To think a lot of women are “dating down” just to avoid being alone?

[ThatPeachLemur]

I’ve seen too many brilliant, beautiful women mothering dusty men and calling it love.

Agree wholeheartedly with your last paragraph. I read on here often, a woman being told to leave their horrible partner and reassured that they’ll meet someone else, much nicer. Like that’s the main goal in life and some sort of priority 🙄

If you wanna see odd matched couples go round Tecos after work. Yikes.
Makes me wonder how I'm single lol

I'm at the older age range I disagree with most of this.

I wonder if its actually mentally draining or the planning and organising weekends/ life with your partner when your still young.
They think its fun and great having someone. But its quite a lot of energy right?
Thinking of someone else etc

I sit at the older end of the age range and sometimes despair at the princessy attitude of some younger. And at the superficial checklist they have for what they deserve in somebody from day 1, whether that be looks, earning power, dishwashing ability, empathy, fidelity etc.

The fact that wanting fidelity and empathy is seen as 'superficial' is genuinely disheartening.

I've been single forever at this point, and I'm happy with it. It suits me, and more people should try it, in my opinion, instead of putting up with all kinds of shit to be part of a couple.

That PP is expressing the kind of attitude I was talking about - people who take great umbrage at women who prefer to remain single rather than settle for a man she does not want and with whom she is not compatible.

A lot of people think women’s duty is to cater to men and be happy that a mam wants them.

I am like you. I would prefer a good partnership with a compatible partner who is somebody I like and WANT to be with.

If that is not available I am happy to remain single.

And yes it is bonkers that desiring empathy, fidelity, somebody who shares the domestic load and somebody you are attracted to is asking for too much. Ye Gods!

Me too.

The fact that empathy and fidelity are listed as superficial is why so many women from an older vegetation were told to put up and shut up and turn a blind eye to cheating and poor behaviour.

Women no longer have to tolerate poor men because that’s what their marriage vows said. More of us have our own income and independence and are finding as we get older, we’re far happier single.

As for men getter better with age - maybe that PP should try dating as an older women to see the reality of men old enough to be grandfathers acting like Jay from the Inbetweeners.

To me that’s the absolute bare minimum requirements in an equal partner - the fact that PP sees them as superficial speaks volumes.

@CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone

If you think you deserve a 250k job but no one is offering you one, do you just stop working?
Why do you deserve an amazing man? Why you?

I need an income. I don’t need a romantic partner. What is wrong with a woman preferring to remain single if she cannot find an “amazing” partner?

I couldn't agree more.

Generation not vegetation - bloody predictive text 😂😂

Some incredibly heartening posts on here. No longer are women expected to just “put up and shut up”. There’s no obligation to be in a relationship. If they don’t add to your life in a positive way, why bother?

I will admit I knew what you meant but it still made me chuckle! 😂

I married badly. Did it all. Earned more, most of house stuff, most of children stuff...he jad a breakdown..I helped him with that too then he cheated. He brought little to the table...
Wasted 27 years.
Since my divorce everyone has said..we were suprised to hear you agreed to marry him. The anxiety before the wedding i put down to nerves...probably 2nd thoughts looking back.

For me to even consider another man hed have to be amazing. I do miss sex tho..that's the only thing.

I did LOL at that nonsense about men getting better with age. Nonsense spouted by people who want women to endure whatever it takes just to say she has a man.

The kind of person who thinks it is “superficial” to desire an empathetic and faithful partner. Jesus….

Agree OP. Most of my female friends are with men who bore me to tears or are out of shape or let the wives do all the grunt work or are argumentative and self absorbed. I don’t understand how my friends tolerate these husbands.

Friend married a house. No interest in the husband but wanted to say she had a house

I must admit, I did like having a boyfriend when I was late teens, early twenties as it was exciting. But now, absolutely not!

What is “dating down” ?

Do you see many of these?

Dating someone who is not roughly your equal
E.g someone earning a decent income, rents/owns their own house, intelligent, empathetic and generous, attractive (maybe not all of these things) ends up with someone objectively worse (not necessarily financially, usually personality and attitude that makes them worse), some successful women end up dating someone with no money, no job, slob that won't do any house work or take any responsibility for anything. I think most people would be able to notice she was dating down
There will always be areas where one partner may have better qualities in certain areas but weaknesses in other areas but it should generally balance out in a relationship.

Quite a few!

I don't see what the issue is even if some women do. Nobody's forced to get married.

A woman is allowed to have expectations and know when she deserves better. If she is with a man who is abusing her every day, she can decide she deserves better and leave

That's a strange response. I was talking about women who don't date because they expect their partner to be amazing, a 10 if you will.

Is your definition of an amazing man someone who doesn't abuse her every day?

I'd have thought that was the minimum requirement in a partner.