If you are married to an orthopaedic surgeon (not private practice), how well off do you feel as a family, if you don’t work yourself?

[Yunall]

Just wondering as DP is a surgeon (just made consultant). He doesn’t do private work and I would say we have a nice lifestyle but only because my income tops it up. I’m used to a lot of luxury and had a privileged upbringing (don’t mean to sound like a dick I’m just stating a fact) and I wonder if we had kids if I would actually have to continue working to have a decent lifestyle. Not something I talk much to DP about as he came from a less well off background and understandably I would come across ungrateful!!!

I'm a bit shocked you'd have the gall to ask this question in a cost of living crisis. Especially because there's no real question, it's just a humble brag.
£110k is many times beyond the combined full time salaries of nearly everyone in the UK. £190k is unimaginable for most.

Absolutely not. GP partners are paid significantly more than consultants. Over time, consultants can increase their pay by taking on extra responsibilities, discretionary points etc but no, if you want to make the most money as an nhs doctor, bring a GP partner is the way to go (but a very difficult job, as they all are in their own way). Being a salaried GP makes less than a consultant.

Depends where you live - that isn’t much at all in the SE. Why on earth would you want to sit at home BTW?

I agree. Mumsnet is like another planet sometimes.

Agreed.
I also work in the public sector (emergency services) and am on 49k, DP on 24k, with a kid on the way. I have to go back to work when she's 6 months because I have no choice.

OP, Your combined income is more than the prime minister for fucks sake.

You don’t mean to sound like a dick but you certainly do sound like one. Fact!

This post! Do u realise how ridiculous u are? Ur a grown ass woman. Make your own bloody money to keep yourself in luxury if u want it so bad. Or maybe get a reality check. Doctors are working class!!!! They work to support themselves and are payid from government taxes. I don’t know where you think you will be living a life of luxury on a consultants wage. Comfortable maybe but he wont be buying you a Birkin every payday. Get used to it, or maybe go to work full time like other woman in the world who DONT rely on a man to keep them.

I don't understand why you don't want to work. If you are fed up with what you currently do, can you not try something else? Earning your own money is a great thing, whether you need it or not. It gives you freedom and independence and you earn respect.

So u know how ignorant your comment is?

Now we have a pension and my salary of £26K, and a paltry £100 a month private pension. At least I know now why savings are dwindling fast. £100K and being told it’s a struggle 😂😂

You're hardly poor if you have a state pension of £12500 + £26K + £1200
That's around £39K and one of you has retired @Dodgyormymind

Presumably the person who's retired has the choice to carry on working past 65?

No mortgage, no childcare, just everyday expenses.

Two incomes totalling £40K is less than the minimum wage.

I don't want to work, money is slavery

I am a dentist and am so tired of this line continuously being trotted out by ignorant people that dentists are earning a fortune?
A small proportion of dentists are, but majority are not earning a fortune at all

@notanormalday no they don’t get paid the same at all. NHS consultants get paid a standardised salary which increases over time, but isn’t insanely lucrative (based on the times we live in). Many make their additional money from private practice or having additional external responsibilities or consultancy. GPs Partners own their own business and their income is subject to the profitability of their practice - they are entirely private enterprises and not subject to standardised pay. Many earn roughly the same as a consultant (and many in these challenging times, less) but some do extremely well -
particularly if they have additional responsibilities on top of their partnership salary.

Just wow. You sound ridiculously spoilt and entitled.

This. I cannot even imagine 110k a year. That's SO much. We have 2 kids and manage on less than half that in the East.

What planet is the OP on and others??!!

@ilovesooty @Yunall Wanting to look after your own children isn't being spoilt. You can still have a nice lifestyle provided you don't waste money on things like private schooling.

Well the moral of this thread is if you want to live well don't have children 😂

Given how you describe your upbringing you may look at the independent sector for schools. Taking into account extras like trips and all that comes with it then for secondary you might be looking at 40k each. Assuming two children the school fees aren’t that much off the net income of a consultant. That takes no account of mortgage or general. I hate to say it but for the life you seem to want you should have looked towards a DP in finance rather than medicine. That said if your upbringing was particularly comfortable you may have a trust fund or access to other financial vehicles that will cover property and school fees etc in which his salary be purely disposable income so we would need to know more about your overall financial position. Without sounding unkind, if you don’t bring bags of money and are already looking at him to be the sole earner what pvecisely do you bring to the table?

@crazeekat What a nasty series of posts. Some women don’t necessarily want to keep slogging into work and do everything else in the home and look after dc. You are entitled to do what you want of course.

I’m not sure £110,000 is enough in some areas either! In some places it would be. Depends on mortgage and outgoings.

Women should not be told by other women that they are not allowed to be a SAHM because women are jealous. That’s what it amounts to. And why cannot better off people have a discussion about what they would like to do? It’s just unacceptable to have this amount of bile levelled at the op. I didn’t go back to work after DD2. So what? I was run ragged after DD1 and working as well and DH ran his own business. He didn’t have the time to share any childcare so I did it all with paid childcare. It made sense for us and I didn’t care what anyone else thought. And yes, DH earned a lot!

Nor was I the only one doing this at DDs school. The op has every right to say she doesn’t want to work. I did but it after DD1 but it was hard managing everything. If you aren’t in love with your career you might want to step back and maybe look at alternatives.

High earners are high earners for a reason. Others can aspire to earn more. I’m not going to spend my waking hours not talking about my situation because posters think high earners have no rights to discuss anything! Some women are just selfish and jealous. You can talk about what matters in your life. Others can talk about their thoughts too.

Are you NHS or private? I’m seeing A LOT of private dentists on Instagram, they’re making a lot of money by the looks of it. Especially in London. Have a look on Instagram if you don’t believe me.

@LookingAtMyBhunas Prime Ministers don't have to live on their salaries. They get all kinds of freebies, and when their time in office is over, they earn a fortune through speaking engagements.

@LurkThenPost Could you be a dentist? No? So don’t begrudge money going to those who can do it! They have aspired to earn more than you and have managed it. They pay more tax too. Why are we so against people earning good money? It’s pure jealousy. So what if they have a great business that makes money. They probably employ people too. And they pay tax. It’s utterly ridiculous to keep complaining about high earners. They pay more income tax than all the 20% group! You NEED their taxes.

I’m not begrudging, if you saw my previous post - I told OP she should have married a dentist because that’s where the money is at. Doctors don’t make as much money. Nowhere did I say they don’t deserve the money or are greedy. I just said they make a lot which is true. If you want a rich good lifestyle, marry a dentist. Then comfortable.

Also OP husband is against private work, which is where the money is at.