To think a lot of women are “dating down” just to avoid being alone?

[ThatPeachLemur]

I’ve seen too many brilliant, beautiful women mothering dusty men and calling it love.

Some women don't really think past the fanny gallop stage.

I don’t understand why woman think being alone is a bad thing. It’s not and no one is judging you except the woman who’ll take anyone just so they’re not alone.

This
I know so many more single women now. And most of the ones in relationships aren’t happy

You have to be joking !

Over the years men have been unfaithful to me, tried to cocklodge, tried to prevent me from getting a further qualification because they didn't like it, and proved themselves lightfingered around my possessions. I've had to call the police once and I've been the victim of aggressive road rage attacks twice. I was also sexually assaulted on a plane by a senior colleague while I was asleep.

I, on the other hand have always earned my own living, have never threatened, assaulted or stolen from anyone. I pay my debts, look after my child full time and look out for my elderly neighbour simply because she is on her own.

I regard myself as head & shoulders above the large minority of distinctly shabby & second rate men out there. God knows, it isn't difficult.

Thinking about all the women I know….

40% are settling /staying even though unhappy
40%are strong, funny and single with high standards but a lot are open to a relationship if a great guy came along
20% are in good & equal relationships with (from what I can see) great guys

I am definitely above a lot of men I meet! Said without arrogance too.

I’m not settling for dreary Dave who brings nothing to my life and wants a whole lot back for his nothing! Why would I when I consider myself to have great qualities.

I have three beautiful, funny, clever and empathetic friends married/in relationships with absolute dicks because they don’t want to be alone. These men are cocklodgers of the highest level. I also have friends in healthy relationships. So it depends on the woman. I am single and happy to be so.

This dynamic kinda reminds me of Phil and Lils parents from Rugrats 😂

That's the root of it all, its really not hard to be a decent person but so so many men just are not.

It's probably area dependant but I don't see it changing at all.

I live in a London borough with staggeringly high levels of adult and child poverty and domestic violence.

For a lot of women, a violent man is still better than no man at all.

This is me.

Almost in my mid forties with two primary school aged DC. I’m kind, caring, generous, been told I have a pretty face, curvy body. I’m also intelligent, a high earner, own my own lovely home (with mortgage), own car, living a great life.

While it would be wonderful to meet someone in a similar position, all my male counterparts are already married, and firmly stating that way. I can’t see myself meeting someone, and have given up dating.

I left my EX (who earned about a third of what I did at the time) because he was emotionally abusive, jealous of my life, commitment shy (lucky escape!), and had been future faking me for years. Funny enough now he can see what a great life I’m living, and he’s actively trying to worm his way back in after 4 years apart LOL

I'm not dating at all, currently fine on my own ☺️

It's impossible for a woman to do anything other than date down, unless she dates another woman.

According to MN that might be the case but out of my friends (50-70 years) two are long-term single by choice (single parents too) and I can think of nine friends who are happily married with lovely partners, fit, intelligent and handsome too.

If anyone dated ‘down’ it was me (divorced and single now.)

🙄🙄

Cheesy and ridiculous.

I second this! I'm seeing a lot of ladies choosing to be single rather than settle for dull and sparkless companionship. I think a lot of us are realizing that accepting the bare minimum of men is just not it. There are lots of good men out there...there's just MORE men with no ambition who lack basic life skills like washing up (and these are the ones that get annoyed by the ladies choosing to be single!)

Really? Where’s this? Narnia?

I have done this OP, in my twenties. I managed to escape and get into therapy. I hope women are starting to become more aware of the pitfalls of settling in relationships.

Are you sure it’s that they don’t want to be alone, or is it that they want children and woukd rather have them with a shit man than not at all?

I have seen friends of mine at the end of their fertile years make bizarre decisions regarding partners and I think it was their desire for a child that was pushing them to do this.

I have given up dating for this very reason. I feel like I am always having to lower my expectations and standards just to find someone in the dating pool. So I've binned it completely.

Could try harder @hathawayyyyy

How very, very lovely of you.

Fewer of us are doing this now, theres a real movement happening at the moment, women waking up to their situations and leaving the manchildren.

I'm dating down, I know why, I deserve better, but I have my reasons. And while the actual relationship is deader than the dinosaurs, I've grown fond of the twat and we work as companions (in the few moments he lifts a finger).

Do you think it’s also happening in the other direction?

I work with a guy in his mid-40s - really nice, funny, well kept and dressed. He has two kids, divorced for about a decade and has been single ever since. Appears to be a catch (admitted he might be completely different to live with).

I asked him about dating and his response was he can’t be arsed. He has plenty of hobbies, friends, travels, sees his kids regularly, doesn’t see the point in getting in a relationship and having to compromise when he’s happy.

Let me guess though - you’re not. Just judging everyone else?

I’ve no skin in the game - I’ve been single for 8 years but who’s to say these couples aren’t a good match in ways you can’t see from up there?