FGS wrong wine wrong pizza

[Missrosie123]

Just as the title says really. A busy day. I was going to do a Deliveroo order for pizzas and my favourite wine. DH insists on going to the shop. Comes back without the wine. Goes back for it and gets right brand but wrong type. Come to cook pizzas. Asked for two. He got both the same. The one type of pizza I don’t eat.
Im being pathetic as I’ve not even said anything. I can’t cope with his inevitable ‘I’m so rubbish at everything’ downward spiral where I then have to pick him up. Sick of carrying the mental load for everything. He is a good man and a good dad, it’s just not enough.

sounds like its not the first time!

Why do so many women marry impossible men? The being impossible occurs after the wedding, often after they have a baby.

Oh, I think you misunderstood my point. But that's fine. Text rarely conveys context or emotion. Though getting angry about my DH being a great husband is a bit weird.

We are a very silly couple and his genuine remorse was very serious. When he remembered the next time he was like an eager puppy wanting to show off how clever he was, and I laughed because it was very over the top and extremely silly. He wanted me to know that he wouldn't make that mistake again.

As for the bare minimum, I'm fortunate as he cooks, does the laundry, irons and does all the shopping.

I'm sorry if your DH doesn't do more than the bare minimum. Mine is extremely conscientious, and wonderfully silly with it. I'm very much in love with him and we are disgustingly happy.

Oh FFS

As somebody already pointed out- I’d love to see these poor diddums at work doing exactly the opposite what their manager told them to do or ignore the instructions.
That would be the ground of first performance review then disciplinary meeting if recurring all the time.
Not to mention constant need “to be told what to do”

The woman at home is supposed to shut up and put up or do it herself (unless her knight in shiny armour will offer to do it then fuck it up).
Don’t you dare to say a word,get back in your box and accept the crumbs (from inedible pizza)

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Serious words need to be had
he needs to quit his whiny “poor me” attitude and pay attention to home life
if that doesn’t work then match the effort then probably split up(kids do adjust eventually).

Way to completely miss the point …

Possibly. Or on the nail. Have DD in FTW and not only is a list kept of what needs replacing, either DD or her DP does the shop to make sure it's in the house. Plus ingredients needed for likely meals. Take-aways are a treat. Quite likely to make own pizza - and a good stock of wine inhouse.

People are so weird. She didn’t want to make a pizza? She wanted to order one.

Agree. I think the point sailed so far over her head she didn't even see it. Totally random and irrelevant response.

So she should have ordered one. Ordering a bottle of wine rather than getting one off the rack is a bit odd, however. Does no-one go shopping?
She let DH go and buy stuff, he got the wrong stuff. Either eat it and drink it or bin it and go and get what you wanted - and let him whinge all he likes. Why come here? Pizza's cold by now.

All your posts have missed the point or misunderstood the situation. They're not 'on the nail'. They're in a different hemisphere to the nail.

What always disappoints me on occasions like this is, doesn’t he know me after all these years? Doesn’t he know what wine I drink? OP unlike us I think they just grab anything and then if you complain they say “you asked for wine and pizza and that’s what I got”. Everything has to be micromanaged. It’s fucking tiring x

Come the fuck on @Grammarnut. Are you deliberately being obtuse or are you really thick and didn't read the OP? She states, "I was going to do a Deliveroo order for pizzas and my favourite wine. DH insists on going to the shop. Comes back without the wine. Goes back for it and gets right brand but wrong type. Come to cook pizzas. Asked for two. He got both the same. The one type of pizza I don’t eat."

At what point in that opening sentence does it offer you an opinion of making your own pizza, having a stack of wine already that you like ready to hand. Have you ever wondered that other people live differently from you? They work fucking hard and don't want to arrive home and starting faffing around with making their own pizza, they might just want to flop on the sofa and eat the pizza they wanted to be delivered to them. But instead they got a twat of a husband who decided to take matters into his own hand and get it all wrong.

He can easily not know this. It has not sunk in to his long term memory because it doesn't compute with important.

Most men want support from their human support person - OP's DH is no different. They don't want criticism or demands, or to be shown to be less knowledgeble/empathetic etc.
I have watched men fall silent and then change the subject when a woman has shown herself knowledgeable or interesting - it's misogyny.

We work to live. Organisation makes it easier to deal with. Which was my point about the wine. If you like something then have it in. You can have a standard order with a supermarket and get everything delivered, just tweaking for extras/changes you want. You don't have to go physically to a shop anymore.
OP sounds over-stressed and her DH sounds like a misogynist twit. But a bit of organisation would go a long way to solving that.
And were it the woman who was 'a good mum' and 'a good woman' but not very good at carrying the emotional load or dealing with the infrastructure of life, which the man was then carrying I doubt very much there would be this vitriol being thrown at her as being 'anti-man', constructively incompetent etc.
And if OP is so unhappy in her marriage/work that a pizza and a bottle of wine totally upset her then she needs to change her life.

What could be more relaxing after a busy day than kneading some dough to make a pizza, then prepare all the toppings, update the shopping list to ensure that stocks are replenished, cook the pizzas ...

Life is too short to put up with a useless man

@Grammarnut You missed the post where OP says it was the straw that broke the camel's back. There are other issues in the relationship.

I would also say that you can be the most organised person and still need to go to the shop sometimes.

Okay, we get it, you're unable to conceive that other people are different from you. Can you stop me-railing the OP's thread now?

Your child will also be heartbroken living in a home with a mother who is increasingly unhappy.

And you're not responsible for the happiness of another adult.

Again, it's not a given that OP's child will be 'heartbroken' or 'damaged'. It may affect the child having an unhappy mother, but it's not helpful to lay on more pressure and responsibility.

Children are resilient. They live with parents who are unhappy, moderately unhappy, all the time. OP should consider her relationship on its own merits. Her child will likely be okay either way.

I understand people are different from me. I just don't understand why people are so disorganised. But then I am tactless and always have been.
OP probably needs to re-evaluate her relationship if pizza and wine are the last straw though.

My children have friends of divorced parents.
Yes they were upset but they saw their mother was much happier, then both parents moving on and co parenting well and they are all happier now.
THAT is the reality.
Mh desperately unhappy parents never divorced and messed us all up.
I wish they had divorced and not put us through the trauma of their blatant unhappiness.

@Grammarnut , You seem proud your tactlessness. It's not an admirable quality.

Exactly totally agree with you and not only that but he plays the victim card and makes OP feel guilty about even mentioning his mistakes. It's not about her being ungrateful it's about him not being able to accept he got something wrong.