it is,at least twice a week I'm thinking 'thank fuck that's over for now'

I know a lot stems from my family who are evil,narcissistic and nasty bastards who tell anyone who will listen that I'm obsessed with sex and will shag anything that wears trousers,which led to a string of awful relationships,which in turn knocked me sideways but if I never had to have sex again,I'd be so happy

As it is,I plaster on a smile and fake it but will never make it

I feel so ashamed to admit this and this is the only time I have

After a hike or socialising with my family ??(things he does out if loyalty to me but actually enjoys once he’s there) god he does that openly with me lol - it’s a standing joke (as is the sex thing a bit to be fair !)

Not had sex for over 10 years. Still have a loving happy marriage so no, sex is not essential to a happy marriage and husband!

This seems sad. Not because you 'should' be enjoying sex but because it seems a shame for prior abuse to get in the way of you receiving pleasure. Would you consider seeing a psychosexual counsellor? You might unravel what is getting in the way.

I am so sorry that you had/have to put up with those bastards.

You should not feel ashamed for how you feel. However, if you feel pain please ask your partner to stop. You deserve better.

May I gently suggest that you try and get some counselling/therapy for the trauma you experienced because of those family members. I am guessing that it doesn’t just affect your sex life.

I hear you sister !

This too.

couldn’t care less neither x

No. We don't have sex very often, I'm 49 and DH is 54, both of us happy with quality not quantity. I think even when we first moved in together and I was 23 we only had sex twice a week at the most. It was something of a relief actually (particularly to my vagina and being rather prone to thrush previously) after previous boyfriends. We still managed to conceive DD1 and DD2 in the first month of actually trying to on both occasions. DH always had less of a sex drive than me anyway. We've been at it like pandas (i.e., not getting it on very often- more like just on holidays and trips away) since we had DD2, and laugh about how crap we are at DTD but neither feels any pressure to have more sex. And we really do not want to be having another child now with grown up children and hopefully ten years away from retirement, that is in both of our minds and we will relax a bit...and watch out(😂!) when my periods have definitely stopped.

Hundred percent I only wish I could share the high-five with him, but then he would know I am counting lol

2 years here. I would be happy never to do it again but I did have an open discussion with DH and he said while he would prefer to occasionally have sex he really isn't too bothered and if I don't want to then he is fine with that.

Op your attitude is so "chin up, best of British!"

I completely understand
I am 50 plus
Full on job, carer for a parent and children at home
I just want to go to bed and listen to a podcast

I have been trying to make more of an effort but it bloody had work.

Fair play to you, op. You sound like great fun and brilliantly honest. I’m not going to come here and be all po faced and smug about how I find sex a deeply fulfilling and sacred act that I do twenty times a week about something that is very real to a lot of women of a certain age, I feel it too sometimes. You can’t make yourself feel something you don’t, and the fact you’re willing to overlook your lack of enthusiasm and put him first on these occasions makes him a lucky man.

Totally agree with you.

I love a pp's phrase, "at it like pandas". This is my husband and me - other than the first year we were together, once or twice a month is plenty for us. Sometimes longer. Doesn't feel like a chore, but I do know what you mean @Lardychops, it's good to make the time (it's a lazy Sunday morning thing for us though, too tired at night), and it does sort of feel like ticking off a task - marriage maintenance ✅

Edited to add: I'm only in my early 40s though, and he's not even 40. Some people are just pandas I suppose.

I am loving the honesty on here.

I stopped having sex in my last relationship - it had begun to hurt and he wouldn't stop when I asked. We split up and now I have absolutely zero desire ever to be in a relationship or have sex again. I'm mid 60s and just going to work, doing housework, walking the dog and socialising is enough for me now. I just can't imagine ever wanting to pander to a man again in any way, so I'll settle for a nice cup of tea, a good book and an early night over sex.

That’s a bit sad. If it thought it was a chore I’d not want to do it.