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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude colleague

103 replies

Kyotomayoto · 17/07/2025 10:13

Someone close to me has passed away in tragic circumstances. I am taking a couple of days annual leave to regroup and casually mentioned this to a colleague, without going into detail. She looked from side to side and said “ohhh what do I need to say that?”

I was fuming internally but laughed it off and just said don’t worry. She replied, I need to say don’t worry? I then slightly more sharply said the appropriate response was sorry or condolences.

she doesn’t speak English as a first language but speaks it excellently. I feel there’s a real lack of empathy there; I have to educate her on how best to be kind to me?!

I also just find her behaviour fully rude at times. We were talking about foxes the other day and I said that I quite liked them and felt bad humans were encroaching onto their natural habitat. She told me to get over it…

We are in a very small team of people and I’m finding it very difficult to build any kind of positive relationship with her.

OP posts:
Pizzagirly · 19/07/2025 14:34

She sounds rude as fxxk.
Stop making any effort.
Keep notes of her rude responses and have them ready for HR.

Happyflower12345 · 19/07/2025 18:41

BuildbyNumbere · 19/07/2025 13:58

You don’t have the bandwidth to polity respond to a colleague when they ask you if you’re enjoying your lunch? What?

From what OP said, the other lady replied yes to that question but didn't elaborate or engage in conversation. She got a response to her question.

Kazzybingbong · 21/07/2025 09:53

My first thought was autism but you said she’s not like that with other colleagues?

People are strange. There’s even a song about it.

Don’t waste any more brain space on it. Pretend she doesn’t exist.

Sorry you’re going through this ❤️

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