DTD - All ticked off - HIGH FIVE!!!!

[Lardychops]

I’m sure I’m totally unreasonable but does anyone feel like a huge high five after they have DTD and ticked it off for another ten days/fortnight!

I love DH but I’m post meno; mum of 6 - 3 still at home ; hands on nan of 4 and work full time !

I actually don’t mind it once get into it and 💯 think sex is necessary for a healthy relationship but boy does it take effort these days and I’d much rather give it a miss if truth be told and doom scroll, watch telly read or catch up on emails!

The sense of satisfaction once done and dusted and out the way for a bit is fab !

Awful I know , poor DH I’m sure would be mortified if he knew but hey ho !!

🙌 HIGH Five!!!!

In the immortal words of Pulp, "Jesus, it must be great to be straight" 😬

Sounds like you guys are a really good match! X

Doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you lots and enjoy it once into it x

Can relate to this early on in a relationship
but not after a decade or two x

I’m so happy to be single 😬

So long as both happy and not having to settle then can’t see an issue! Xx

But I do think that many, MANY women would relate to it as being a chore.

I do I’d think fair play love x

The naïveté of those who don’t have sex and think that everything is hunky dory in their marriage 🤦‍♀️

We sort of have in a joking way a few times tbh! X

My DB is a broken men due to sexless marriage. A kinder more attentive husband and dad would be hard to find.
He stays as he just doesn’t want to lose the home he worked for since 19 and only see his lovely kids half the time.
His DW my SIL is perfectly happy with the situation.
She has everything she ever wanted and her DH is not going anywhere for the foreseeable despite being very lonely and unhappy.
I’ve even heard her make a joke to
that effect. Not nice really.

Why have sex you don’t really want?

lol so true! X

I've just name changed for this thread and I am going to change straight back after I've posted.

I just wanted to say OP, I could have written your post. I'm 50, I've been with DH for nearly 30 years and happily married for 20. I used to absolutely love sex but over the years it has become less and less important to me, and now with three teens, a full on job, and the normal trials and tribulations of mid life coupled with perimenopause, I honestly just want to sink into bed quietly at the end of the day and peacefully read a good book. I am very happy, not depressed in any way, and have many things in life that fulfil me and bring me joy. But sex just isn't one of them anymore.

But it is very important to DH, and if it is important to him, then of course it is important to me. I loved your analogy of him going for a nice walk to make you happy, because honestly that is exactly how it feels to me. Not something I'd choose to do myself, but something I'm perfectly happy to do for the sake of my lovely DH. Often on threads like this, it feels like the only two states are either joyful, lustful sex multiple times a week, or miserable, resentful duty sex. What you are describing is something in between the two, and it isn't something I've really seen discussed here before.

Often women in our position are told that our relationships, and indeed our entire existence, must somehow be grey and empty and sad. The implication is that we are misfunctioning, and that it is a problem that must be fixed, either through HRT, diet and exercise, or by doing the decent thing and leaving our wonderful husbands so that they can find new partners who want nothing more but to shag them three times a day in perpetuity. I disagree, that it seems that many other women feel the same, given the current poll results.

The only thing I don't fully understand is that I do almost without exception enjoy it once I get going. I have no idea why I am so completely apathetic about the idea of it. I completely relate to your sense of ticking it off the list for the week!

My posted posted twice for some reason so I'm just deleting the second one.

Yes there have been times when time and tiredness make it difficult to organise. Yes late after getting to bed was not the best time.
We organised quickies, kids getting up in morning, quickie in dining room. It also added a bit of risk and fun. Garden shed, but not the greenhouse!

It’s a bit like going to an exercise class

• effort to get there and have to get geared up in advance knowing it’s coming
• one at the class feels great and releases good feelz and you feel so much better for it
• leave the class thinking that was brill but glad not back till next week and sod coming back before !

I used to have a huge sex drive. Now the thought of having sex makes me recoil. I avoid it - but I think it’s my relationship - not my hormones.

@Lardychops

do you have any particular fetishes OP that you haven’t yet explored? This could reignite your sex drive

good lord! can’t be arsed with all that these days - no desire to go down that route at all !!
more than happy to have a nice little middle of the road bunk up every 10 days/ fortnight- so long as not too much faffing about - but not start prancing about with fetishes
good grief - can’t think of anything worse !
xx

Ugh.

@TheBombThatWillBringUsTogether

don’t be a kink shamer

Perhaps we could try an asbestos suit and welders helmet ?
or a pair of wellies and some oven gloves

Hang on - actually my favourite would be being served tea and cake while fully clothed on the sofa and having the telly put on for me while DH saunters off ( sexily of course) to the garage to tinker about on his motorbikes for the whole evening - yep that’s my fave fetish I think !

Don't pathologise a perfectly normal sex life. No-one needs to be "exploring" whips and chains just because they only fancy doing it once a fortnight.

Haha so true.
‘kink shaming’ honestly , I ask you…