To charge my MIL for childcare since she’s stopped helping halfway through the summer holidays?

[CookyPsych]

Bit of a WWYD/AIBU combo here really. MIL offered to do 3 days a week childcare over the summer hols to help us out as I’ve gone back to work FT. All smiles and “of course I’ll help” back in June. Great. We sorted everything round that.

Fast forward 2 wks in and she’s suddenly “too tired” (she’s 62 and quite fit tbh) and now only wants to do one day. No discussion, just dropped it on us Monday morning. DH is useless and doesn’t want to “rock the boat” 🙄

Cue me panicking and having to scrabble round for emergency nursery cover and begging favours off other mums. It’s cost us £300 already and that’ll keep rising. We wouldn’t have booked her in if MIL had stuck to what she agreed. Feel like we’re being taken for mugs.

WIBU to ask MIL to contribute to the cost? I’m not expecting full whack but surely if she pulled out of what she offered halfway through, she should at least chip in?

DH thinks I’m being harsh but I’m just knackered and stressed and feel like she’s left us in the lurch. Honest opinions pls before I actually say anything to her.

She’s still saving you money by doing one day a week?
it’s not fair for her to cancel last minute, but you now know you can’t rely on her going forward

Wow 😲 I’m genuinely shocked that you even wrote this post!! 🤣🤯🤣

I understand that MIL has let you down but it’s not her responsibility to fund your childcare.
What would you have done if she hadn’t agreed to do it?
3 days a week would be exhausting I can assure you. I’m very fit at the same age but having my DGD for one day wipes me out
If you go to MIL with a bill you’re in danger of losing the one day she’s offering !

Be grateful she's offering you a day. Wildly unreasonable to expect her to 'chip in' they are your children

i don't think you can ask her to pay, nope.

I wouldn’t let her cover any holidays again, even if she begs you. Yes, that will teach her. Bet she'll be absolutely devastated... 😂

No you can’t ask her to pay as others have said but you can remember this. She’s left you in the lurch.
personally I would say she is unreliable and likely to let you down so I would make sure my childcare is not dependent on her even if I have to cut my hours. I would not even use her for one day a week. It’s her prerogative to withdraw her offer and your prerogative to not use her.

Did you not have a Plan B ?

Well said, @Italiangreyhound. This is what it comes down to.

The #op wants to charge the poor MiL for MiL’s well-intentioned (but unsustainable) favour which was going to be for free.

Absolutely this. I get that it's frustrating she's changed her mind OP, but you're still getting a day of free childcare and you don't sound at all grateful for that. I predict that attempting to charge her for the other two days would permanently wreck your relationship with her. And for the record, however 'fit' people in their sixties may be, a lot do get tired more easily. Heck, I'm 5 years younger than your MIL and I wouldn't be able to cope with looking after kids 3 days a week. You're being so entitled.

New parents need to take a bigger role in acknowledging that parenting and looking after children is a tough job. Plenty of women moan about how difficult it is during maternity leave but then think it’s reasonable for someone to look after the toddler for full days most or all of the week for free!

Im wondering also if mil did indeed offer unprompted, what was the original plan? And where is that allocation of cash?

This! ⬆️

And this! ⬆️

Gosh 13 pages in …….
First time poster and hasn’t replied to any comments = TROLL

Move on

Awful entitled post. Your lucky she's doing any at all and no I wouldn't make a big drama.
Far better she's been honest.

Did you get her to sign a contract, thought not……
are you sure the conversation wasn’t just an “offer” of three days help, if she could, and you’ve taken it as cast in stone. I agree though that she could’ve said earlier but she is allowed to say no…if she wants.